Author's note: I don't know if this counts as romance. I didn't know where else to put it. So, here goes.
*****
"That will be all, Ms. Catherine. You can join us tomorrow," my new boss says.
I thank him and exit the room. As I walk through the busy streets, I smile inwardly at the prospect of a new job. New beginnings, new roads and hopefully some normalcy. Once in my home, I pour some wine and relax on the couch. For all the horrors of the past year or so, my life seems to be taking a turn. A good one.
The next day I enter into what is my new workplace. I am one of four employees of the law firm. The dull beige of the office welcomes me.
"You Catherine?" a short lady asks, startling me.
"Yeah, hi," I say, my eyes a little wide. She's older than me, 40 probably. Her smile gentle, her demeanor welcoming.
"Welcome to the hellhole. I'm Martha. The corner desk is yours," she points towards one end. It's barely a few feet away.
"That's Michael and that's Edward," she says as they walk up to me.
"Hiya, welcome to the hellhole where God does not even bother to look," Michael says with a grin. He's older than Martha. Wrinkles on his face, a nice smile, I like him instantly and wonder what's with everyone calling the office hellhole. As he leaves Edward extends his hand.
"Hello, nice to meet you," he says.
"Hi," I say giving him a handshake. It's been some time since I've noticed men and Edward gives me chills, the good ones. His hands are electric. The handshake bolts through me. More importantly they're sending signals, down there. I try to banish these thoughts; not for me. Not now.
I walk to my desk and settle down. There's a file named 'job description'. I go through it, trying to come to grips with my new job. The file has a list of all the clients I'll have to attend to. I immerse myself in it, slowly forgetting all about Edward. The job itself seems straightforward. I'll have to meet a few clients to find out the particulars. But nothing too stressful. A few bonds to take care of, but it is mostly rich people and their wills. Hours pass unnoticed before Martha hollers at me.
"You haven't lifted your head up once girl, it's been two hours."
I look up, startled again. I don't think she has a low voice at all. She's affable though. I think we'll get along just fine. I glance at the clock and it shows a quarter past eleven. I look back at Martha and she's still looking at me. I realize I haven't replied to her.
"Just getting to know the job better," I smile at her a little embarrassed that I'm so into the job.
"Want to know the coffee machine better?" she asks, sarcasm in her voice. She gets up and points her fingers towards a door, gesturing me to join. I am a little tired. I figure a break will do no harm and follow her. Through the corner of my eye, I see Edward's gaze following me. He makes no move to conceal when I turn my face to him. He continues to look at me, his expression unchanged. It's a stare down contest as I continue to walk towards the door. His eyes, they're intense. The stare, unnerving. I detect a faint smile as I open the door and enter a small, drab room, painted white.
"Black?" Martha asks and I nod with a hesitant smile, trying to forget what happened.
"You need not work so hard. They don't pay extra for that," she says grinning and I laugh with her.
"I just like to be involved," I say.
"Well, don't expect to be appreciated for it. Here," she says handing a cup.
As Martha tells me more about herself and her family, I feel happy about the normalcy beginning to enter my life. A small office, nice colleagues, it all seems to be headed towards as normal a life as possible. There's Edward, of course, my mind reminds me. I choose to concentrate on Martha instead.
She has a daughter who's finishing school and invites me to join her family sometime for dinner. I'm pleasantly surprised at how welcoming she is.
When we head out, my eyes involuntarily move to Edward's desk. He's missing. I thank my stars and take my place. I wrestle with my mind convincing it that it's a good thing. As my day continues I catch myself looking at his desk from time to time, hoping to see him, staring at me. I lunch with Martha and Michael at a nearby restaurant. Michael's a very funny man. He's witty with laws as well, which I didn't know was possible. We head back to the office and my heart skips a beat when I see Edward at his spot. Our talk draws his eyes towards us and like before, they rest on me. I refuse to play his game and continue talking to Michael but I can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Michael's talking about an amendment made to foster home laws but I don't think I am processing any of it. I excuse myself and head back to my desk, aware that he's watching. I cast a glance to confirm it and turn my head towards the computer again.
