I pull my jacket closer around myself stepping back out into the dark alley behind one of my workplaces. Waiting for him, hoping to feel him like I used to. I look over my shoulder it feels like I live with my eyes facing behind me now knowing what's in the dark.
I really should start at the beginning...
To be honest, completely honest I'm really nothing special a middle-aged, mentally and physically scarred, divorced woman with a stalker. A stalker that fills my dreams.
The week my husband ran off with the neighbourhood whore my life took a downward spiral. Unbeknownst to me for the last six months, he hadn't paid a single one of our bills. Saving all my hard-earned wages and what little money he contributed to his leaving me fund. The horror of not only losing him but the house and being threatened with bankruptcy would have been enough alone to make any person think about suicide. Add the fact that he got that cunt pregnant and refused to even attempt to with me broke me.
Throw in some strange feelings of being watched all the time and you kinda understand the way I was feeling the desperation to find stability and the need to be wanted, to be someone's be all and end all that I thought I was to my husband, to feel like I had a purpose again.
Being kidnapped was the highlight of my life...
*******
Two weeks earlier
"Fuck Mon's I dunno, my load is pretty huge," I grunt out trying to struggle my way down the footpath with my industrial vacuum. Chatting on the phone to my boss she's always asking me to pick up more slack with the company. We have had 3 cleaners leave in the last month and I'd already just taken on another two sites. What was meant to be a part-time job to help me pay back bills had turned into a full-time job with above average pay, I truly liked my boss, we had become close friends when she found out the situation my X had left me in she even helped me find my rental house.
"Please Dee, please? You know I'll be your bestest friend in the world." Mon's laughs out down the phone knowing she's already got me.
"You already are you stupid cow," I grunt out heaving the vac in the back of my work van. "Before you finish dumping a load on me and running off to play happy families for the weekend. Has the lighting at the Daycare been fixed? It's really fucking dark and I can swear someone's watching me. I can smell ciggy smoke most nights too." The Daycare I was talking about back onto a lot of bush and it was a strange set up, one big open yard and all the different age group rooms off it. I had to walk out of each room and turn my back to the dark to lock up before moving on to the next room. I know someone is watching me every time I do. I feel an urgent need to get the lights fixed, I mean like before tonight. Each night had been getting progressively worse the feeling of being on edge like if I don't move fast enough one of those shadows will snatch me away. That and the calls and "presents" left on my doorstep has me freaking out. Laughing to myself I shake my head at my silliness. Scared of the dark at 37 who would have known.
"Umm about that Dee... Well, the handyman said it looks like the wires are cut. I dropped a big flashlight for tonight off. It will be fixed over the weekend. Promise.. you still getting weird calls? Anymore notes?" Mon's mumbles clearly stuffing her face now on the other end of the phone.
Sighing I rub my eyes. "Yeah, I got another gift yesterday a box of lingerie, really pretty stuff for what a wackjob would pick."
"I know you're gonna hate me saying this after how they treated you when Nick did his vanishing act but you got to go to the cops now girl. You need to let them know some freaks hassling you."
Listing with half an ear I cram my key in the van and crank it over. "I promise I'll go today. I'm in the van I've got three more jobs but I'll fit it in." Smirking knowing Mon's will be feeling extra guilty right about now and I'm loving it.
After heavily gulping Mon's blurts out "Take an extra half-hour break and get it done babes. You need to stay safe. Text me later." She's gone before I say bye already most likely on to the next staffing issue.
I know I should go to the cops but I know how much work I still have to do and that tomorrow is a lighter day. I'll think about it then I promise myself. Ok, so the police fobbed me off as a jealous wife when I tried to track down Nick. They told me leaving me isn't enough for them to find him. Maybe I should have gone to them about all the domestic abuse, something I had need help for then. But as always I had wanted no one's help but my own and I never really could help myself.
Putting the police out of my mind I stop back home to get changed before my next job, running up the front step I stop in my tracks seeing another envelope sticking out of the door. Scrunching my face up I rip it out and stuff it in my pocket, I'll read it later. Late at night... yeah, they are kinky. Usually, it describes what He would do if he gets me. The stuff that makes my clit ache, my toes curl and has me whimpering like a lost puppy into my pillow. How can someone I don't know talk to me like that? Better yet why do I love reading lines like "I'd spread your little cunt open and shove my tongue as far inside as I can? Scream my name while you ride my face. I need your pussy juice coating my face." The dark ones I get are the best I have to admit. The ones where he says things like "I'm going to strap you down and fuck your ass. Spank you raw and take what's mine. That pussy belongs to me... you belong to me, Dee."
Shaking my head at myself I rush inside and throw a frozen dinner in the microwave, stripping out of my work clothes on the way to the bathroom off my bedroom. Pausing mid-step the box from yesterday morning sitting on my bedside table catches my attention. Lifting the lid I pull out the plainest black bra and panties.. what can it hurt not like anyone will ever know I wore a gift brought from a stalker. I deserve to feel sexy for once, I talk myself up. Maybe I should wear makeup to, I can get changed again at the daycare maybe hit a pub or a night club have a few drinks drag Mon's out. Yeah, that sounds fun, my mindset I rummage around and find a little black dress to stuff in my already overflowing bag along with a pair of ballet flats. I love heels but after a night on my feet, I can't wear them. Texting Mon's while I stuff my soggy dinner in my mouth I ask her to meet me at the local bar later. I jump a quick shower and I'm out the door my note forgotten about.
2 jobs and 6 hours later I'm at the daycare. I whipped around collecting all the rubbish to take out before it's dark. Dumping them in the bin I stop for a couple of puffs off my vape, I quit smoking years ago but I still needed a little nicotine hit now and then. Stretching my back out I run my fingers through my hair, feeling that familiar prickle across the back of my neck, I look around seeing nothing I hurry my way back into my last job for the night time zips by and before I know it I'm almost done.
