First off, thank you for reading this. It really wasn't a story I felt like continuing, the over all opinion of the first chapter is that it didn't have enough build up. Hopefully now readers will understand why I wanted to start with a sexual encounter.
This is also a first person perspective as all the rest of my work.
Thank you to the sexy C for his "stalker talk" advice.
Sin xoxo
Monica
My hands won't stop shaking as I pull up in my driveway, my breath is panting out like I ran the whole way home. I suppose that's that now. I won't be going back to that gym, no matter how much it hurts it's time to let go and leave it's time to add finding another one to my huge list of to do's.
Shaking my head I grab my bag and head inside, I know my mum is still going to be up and it will be my last chance to talk to her tonight before I head to work, I don't want her to worry over me. I calm myself the best I can as I walk up the steps stopping to collect our mail on the way. Shit more bills, always more bills my wages barely cover everything as it is. I'm going to need a plan or some fast cash to get us out of our slide to bankruptcy.
Deep down I know what I have to do. It's the last thing in my life I ever thought I would sink to. To me it will be as bad as selling myself on the street corner. The level of disgust in myself for even considering it is hitting a all time high. I'm going to have to do private dances. Rub my body all over strange men. Feel their breath on me, even their hands maybe. The whole idea has me shuddering in my skin. Being up on stage isn't so bad most nights and the members of the club are mostly respectable. They keep the cat calls and dirty comments to a minimum not wanting to face the wrath of the club's head enforcer, Seth my friend Dee's boyfriend. He is extremely over protective of his girl and everyone important to her including me. The day she rang me up crying about him on the phone and I offered her my granddad's cabin for the night changed my life.
That day I lost my job. That day my mum was told her cancer was back. She spent 5 years free. I should have spent more time with her, I should have taken her on a cruise ship, to see the pyramids. Anything to make that 5 years special. I wasted the time instead trying to crawl my way up the ladder of a failing company. To concerned about a career and stability, something neither of my parents had. My dad would personal train guys for cash, he pedaled steroid's and performance enhancing drugs on the side and my mum would clean houses on rental exits. They both grew to resent the other and it made my childhood even more bitter then it had to be. We were poor, trailer park poor.
I grew up to resent the life they had, that I was forced to live because of their fuck ups., I made myself the promise of my career would come before everything else because a career offered stability. Look how they turned out, my mothers dying and I'm going to have to sell my body to be able to keep a roof over her head. Fuck my life.
I head inside, calling out as I go. Listing to my mum ramble on about her home help nurse. I fix us both a snack and sit down across from her at the table to pick on mine.
"Was that boy at the gym again?" Her words have me flinching in my chair. It was the worst mistake of my life even mentioning the cute guy at the gym to my mother. I thought after years of marriage to my dad she would have thought it was a good idea. Instead she jumped down my throat and ripped me to shreds. Laid out ever single one of my dad and the men like he was faults. The list accumulated to be of epic proportions and if I dare to disagree she ignores me for days. Much like she used to do over my very first boyfriend I met at that same gym.
I lie I'm not proud of it but the last thing I need is for her to throw a version of a tantrum that will delay me heading to work, her medications and sleeping. "No, I didn't see him at the gym." It's always best when lying to her to keep my response to a minimum and move the subject along.
I stand from the table and grab the plates and head back to the kitchen calling out around the corner. "So did your nurse bring you another book today?" This is my one fail safe way of changing the subject. My mother loves romance novels, the trasher the better. She will read them over and over until the covers fall apart and random pages stick together.
"Oh yes she did, so far it's wonderful." She then starts to go into her own personal review of the book listing all the highlights and things she will change following me into the bedroom as I pack my bag for work. I shuffle her back to her bed tuck her in and put her three current books beside her.
I make my way across town relatively fast and end up the first dancer here which is perfect for me, I need Loretta's unconditional attention for a short while. Heading down the stairs to the office I softly knock on the door hoping as I hold my breath I'm not interrupting the couple on the other side. Both of them very much in love with each other are frequently caught by staff making their own kinky kind of love all over the club, and the odd time in public.
"Come in." Loretta's perky voice calls out. Not a day of knowing her has she ever showed me a nasty side. I seriously don't believe she has one to be honest. Life was pretty fucked up for me but from what I've been told about hers makes me thank god for it.
Opening the door a crack I poke my head in to see Loretta perched in Miki's lap.
"Hi, you got a second to talk?" I grin at the loved up pair. Seeing the two of them gives me hope for myself one day.
"For you Miss Monica we always have time." Miki's voice holds that sensual note that leads me to think I have interrupted.
"OK, as long as your sure. I umm, I need more money. Can you put me on the lap dance list?" I blurt out before nerves take me.
"Are you sure honey? I know you don't want to go that far, we can lend you the money if you need it that bad. I don't want you doing anything you aren't comfortable with." Loretta reaches across the desk to touch my hand in comfort, sympathy seaping from her eyes.
"No, no, its fine really, I need to do it this way, I don't feel comfortable with taking money off you guys, I don't know when I'd be able to pay it back. Besides its to much, you guys have done to much for me already." It's true they have, they helped me find a reasonable priced home help company and gave me a job, they even pay my gym membership to keep me in shape.
"How about a auction? For a one night only dance?" Miki suggests. "We can type up a flyer for the members right now and Seth can pass them out on the door."
I sit and think about it for a minute, the idea is a lot more appealing then the thought of having to do regular lap dances, but I don't see how it will get me enough money. I broach that as the only flaw. "Umm, but it's only one dance. That's not going to be enough money."
They both look at each other than at me, Loretta giggles and Miki chuckles.
