To Be His...

I pull my jacket closer around myself stepping back out into the dark alley behind one of my workplaces. Waiting for him, hoping to feel him like I used to. I look over my shoulder it feels like I live with my eyes facing behind me now knowing what's in the dark.

I really should start at the beginning...

To be honest, completely honest I'm really nothing special a middle-aged, mentally and physically scarred, divorced woman with a stalker. A stalker that fills my dreams.

The week my husband ran off with the neighbourhood whore my life took a downward spiral. Unbeknownst to me for the last six months, he hadn't paid a single one of our bills. Saving all my hard-earned wages and what little money he contributed to his leaving me fund. The horror of not only losing him but the house and being threatened with bankruptcy would have been enough alone to make any person think about suicide. Add the fact that he got that cunt pregnant and refused to even attempt to with me broke me.

Throw in some strange feelings of being watched all the time and you kinda understand the way I was feeling the desperation to find stability and the need to be wanted, to be someone's be all and end all that I thought I was to my husband, to feel like I had a purpose again.

Being kidnapped was the highlight of my life...

*******

Two weeks earlier

"Fuck Mon's I dunno, my load is pretty huge," I grunt out trying to struggle my way down the footpath with my industrial vacuum. Chatting on the phone to my boss she's always asking me to pick up more slack with the company. We have had 3 cleaners leave in the last month and I'd already just taken on another two sites. What was meant to be a part-time job to help me pay back bills had turned into a full-time job with above average pay, I truly liked my boss, we had become close friends when she found out the situation my X had left me in she even helped me find my rental house.

"Please Dee, please? You know I'll be your bestest friend in the world." Mon's laughs out down the phone knowing she's already got me.

"You already are you stupid cow," I grunt out heaving the vac in the back of my work van. "Before you finish dumping a load on me and running off to play happy families for the weekend. Has the lighting at the Daycare been fixed? It's really fucking dark and I can swear someone's watching me. I can smell ciggy smoke most nights too." The Daycare I was talking about back onto a lot of bush and it was a strange set up, one big open yard and all the different age group rooms off it. I had to walk out of each room and turn my back to the dark to lock up before moving on to the next room. I know someone is watching me every time I do. I feel an urgent need to get the lights fixed, I mean like before tonight. Each night had been getting progressively worse the feeling of being on edge like if I don't move fast enough one of those shadows will snatch me away. That and the calls and "presents" left on my doorstep has me freaking out. Laughing to myself I shake my head at my silliness. Scared of the dark at 37 who would have known.

"Umm about that Dee... Well, the handyman said it looks like the wires are cut. I dropped a big flashlight for tonight off. It will be fixed over the weekend. Promise.. you still getting weird calls? Anymore notes?" Mon's mumbles clearly stuffing her face now on the other end of the phone.

Sighing I rub my eyes. "Yeah, I got another gift yesterday a box of lingerie, really pretty stuff for what a wackjob would pick."

"I know you're gonna hate me saying this after how they treated you when Nick did his vanishing act but you got to go to the cops now girl. You need to let them know some freaks hassling you."

Listing with half an ear I cram my key in the van and crank it over. "I promise I'll go today. I'm in the van I've got three more jobs but I'll fit it in." Smirking knowing Mon's will be feeling extra guilty right about now and I'm loving it.

After heavily gulping Mon's blurts out "Take an extra half-hour break and get it done babes. You need to stay safe. Text me later." She's gone before I say bye already most likely on to the next staffing issue.

I know I should go to the cops but I know how much work I still have to do and that tomorrow is a lighter day. I'll think about it then I promise myself. Ok, so the police fobbed me off as a jealous wife when I tried to track down Nick. They told me leaving me isn't enough for them to find him. Maybe I should have gone to them about all the domestic abuse, something I had need help for then. But as always I had wanted no one's help but my own and I never really could help myself.

Putting the police out of my mind I stop back home to get changed before my next job, running up the front step I stop in my tracks seeing another envelope sticking out of the door. Scrunching my face up I rip it out and stuff it in my pocket, I'll read it later. Late at night... yeah, they are kinky. Usually, it describes what He would do if he gets me. The stuff that makes my clit ache, my toes curl and has me whimpering like a lost puppy into my pillow. How can someone I don't know talk to me like that? Better yet why do I love reading lines like "I'd spread your little cunt open and shove my tongue as far inside as I can? Scream my name while you ride my face. I need your pussy juice coating my face." The dark ones I get are the best I have to admit. The ones where he says things like "I'm going to strap you down and fuck your ass. Spank you raw and take what's mine. That pussy belongs to me... you belong to me, Dee."

