Chapter 1 The Beginning
I knelt at the front door waiting for my girlfriend to come home from work. She was later than usual. I had been on my knees for over 30 minutes waiting for her. Tonight was a special night and I didn't want to upset her. She had "given me" a special birthday present this year. I had always fantasized about serving a dominant woman and she had agreed to serve as my mistress for a 30 day trial period. That trial would end tonight and I had to decide whether I wanted it to continue on a permanent basis. I had mixed feelings about the decision. Reality was not the same as fantasy, and while I enjoyed some of the activities we experimented with, there were also things that I did not enjoy. Kneeling on my knees waiting for her was one of those activities.
Tonight I took the time to remind myself how I got here. I'm a man of 55. Recently retired with plenty of time on my hands. I was always shy around women and didn't date in high school or college. If you looked up the definition of 'nerd' in the dictionary, my name would be there. I read my first stories about female led relationships as a teenager. I was immediately hooked and began my fantasy life as a male submissive. Those were the pre-internet days and my search for information about female domination was confined to porn magazines, especially the ones like 'Variations' that printed stories and articles about such things.
The arrival of the internet fueled my fantasies. Stories, articles and even videos were now available to me. I lived in a rural community so there wasn't a lot of opportunity to experience real life adventures, but the internet provided all of the information I needed to fuel my fantasies. Soon I was buying toys or improvising to act out the fantasies I read about. I would imagine I was the submissive male depicted in the stories I read and act out as best I could what took place in the story. I experimented with spanking and paddling, clothespins and clamps, enemas and butt plugs, and bondage including CBT.
Most of the experiences were enjoyable, at least until I climaxed. After that, the rush was gone and I lost interest in the scene. The one thing I couldn't experience was the ability to give up control. I was always able to end a scene whenever I needed to so the feeling of submission was never really experienced. I browsed on line dating sites that catered to BDSM and eventually met several women who claimed to be dominant. I played with a couple of them but never felt that they were totally in charge. I remained unsatisfied.
Several years ago I saw a woman at my high school reunion that I hadn't seen for nearly 30 years. We were friends in high school but never romantic, although many thought we should be. We started dating and the relationship lasted for two years. I hinted of my desire for her to take the lead in the relationship but couldn't bring myself to tell her all of my fantasies. I came up with a plan to loan her my Nook so she could read some of the books we both enjoyed. I purposely left several of my femdom stories "hidden" in the library for her to find. Evidently she did as she broke up with me several months later telling me my secret was safe with her.
That brings me to Shirley, my current girlfriend. We met on line on a vanilla dating site that caters to singles over 50. We quickly hit it off and started dating regularly. We are both a bit overweight so we often discussed who should be on top during sex. I argued that I was too heavy for her so she usually took the more dominant position. This continued for a while until I confessed I liked her on top because I was submissive. Shirley questioned me more about my comments and I confessed my desires to her.
Instead of being shocked by this revelation, Shirley seemed to accept it and wanted to see some of the sites I visited on the internet. She read some of the stories and watched a few videos. I showed her my toy collection and explained what various items were used for. She called me kinky, but said she was willing to experiment a little. The next night she spanked and paddled me for the first time, placed clothespins on my nipples, cock and balls and used a strap-on to fuck my ass. She was not into giving pain and stopped whenever I moaned. She simply wanted to give me the fantasy I desired.
We continued to play over the course of the next few months. I encouraged her but she remained hesitant to administer pain. Still, we remained happy in the relationship and I continued to browse my favorite sites to satisfy my needs.
She moved in a couple of months before my birthday. She told me that she wanted to do something special for my birthday. She fixed me a wonderful birthday dinner and then handed me an envelope. Inside was a card stating that she would make my fantasies become real for a 30 day trial period. At the end of the trial we would discuss whether to make it a permanent arrangement. During the 30 day trial I would do anything she requested and I would be punished if I misbehaved or did not perform well. We would experiment with some of my fantasies, but she would decide when and where that would happen.
She gave me a form she had downloaded from the internet. It listed hundreds of activities, some of which I had never heard of. She told me that if I wanted this to happen I was to evaluate each activity on as directed on the form.
I looked over the form. The directions said to rate each activity from 0-5. Zero meant the activity was a hard limit, something I did not want to experience under any circumstance. Five meant I was experienced performing the activity and it was something that was enjoyable for me. It took me over an hour to complete the form. I had to research some of the terms. There were over 200 items listed and I had to evaluate each one. I signed the form and gave it to Shirley. Were my fantasies finally going to come true? I hoped so.
Shirley asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. There would be no backing out once the trial period began. I told her I was ready and she told me the trial period would start in the morning. She took the list with her and locked herself in the spare bedroom while I went to bed. She reviewed the list and my responses to it. Some must have amused her because I could hear her laughing in the next room. When she came out a couple of hours later she was smiling. She told me that the activities I rated as hard limits would be observed, anything else was fair game. I tried to recall some of the activities I had rated low, but was willing to try. I began to worry just a little, hoping my fantasies were not something I would regret. Still, I trusted her and knew she wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
She told me to get up early tomorrow and fix her breakfast. She also said she would prepare a list of chores for me to do while she was at work. She told me that she would inspect my work when she got home and that everything on the list had better be done correctly or else. My cock immediately stood at attention to the prospect that she was actually taking this seriously. I considered messing up a few of the chores to see what happened, but decided against it as I wanted to make the experience as realistic as possible. We went to bed and had great sex that night.
The morning came too quickly. She got up at 5 am to get ready to make the one hour commute to work. She worked 12 hour shifts during the summer which meant she usually didn't get home until 8 pm or later. She was usually tired and in a poor mood due to the stresses at work. I hoped today would be a good day for her so she would be in a favorable mood when she got home.
Her list included a few surprises. I was to shave all of my body hair from the neck down. Following that I was to put on a pair of my women's panties that she knew I had. I was to wear nothing else until she got home. I was to clean the entire downstairs. I was to take down the drapes in the living room and wash/iron them. She wrote that she would help me hang them when she got home. I was also to do the wash and hang it out to dry. Finally, I was to make a nice dinner for two and have it ready when she arrived home around 8.
I mapped out a plan. I did as much cleaning as I could prior to taking down the drapes. Once down, the entire interior of the downstairs would be visible to anyone passing by. With me wearing nothing but woman's panties, I was not enthusiastic about having neighbors taking a peek in the house. I got the rest of the laundry done and went into the back yard to hang it out to dry. We had a fence around the yard but it was only 5 foot high. Anyone who wanted to investigate my activity or come over to chat would be able to see how I was dressed. Fortunately no one did, but my mind was constantly imagining someone looking at me from one of the neighbor's windows. I even imagined seeing shadows in a window but attributed it to an over active imagination.
