Thursday
7/16/20
Authors' note: This chapter starts a thread that runs through a few chapters, a brief divergence into science-fiction/horror. There is a short scene of threat and terror (though no violence) which may be unsettling to some viewers.
There is a small town in eastern Wyoming, one or two bedraggled houses, lots of ruins of others, an ancient gas station, and a long, dark train that doesn't seem to move. The interior of the gas station is crowded, and the people inside wear weather-inappropriate clothing and watch your every move like you're not supposed to be there, like you're not even supposed to have found this place.
I stopped there. I would recommend that you do not.
Keannadiid came for me first, as he always did in my dreams. Maybe that's because I'd seen him around school, interacted with him. Maybe that's because we'd been fighting face to face when I shot him.
Of all the attackers at the cabin three years ago, his was the only face I remembered, the other men I'd killed were nameless, faceless silhouettes in my mind. But the security guard, Nina's cousin, the man with the access to cameras and computers and the desire to use them against me, he stood out.
And he always came for me first in my nightmares.
Jessie was sitting at the table in the downtown Milwaukee bar where we'd shared our first meal all those years ago, and my arm was still in a sling, aching from the cold and multiple surgeries. "You're dead," she said, her usually bright and excited voice as dull and gray as a monotone. "So either I drank myself to death or into hallucinations. Either way, good to see you again."
"I did die, couple of times," I responded. "They brought me back though. We're both very much ali - "
That was when Keannadiid stepped out of the shadows carrying an AK47. "You cannot see the tapes," he told me, like he'd said in the school's basement security office. Then, looking at me and taking aim, "We are coming for you."
Darkness exploded in front of me with an explosion like the world was ripped apart by a nuclear bomb, and my arm ignited with exquisite pain.
The hotel room was unfamiliar, dark except for moonlight pouring in the slats of the blinds. I ripped the confining sheets off my sweating body, rolled to the floor with a loud, jarring THUMP, grabbed my Sig off the end table and focused on the shaking red dot dancing across the door. Light bloomed behind me, and I was vaguely aware of distant voices, growing louder. They were a secondary concern, I had to protect her, they might be coming for us again, they'd funnel through that door and then -
Smooth skin against my bare back, lips against my ear. "It's ok, Gary, I'm right here. I've got you, it's ok..."
Slim, pale arms reached around me, and Jessie took the SIG from my shaking hands, set it on the end table before wrapping me in a hug. "You're here, you're safe, it's ok..."
From the back of the room, McKenna was uttering a nonstop stream of "What the fuck" over and over again, and Jessie said "Shut the hell up, you're not helping."
I trembled in her arms until the adrenaline bled off, the storm of fear and anger clouding my mind dissipating before her soothing words and touch. The violent nightmares had gotten less frequent, fortunately, and Jessie no longer had to comfort a scared, armed, disoriented man multiple times a week. It'd been a while since I'd dreamed as ugly and frightening as that.
I rose shakily, turned and held her. "Thank you," I whispered into her ear.
"You're ok?"
"Eventually." My mouth felt like a desert and my arm burned. I pulled away. "Go back to bed, I'll join you shortly."
Mckenna was sitting on her bed cross-legged, elbows on her knees, glaring daggers at me. "I'm sorry," I told her as I walked to the bathroom. "I'm sorry I woke you up, sorry I scared you, sorry you had to see that."
She followed me into the bathroom, ranting as I downed a glass of water and a packet of Tylenol that I found in the vanity. "People like you are the reason people like me think people like you shouldn't have guns! You could've fucking shot us! You were out of your mind!"
I splashed water on my face, splashed some on my arm. If didn't help the flames, they were under my skin. "I wasn't pointing it anywhere near you, you were behind me."
"Great, so the next time you have a bad dream and lose your marbles you're just going to start shooting out into the parking lot? What if you're in a hotel, what about the people across the hall?"
"I didn't shoot anyone, my finger wasn't even on the trigger."
"Whatever, you're still a fucking danger to everyone arou - "
I turned to face her, and she shut up. "Until you've had to deal with the knowledge that living another SECOND, drawing another BREATH means fighting for your life, until you've seen people you love shot down in front of you, you shut the fuck up about my owning and carrying guns. Your opinion means shit all. I've been there, done that, got the motherfucking t-shirt. You are out of your fucking element, Donny."
"But that still doesn't - "
I stepped up, towering over her, making her feel the disparity in our sizes. "Say another word and you're hitchhiking to Denver."
Her mouth opened and I smiled cruelly, raised a finger. "One. More. Word."
I shut the light off on the annoying little programmer and went back to bed. This time, Jessie wrapped her arms around me.
I woke up about two hours later to Jessie rising from the bed, moving to the bathroom. The bedside clock said five thirty. Dammit. Today was gonna suck. I felt like I hadn't slept for even a second, and the thought of last night made my heart start to race.
McKenna rose at six as Jessie exited the bathroom, and I rolled to sitting on my side of the bed, grabbed my shorts and pulled them on. I fished for my wallet, pulled out a bill, sighed, and walked over to the other side of the room. "Hey."
"Can I speak now?" McKenna was still angry.
"Yeah, you can. I want to give you this, it's... It's the best apology I've got."