Shaking my head at myself I rush inside and throw a frozen dinner in the microwave, stripping out of my work clothes on the way to the bathroom off my bedroom. Pausing mid-step the box from yesterday morning sitting on my bedside table catches my attention. Lifting the lid I pull out the plainest black bra and panties.. what can it hurt not like anyone will ever know I wore a gift brought from a stalker. I deserve to feel sexy for once, I talk myself up. Maybe I should wear makeup to, I can get changed again at the daycare maybe hit a pub or a night club have a few drinks drag Mon's out. Yeah, that sounds fun, my mindset I rummage around and find a little black dress to stuff in my already overflowing bag along with a pair of ballet flats. I love heels but after a night on my feet, I can't wear them. Texting Mon's while I stuff my soggy dinner in my mouth I ask her to meet me at the local bar later. I jump a quick shower and I'm out the door my note forgotten about.

2 jobs and 6 hours later I'm at the daycare. I whipped around collecting all the rubbish to take out before it's dark. Dumping them in the bin I stop for a couple of puffs off my vape, I quit smoking years ago but I still needed a little nicotine hit now and then. Stretching my back out I run my fingers through my hair, feeling that familiar prickle across the back of my neck, I look around seeing nothing I hurry my way back into my last job for the night time zips by and before I know it I'm almost done.

Stepping out into the dark I flick my heavy-duty flashlight Mon's left for me on and still stumble over my feet it the epic darkness on my way back to the van. I grab my clothes and head for the disabled toilet. Locking the door behind me I quickly change and fluff my pixie cut I like to keep my hair short. Long hair means something my X used to use to force me to do his bidding with it wrapped around his fist. I guess I could change that now he was gone but truth be told something's are better off the way they are. It was short simple, and I thought cute and suited my face.

Stepping out I flicked the torch on gasping when it lights up the form of a large man standing Infront of me.

"Hello Sweetness, I'm glad you came." Muttered in a dark growling voice. My pussy clamped on nothing at the depth of his tone, my mind stuttered to run and the whole time my stupid body was frozen in place.

A cloth is shoved over my face followed by a sickly sweet smell and blank, terrifying darkness. My man in the shadows caught me as I fell.

********

My eyes flicker and I squint around. I'm in the back of my van my hands and feet bound behind my back my face pressing into the non-slip mat. I try to kick and scream to struggle against the rope cutting into my wrist. Trying to knock things over to make some noise if I make noise maybe somebody will hear it. Oh, please god someone hear me I scream in my own mind. I don't want to die I don't want to be tortured at the hands of this man. Why me?!

I must have faded back out again the next time my eyes open I'm upright dangling. My legs spread my arms suspended to the open rafters of a basement. Looking around and twisting and turning pulling at my restraints, I try to get my fuzzy brain to work, to try to figure a way out of this mess. Screaming in frustration, I shake my head it's no good. I can't get down and all my pulling on the cuffs has just left my hands and wrist cut open.

"Now now sweetness what's that struggling for.. you agreed to this." That dark, deep voice flows out of the darkness behind me, wrapping around me, sending goosebumps all over my skin. Making me look down and check to see if my dress was still on. Yep still there.

Wait what did he say? I agreed to this what the living fuck? When did I agree to become his personal pinata? Looking over my shoulder, I yell "Are you fucking crazy? let me down you crazy fuck. I didn't agree to your crazy fucking shit." I twist and turn trying to put as much distance between me and the huge shape of a man approaching me.

"I left you a note sweetness." I can hear the smirk in his voice.

My soul hits my feet. I kid you not all the blood in my body left my head, and I wobbled in place. This guy is nuts. Does he think some fucking note made me meet him? Is he for real? What have I gotten myself into now? Oh god, oh god my brain keeps screaming. I start to struggle my body failing about chest heaving, breath painting I'm on the verge of a meltdown a full-blown lose my mind moment. The touch of strong fingers sliding around my waist from behind, his warmth pressing against me the scrape of his beard on the side of my neck calms me. How is it possible? Why?

