To Heal

Author's Note: I recommend you read the first chapter before this. And a word of caution about the first chapter itself. It does not have any BDSM content.

*****

"In my room. Naked, on your knees, hands behind your ass Catherine. Now."

"Yes, Edward."

I walk into the room, my heart racing. He follows me and stops at the door. I turn to him and undress, the cold of the winter's night embracing me. As I kneel and put my hands back, he leaves. Moments later, he returns without a shirt, dragging an office chair behind him. He places it in front of me and walks to the case behind me. I hear the sound of a latch being opened and closed. The bright white lights go off and an orange light replaces it. He closes the door and sits on the chair. A dim orange hue settles in the room as he runs his hands on the leather of the crop. I look at his face and I see a change. The eyes that sparkled like an ocean look dead. There's no smile. The man who looked cute minutes ago, looks sinister.

"I don't want to tie you. Can you be still?" he asks. The voice is different as well. It's quieter, harsher. A hoarseness has crept into his voice.

"Yes," I reply.

"Five on each," he says, tapping the leather twice on each nipple.

"Count them for me," he adds.

I nod my head and he leans towards me, flicking my nipples with the crop and as our eyes lock, I feel the first hit on my left breast. It's not painful but a long lost warmness spreads through me.

"One," I say and just as I finish he strikes again, exactly where he had the first time. He's a little harder this time and it pains just a little.

"Two."

The third time though, the leather lands right on my nipple and I bite my lip and look down. He waits for me.

"Three," I say after a few seconds.

Four and five strike my nipple harder and I scream in pain. He isn't sympathetic to my noises. Soon, the crop is thrashing my right tit. No warm up shots this time. Every smack is harder than the previous. I shut my eyes tight and count for him. My breasts are on fire screeching for mercy and yet I don't want him to stop. When a meek "five" escapes my mouth, he stops.

I open my eyes to see him stand up and push the chair away. He places the crop on the bed and kneels in front of me. He leans in and as I close my eyes, I get a kiss on each one.

"You are one brave girl," he says.

He reaches for my hands and places them on my thighs.

"You can hold?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Thank you for trusting me," he says and he strokes the bottom of my ass with his left hand as his right reaches for my breast, caressing my sore nipple.

"You looked so hot, kneeling like that, Catherine. Your boobs turning redder with every strike," he says and his hand moves to my pussy, his fingers stroking my opening. I let my head fall on his shoulders and his left hand snakes its way to the nape of my neck. One finger enters me and I moan into his shoulders. My ear is gifted with kisses and bites as he fucks me with his finger. His other hand massages my neck.

"Do you know your cunt glistens when you're wet?" he asks. His choice of words and another finger push me closer towards an orgasm.

"Wider," he says, tapping the insides of the thighs. I obey, moving my knees further apart. His knees move back just a little and he leans in to support my head. His hand doesn't return to my pussy and just as I begin to wonder why, his hand strikes my pussy. I shout and he rewards me with another hit. The tender lips of my pussy burn but I'm hungry for more.

"Just say stop if you want me to," he whispers in my ear.

"Please, don't," I say and as soon as I finish he strikes again. I bite his shoulders but he doesn't seem to notice. I lose count as his hand slaps my pussy faster and harder. I quiver and tremble but he holds me. Each hit leaves a fresh area burning. Tears form on my face. He holds me firmly behind my neck and delivers one sharp smack and does not move his hand away. I begin to sob, tears now freely flowing. He's provoking pain and holding me captive at the very edge of what I can take. The pain is real but delightful.

"Is this what you wanted?" he asks. I don't have the energy to process or reply and he strikes again.

"Yes... Yes, this is what I want. Please give me more," I beg, my voice muffled. He accompanies a gentle bite to my ear with a firm smack to my pussy and my legs start to shiver. He stops the assault and gently traps my clit between his fingers.

"Come," he whispers in my ear, pressing my clit just a little and my body, caught in a spell, obeys instantly. I come on his hands and almost fall but he holds me. I am still lost as he helps me stand up and carries me to the bed. We lay down and I slowly recover, my breathing still heavy. He wipes tears off my face gives me a kiss on each eye again. I get a peck on my nose as well.

"That one's complimentary," he says and wipes sweat off my forehead.

"You cried, Catherine. We need a safe word" he says.