I walk back home, a conflict raging between my mind and body. Every ounce of sense in me asks me not to act on what I so badly want. And every string in my heart asks me to shed my inhibitions and embrace what might turn out to be good. My mind reminds me of all that's gone wrong and my heart counters it with the hope of all that could go right. The debate rages on, as I walk, until it's an incomprehensible mess of madness, making no sense at all. I clench my fist, angry at myself for allowing a stranger to affect me so much. I reach home and head straight to the wine rack. Alcohol has been my trusted companion for some time now. I plonk down on my couch and switch on the TV, deciding that I'd rather watch people dance terribly than think about Edward.
It's day two at my office and nothing's changed. Well, Edward looks a little hotter than yesterday. He's not staring at me though. I'm slightly disappointed at that. My eyes steal glances of him as he works. He's impeccably dressed, like yesterday. A dark blue shirt embraces his body, stretched near his shoulders. His blonde hair is swept sideways. A few unruly strands form a golden rainbow as they fall loosely to his eyebrows. The eyes that radiated intensity yesterday look calm but focused. His square face sports a short, sparse beard running halfway through his jawline. For all my fears about getting into a relationship, there's a primal, basic, animalistic attraction towards him. My mind goes to very dark and hot places before I reign it back and turn to work.
It's almost evening when I go through a file of a divorced woman who's not getting child support money. It's been months since she received a dollar. It's already been marked 'assigned' so I won't handle the case but I want to know more.
"Martha, you're handling... Jenny, Jenny Hoffman's case?" I ask.
"Nope. Never heard the name," she replies.
"That's my case," Edward says. I turn to him and now he's looking at me.
"I... I just wanted to know a few more details. I was going through the file and..." my voice trails off when he walks straight up to my desk. He drags a chair and sits right in front of me, on the other side of the table.
"What do you want to know?" he asks.
"I wanted to know more about the family, that's all," I say trying to sound as normal as possible.
He goes on to explain the entire case, in detail, professionally. I relax and we talk about the case for about an hour. It's been a strictly-business type of talk and yet as he stands up to go back, I want him back. Back in front of me. He takes his seat and I look up at the clock. It's almost time for me to leave. As I get up Edward says:
"I'm going to their place tomorrow. You can join me."
I don't think my eyes have sparkled like this in a while. Not only do I want to be with him for a longer time, I also want to see and talk to Ms. Hoffman.
"Yes. I would love that," I say, enthusiasm in my voice.
As I head home today, a few barriers have been broken. I want to know Edward more. I like him.
The next evening, after work, Edward and I go over to Ms. Hoffman's place and talk about what exactly needs to be done. Edward's voice has changed. It's not gruff anymore, it's more sympathetic. His words echo that as well.
"Everything will be taken care of Ms. Hoffman. You need not even enter the court premises," he says, his voice clear, but the tone indicating that he understands her problem. The sun is setting as we leave her place and he offers to drive me home. I ask him if he can drop me to the office instead. My fears are taking over again. I don't know if I want him to know where I live, just yet. He agrees and we drive back to the office. I go in to collect my bag. Everyone seems to have gone home for the day and as I come out, he's still there, leaning against his car, hands in his pockets, looking sideways towards the road. Last rays of the sun fall on his back, gifting me a wonderful view of his silhouette. As I pass him, he smiles. It's not professional at all. I blush furiously and walk faster.
The next day, Edward seems to have taken leave of his professionalism altogether. I feel his eyes roaming... all over me. He's unabashedly gawking at me and I like it. I clench my thighs as moisture gathers between my legs. I adjust myself just a little on the chair and I hear him chuckle. I don't want to look up at him. I try to get back to work but I know he's looking. I know what he wants. I hope he doesn't know I want it just as bad as him.