My breath still stuttering I blurt out a quick beg. "Please just let me go? I won't tell anyone. I don't even know what you look like. I know nothing about you I'll burn all the letters. I promise. " I almost shout the end as I feel him draw away from me stepping around me, Infront of me. I slam my eyes shut because I can't keep that promise if I look at him.

"Look at me, Dee." He barks out. "There is no more running from me. I want you to see me and remember every minute of what I'm going to do to you."

Hard fingers clamp around my chin forcing my face upwards squeezing hard enough to make me squeal and open my eyes in fright. Looking up, I see a strikingly tanned hard face, dark arched brows, chocolate brown eyes, a slight off centre nose and the fullest lips I've ever seen on a man sinfully so. Add a couple of days of stubble and the man before me is wickedly handsome. Wickedly tall and built from what I could tell from his black t-shirt stretched wide around his large shoulders and chest narrow in the waist tapering down to thick legs wrapped in denim. The type of man who would never look twice and gawky, gangly me, I was self-confessed fat skinny. I had a pudgy stomach, I was only a C cup and my only stand out feature was my too big green eyes and my over plump bum definitely not a leggy, big-boobed, blonde that should hang off his arm at all.

I gasped out "Beautiful." Before I could catch myself. Oh, fuck. Face flaming I drop my head. He's my stalker? Really, the man might be crazy as fuck but he probably walks around all day and has women randomly throwing panties at him. Why couldn't he be butt ugly?

"What did you call me?" The ice in his voice should have let me know I did something wrong. I should have listened to the voice in my head that said don't do it, Dee.

"I said you were beautiful you crazy fuck. Let me down so I can leave already. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but you need serious mental help." I shout out. My whole body has frozen in place in my shocked state unaware of the shit storm coming my way.

"I'm not fucking beautiful." He roars behind me. Hands grasping my dress ripping it off me. Pulling one of my only layers of protection away. Leaving me standing before him shaking in only my bra and panties. Oh, god what did I do?

"You are beautiful sweetness. I'm the darkness that is lurking in the shadows. This body is perfection, It's my light " he growls out his breath blowing against my shoulder. "I'm going to make you scream and cry, cum on my tongue, I'm going to make you beg for my cock and then I'm going to fuck you until you beg me to stop. Over and over."

I stand on my tiptoes legs shaking, so turned on and terrified. I can feel my panties growing damp and my nipples rubbing against the inside of my bra with every panting breath I take. At the last second, I bite my tongue to stop myself moaning. My back arching pushing out what little cleavage I have, instinctively trying to encourage him to touch me even with my mind screaming danger Will Robinson. What's happening to me?

"Look how pretty your tits look in that lace sweetness. You enjoy wearing the pretty shit I picked for you don't you? Almost as much as you love fingering that wet little cunt over my letters in the middle of the night, don't you baby?"

My embarrassment hits an all-time new high. He knows I touch myself over what he writes for me. Could this get any worse? Wait does he expect me to answer him? Fuck no I won't.

A light chuckle brushes against my neck. "No, I didn't think you would admit it. I know you better than that. You think pleasure is dirty that pain is only pain. You are wrong Dee, I'm going to show you how wrong."

I wait in silence. Not making a sound besides my heaving breaths my pulse racing in my ears. I feel nothing until cold air caresses my nipples, making me shudder. The sound of him cutting my bra straps freezes my protest on my lips. Slowly I feel the fabric fall all the way off me.

A sharp inhale has me craning my head watching this gorgeous man look down over my shoulder his front once again pressing into my back. His chest dwarfing me, making me feel all kinds of petite and feminine. The lust in his eyes has my body trying to arch my back to show off my breast and around my shoulders to hide them from him at the same time. My nipples peak and harden under his attention. Groaning as my face flames, I duck my head again wallowing in self misery.

A sharp twisting pain has me jumping in my restraints and focusing my eyes on my tits he pinches them, twisting them harshly. I want to grunt out in pain and gasp in pleasure at the same time. Oh, god it feels good to good my nipples ache my clit is tingly and I'm dripping wet all from just him paying cruel attention to my nipples, If he keeps it up I'll probably cum. Please no I beg my body, don't cum for him.