"I cry very quickly. It's a thing with me. And my safe word, I think, will be Anya," I reply turning to him with a huge smile.

"Great. Who's Anya?"

"The warrior god-woman girl," I say, surprised that he doesn't recognize the name. He looks at me and lets out a chuckle.

"Enyo, not Anya. E...N...Y...O, Enyo," he says.

"Well, her. And it's not polite to laugh at other's mistakes," I say, not offended at all.

"Sorry but that can't be it. I don't want you confused when you want me to stop. How about cinnamon?"

"Cinnamon," I say and roll on top of him. He's still hard. I kiss him and he puts his hands round me.

"I'm not your sub. Right?" I ask.

"Correct."

"I have a request."

"Yes."

"Don't touch me until you come."

He looks at me with suspicion but removes his hands from my back and rests them on the bed. I thank him with a quick kiss and begin to go down on him. As I kiss his neck, his cock twitches between my legs. I just push my hips harder into his cock and continue to go down. His chest rises and falls as I nibble it. Yanking his shorts down, I kiss the crown of his cock, my lips meeting his pre cum. He grunts and almost touches my head with his hands but stops. I smile and continue to kiss his head but my tongue doesn't meet his cock.

"Catherine," he groans, his voice very low.

"One more thing, don't talk either," I say, reveling in my new found control.

He just closes his eyes and I resume my tease, kissing his cock and balls. I take the skin of his sack between my teeth and bite lightly. He bangs his hand on the bed and I suck him. My tongue caresses his cock as I fondle his sack. When I finally take him in my mouth, I hear him groan. As I suck his cock, I can feel his hand hovering above my head but he doesn't touch. I suck him in long strokes, swirling my tongue and he freezes as he comes. Before I can suck him off, he grabs my hair and yanks my head up.

"I came," he says as and the last strings of his cum hit my chin.

I scoot up and lie on him as his cum makes its way down my neck. He kisses me and his finger sweeps up the cum and he offers it to me. I suck it off, taking more time than necessary. He grins when I let go of his finger.

"You are two girls; you know that?" he asks.

"Two girls?" I ask, confused.

"I met the first girl at the office. Beautiful, shy, reserved. I wanted to know more about that girl. Today I met the hot, sexy and dirty beyond my dreams girl. I want to tie her up and make her weep asking for more."

"So, I wasn't sexy at the office?" I tease him.

"You know what I mean."

"I know. Dirty me has another request though."

"Shoot."

"Whenever I suck you, I want control. I do it however I want to and for as long as I want to."

"You're asking me to submit."

"We don't have tags, remember? And I don't want to inflict pain. I just want control, temporarily."

He looks at me. He's thinking. I want him to understand. So, I continue.

"Look, shy me wouldn't say this but since you were ungentlemanly and called me dirty, I'll tell you. I like sucking your cock and I want to do it my way."

He looks at me for a while and then responds.

"Ok," he says, smiling. I kiss his chest and roll off of him. Sleep embraces me as I embrace Edward.

The next day, I wake up to find Edward talking on the phone to someone in the hall. I look at him through the door as I sit up. He's already dressed in a faded grey T-shirt and black jeans. When he turns he waves at me. I wave back smiling at him and go to the bathroom. When I return, he's still talking. I wear yesterday's clothes and join him as he ends the call.

"Good morning," I say.

"Good morning," he says and kisses me.

We go to my home for a change of clothes. As we head to my bedroom he asks:

"Can I pick your clothes for today?"

I open my cupboard and sit on the bed.

"What are we doing?" he asks, going through my clothes.

"I was hoping you would teach me to paint," I say.

"Paint?"

"My therapist said that I should try to learn new skills. You seem to be Picasso's third cousin."

"You have a therapist?"

"Had one. After the divorce, I thought talking to someone might help. It did not."

He stops looking at the clothes and bends down to kiss me. I like his impulsiveness. I like the fact he stops doing things and turns to me. My mind takes a few steps too far into the future before I reign it back in. Fingers snap in front of my eyes and I realize he's stopped kissing and he's looking at me, perplexed.

"Lost?" he asks.

"For a moment." I say.

"Thank you," I add.

His brows shoot upwards.

