After my girlfriend broke up with me, I was through with love for a while. It was just me and "Righty" for about two months, until finally I got the itch again. Since I don't hang around bars much, I had to try to find a date where I could. This, as it turned out, was at work.
Tina was a nice girl, a little on the heavy side, but only just enough to give her some nice curves in just the right places. I'd never really given her much thought, mainly since we don't work in the same department, so our paths didn't really cross all that much. One day, though, I decided that the next time I saw her, I would ask her out.
That day turned out to be two days later.
I walked into the break room, and there she was, reading a book. Boldly walking over, I sat down and when she didn't look up, I said, "Would you go on a date with me?"
She must not have thought I was talking to her, because she didn't look up right away. After a little bit, though, she glanced up from her book and saw that I was the only one nearby. Looking at me with a puzzled look, she asked, "What was that?"
Realizing I had just blurted out my intentions, I blushed and turned to get up, muttering, "Nothing..."
Tina reached out and touched my hand. The sensation was electric. I didn't realize I was so desperate!
"No, don't go." She was looking at me earnestly - hoping she had heard right, apparently. "I just didn't hear right... did I?"
Suddenly, I was a freshman in high school again, asking Lisa Delmont, a sophomore, to Homecoming. "Um... I uh... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so... blunt. I... well... I was wondering if you'd... um... like to go on a... well... date... you know, with me... sometime."
Tina laughed at my sudden unease. "I thought that's what you said. I don't get asked out for many dates these days. Since you asked so nicely, sure, I'd love to. Thank you."
Relieved that she didn't smack my face off, I told her I'd pick her up Saturday night. She agreed with a smile that lit up the whole rest of the week.
Saturday arrived. I was nervous as hell. I went to the barber for a haircut, and I think I nearly drove the poor guy nuts with little nit-picky things. For some reason, I think I was as worked up as that one Homecoming when Lisa Delmont - miraculously - said yes.
After the barber, I went home to shave. I used up nearly an entire can of shaving cream. I was losing my mind. While being as careful as possible not to nick myself, guess what, I nicked myself. And not once, but twice! I was swearing my head off, and trying to stop the blood while also trying to finish the rest of my face. It seemed to take for fucking ever.
But, eventually, as all things do, it came to an end. I didn't look like I'd tried to commit suicide, but it sure as hell felt like it. Maybe that was the answer. I could relieve the tension. I'd call Tina and tell her I couldn't make our date, because I was dead.
Fuck.
It wasn't Tina. She was great. I wouldn't have asked her out if I didn't think so. But I was just so fucking nervous. Why? It wasn't like I hadn't been on dates before. Hell, I'd had millions of 'em. I just wanted this one to go well. I liked Tina. What I'd learned about her, I liked. Maybe this could be another long-term thing, like the last one...
Bingo.
Like the last one.
Fuck. I was afraid that I'd like her, but she'd dump me. After only one date! I guess I didn't like the idea that I was that big a loser. But, I guess it wasn't like Tina's social calendar was chock-full, either, from the sound of it.
Calm down, man!
I tried to slow down a little. It was nuts to be ready for a date five hours before it started. But I was just about there. I just had to pick out clothes...
Well, to make a long story short, I found something I deemed acceptable to wear after only about forty-five minutes. Considering the rest of the day, that was like walking up to the closet and wearing the first thing I grabbed.
Lots of time left...
Figuring there was no sense in getting dressed yet, I sat down for a while, popped a tape in the VCR, and promptly fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was 8:00. Fuck! I was already late! Maybe my earlier frenzy wasn't as paranoid as I originally thought.
I leaped into my suit, grabbed my wallet and keys and raced out the door. Getting into the car, I prayed that my ten-year-old Ford would start and keep running. The date gods were with me, it roared like a lion first try. I pulled out of the alley and headed for Tina's, careful not to drive like too much of a maniac, no sense making myself later by getting pulled over.
Pulling up in front of Tina's house, I was impressed with the look of the place. I wondered how she could afford a house its size, but learned later she'd inherited it from her grandparents, and had no payments to make.
Anyhow, I went to the door and rang the bell. After a minute, I heard movement on the other side, and then the door opened.
Holy shit! Tina was wearing a short dress that showed off her legs. Oh-fucking-my! I couldn't believe she didn't have more dates, looking like this. Yeah, she was a little heavy, not exactly what the fashion (and porno) magazines would say was the perfect shape for a woman, but Jesus, was she a knockout!