"I bet that little pussy is dripping cream for me, sweetness. You like it rough your body doesn't lie to me as those sweet lips do." With a harsh growl, he reaches between my legs and rips the flimsy lace away. Clutching it is in his hand he brings the soaking material up to my face. Dragging his thumb across my wetness cling to the fabric. "Well well look at that Dee. Look how drenched you get for me. All that cum and I haven't even started yet." With a dark chuckle, I hear him move off to the back of the room.

A cupboard slams shut making me jump. Heavy footsteps walking up behind me a soft piece of fabric wrapping over my eyes cutting off what little vision I had in the already dim room. My heartbeat keeping a frantic pace in my chest, my mouth going dry, my hair on the back of my neck standing on end. What's next? Why can't I watch now? All these questions I bite my tongue not to ask.

"I can see your mind working sweetness, just stop thinking and feel for once." He grunts out.

My senses heighten I wait in silence even my erratic breath catches in my throat the anticipation holding me perfectly still. My curiosity holding my tongue.

I feel a flutter of fabric strands drag down my throat, passed my collar bone, tickling my nipples and over my stomach. Heading lower dragging over my puffy, swollen outer lips leaving a hot trail of need behind. My fingers and toes curling, my arms and legs straining to try to arch me forward towards the soft touch.

A quick stabbing flinch of pain in my side, ouch. What the fuck was that? My whole side felt like it was on fire.

"Don't move sweetness. The more you move, the more pain you get. The less you move, the more pleasure. I'll even fuck you with the handle but only if you're a good girl and stay nice and still." His chuckle is seductive and dark.

I bet he thinks I'll move, I'll show him, I won't, I'm not letting pleasure make me weak. I can't afford to be here I need to get back to my life before tomorrow. Mon's is probably already worried sick about me. It's been hours since I was supposed to have met her, at least I think so I can't really see my watch from here. A hysterical laugh threatens to burst free of my throat, bubbling its way up. What I wouldn't give right now to be at home with my cats watching TV and reading sexy stories on Literotica. Oh wait Lit, I think even a few friends on there might even worry, I feel so guilty. A handful of real-life people and some long-distance ones will be hurt if I never show my face again.

Feeling moody I straighten my shoulders, tilting my head back. Game on Crazy boy. Do your worst.

"Ha-ha, she has spunk. I like it." I can feel his breath trail over my cheek. "You don't have a chance, Dee. I'm gonna make sure that pussy is nice and wet, drag the handle around your clit and spread that silky wetness and slide it inside you as far as I can. Then you know what I'm going to do?" I shake my head in fear, in shock, in lust. "I'm going to leave it tucked in that nice slick pussy and wait for you to move.. while I suck on those delicious nipples." I feel his hand palm my tit lifting it his thumb flicking round and round. I instantly knew how much trouble I was in. It took every drop of my willpower not to thrust my chest forward and offering them up to him.

"Good girl sweetness. Not even a flinch. I'm impressed." Why do those simple words from him bring such a flush of pleasure? Like his approval means something to me, Pfft as if. I mentally shake myself, stay strong girl your hide is counting on it.

Light fingers graze across my thighs. Trailing up the inside of my leg, barley touching my hip, holding me still. Once again I feel the cool fabric strands of what I'm assuming is a whip dragging between my legs, the material stretched taunt sawing between my lips, dragging over my sensitive bud. A whimper escapes my lips as the strands pull even tighter, lifting me higher on my toes with the force. One twitch of my hips escapes me on a gasp.

"Oh, sweetness what am I going to do with you?" I can hear the triumph in his voice.

I brace myself knowing I earned this I shouldn't have moved, wait.. what the fuck I have to stop thinking like this, I don't owe him anything and I sure as hell have nothing to feel guilty about I didn't ask for this.

A sharp sting hits the top of my bum cheeks, followed fast by a heating glow, it felt like someone had dragged a burning ember across my skin the intense pain fizzles out to a thumping throb between my legs.. oh, god I like it I gasp in my head just as another strike hits on the same spot.

I can't hold back a moan when the third strike hits the same spot. My body is over sensitive, overheated it feels like my insides are boiling. I don't think I can take this much longer.