"I was scared to talk to you at first. The... I couldn't forget the things he did to me and I was scared that you... that something similar would happen with us as well. So, thank you for understanding and accepting whatever we have now," I say. He makes me feel safe, beautiful, hot, dirty and so much more. I want him to know how much it means to me.

He just kisses my forehead and turns back to the cupboard. And I now like how he responds with the simplest of gestures.

"Breakfast and back to my place?"

"Yes," I respond.

He pulls out the draw where I keep my panties. Suddenly, I realize what he might find there and just before I jump, he turns to me, beaming, my vibrator in his hand. My cheeks become warm and I look down.

"Would you look at my girl blush," he says.

My girl. That's what he said. My heart does a hundred somersaults before I look up. He just places the vibrator beside me and closes the draw. He picks out a leaf green, knee length dress and hands it to me.

"Wear it," he says and I begin to undress.

"You haven't given me any bra or panties," I say, once completely naked.

"You are correct."

I wear the dress, suddenly self-conscious. My nipples push out against the fabric. He comes close to me and stares into my eyes. I am lost again but a harsh flick to my protruding nipple brings me right back.

"Ow," I shout. He responds by flicking again. My hand reaches out to his. He stops me.

"Hands on my shoulders," he says. I obey and flicks again. And again. I stomp my legs on the ground but he's deaf. He slides his hand below my dress and his fingers grip my nipple.

"Use your safe word generously today," he says and I nod.

The fingers clasping my nipple begin to press down, slowly at first. The pressure increases and so does my pain. When he twists my nipple harshly, I shout.

"Fuck..."

He doesn't relent. The grip only tightens and I clutch his shirt and kick my feet to the bed. He loosens only to tighten his grip again with more pressure.

"God, Edward," I say and drop my head. Within no time, his left hand grips my hair and he pulls my head up with force.

He lets go of my nipple and pulls his hand out of my dress only for it to wander down and slide below my dress again. He runs his hand brashly on the insides of my right thigh. My juices meet him well below my pussy and he smiles as he rubs and spreads it. I shiver when fingers touch my pussy, probing my folds. Not once does a finger slide in me. My nipple burning, I am subjected to a tease, his finger kissing my clit, stroking my opening until I start to beg.

"Please..."

"Please what?" he asks, skimming my clit.

"Please fuck me," I say shamelessly and he shoves two fingers in me.

"Not so quickly, Catherine. Not so easily," he says, rubbing his thumb on my clit before deserting my pussy. He loosens his grip on my hair and strokes my head and offers his wet hand to my mouth. I suck his fingers diligently, holding his wrist with both my hands before he denies me that pleasure as well, pulling his hand away. I frown at him only to draw a smirk from his face.

"I wanted to wait till evening. You've inspired me otherwise. Can breakfast wait?" he asks.

"Yes, yes it can," I reply. Pain is what I crave for and he seems to want to give it to me. Thoughts of hunger flew away when he flicked my nipple the first time.

"Good girl. Undress for me" he says and I obey without wasting a second. He runs his hand between my tits before cupping my right breast and giving it a gentle squeeze. His hand runs throughout my body, stopping briefly from time to time, as if picking out targets. He turns me around and the inspection continues. A small stop at my ass, behind my knees and he seems to be satisfied.

"Flawless," he whispers in my ear from behind me and follows it up with a light bite to my earlobe.

He turns me around so that I face him. He pulls me in for a kiss and I don't even know why. I just kiss him back like my life depends on it. A short trip through the lanes of pain and tease has me begging for more. Our tongues dance their dance as one hand wanders around my back while the other caresses my cheek. My hands explore as well. The damned shirt doesn't stop me from running my hands on his chest, feeling his muscles. I try to slowly sneak a hand down to his pant and he pulls away.

"Not yet," he says and walks to my cupboard again. He fishes out my sleeping mask and I gasp. This, I did not expect. He hands them to me.

"Wear it," he says. Darkness engulfs my vision and I yelp when he sweeps me off the ground, carrying me in his arms. I hear him grin and soon he lays me down on the edge of the bed. I hear pillows fluffing.

"Turn around," he says. I turn around so that my ass faces him. He lifts my head gently and places a pillow. Another pillow takes its place underneath my pussy, raising my ass higher. I hear the cupboard open. A few seconds later the doors close, magnets pulling them together.

"Hands above your head."

I extend my arms and they hit the wall. He holds them and brings them back to just above my head. I feel a smooth cloth binding my wrists together.

"Keep me in your thoughts baby, I'll be back," he says.

It takes a few moments for me to process it. He's gone. I lie there, excitement and anxiety warring inside me. I hear the gate creek and I panic. I don't know when he's coming back. Before my brain crashes itself from the stress, I hear the gate again. He's got something from the car. The door opens and closes and I feel him in the room again. I don't know where exactly he is, but he's here. I wait for him to touch me but he doesn't. I stay quiet and so does he. He's looking at me. From where, I don't know. Probably from the door. I lift my ass up just a little to tease him and slap!

"Fuck," I shout. He wasn't near the door.

He didn't hit me with his hand. I don't know what struck me but it strikes my ass again. He isn't being kind with whatever he's holding.

"Ruler, Catherine," he says.

The next blow lands just below my ass and I scream. The pain is far more than what I expected. And yet the pillow below me is getting wet. I try to lift my leg but he stops me with his hand. The swats go lower and lower but the intensity does not. I writhe, sounds of pain and delight escaping my mouth. I feel his hand grip my left ankle and move it away from the right. The insides of my thigh receive the next few swats and bring tears. An attempt to turn around is easily thwarted by a hand on my back while the blows continue. The face mask gets wetter with each spank.

A string of "fuck, fuck, fuck" escape my mouth, drowned and masked by sobs. He stops and only sound in the room is that of my muffled, teary breathing. Slowly, the heat of the spanks transforms into a low burning sensation. I feel the tip of a finger brush the very end of my pussy.

"Oh god, please," I moan. I don't want to be teased now. I want him to take me but the merciless torture doesn't stop. He runs his hand along the length of my core until he reaches the pillow. Harshness is replaced by delicacy. His fingers fondle me in a most exquisite way, opening my folds, entering me momentarily before pulling back again. He seems to have knelt down beside the bed as I feel his mouth on the side of my ass, kissing me. I squirm when he runs his tongue on the flesh. A finger finally enters deep inside me. The walls of my pussy hug his finger and he starts to turn and twist his finger. I bang my legs on the bed and he responds by fucking my sloppy pussy with two fingers in long, deep strokes while still tonguing my ass. I resort to pleading.

"Please let me cum," I beg and he stops.

"Turn around," he says and helps me do so.

The pillows are removed and he makes me sit. My back rests on his hand when he kisses me. I am hungry. I dart my tongue in, trying to suck as much pleasure as possible before he pulls away again. He entertains me for a while as I explore his mouth. His hand moves to my breast, cupping and squeezing it.

"Hands above your head. And move back," he says and I obey. My back is greeted with a pillow and I have no contact with him for a few seconds. He returns, opening my legs wide and folding them so that the back of my feet touches my ass. Standing beside me, he runs his hand down my inner thigh, coming ever so close to my core but not making contact. I try to lower my hands and he slams them right back to the wall. His mouth kisses my left breast and moments later, I feel something on my pussy and I hold my breath. It's my vibrator and it's turned off. He rubs it up and down my cunt. He stops at my clit and the vibrator buzzes to life. I moan and open my legs wider as the speed of the machine changes at random. He presses it harder and I lift my hips, hungry for more. With the vibrator on high, he rubs it over my pussy, outlining it. I squirm under his control. The mouth on my breast starts biting the flesh gently. My toy hums its way inside my cunt until it is completely in. He bites my nipple and I surrender to the pleasure completely as his hand begins to fondle my clit. I can't hold it anymore and I come, throwing my head back, only to hit the wall. I hardly notice it. I am trembling and almost shouting.

I don't know how long I take to recover but he removes the vibrator as I regain my breath. The eye mask comes off next and I wait for my kiss and sure enough, I get it. I open my eyes to see him smiling at me. I reach out and kiss him. When I let go, I rub my hand over the spot on my head where I hit the wall.

"Violent orgasm, huh?" he says, grinning as he unties my hand. I laugh with him. He rearranges the pillows and lays me down, brushing a few strands behind my ear. My ass hurts and feels good at the same time.

"Will you lie down with me for a while?" I ask.

"Of course I will," he says and gets in bed with me.

A kiss to my mouth, a peck on my nose and I am as happy as a kid in a toy store. I hug him and decide that I am not letting this man get away, ever.