'Oh god, did I really just say that!' Ever the over-friendly, awkward duck in social settings, this Munch was no exception. My very first time meeting him and I have the nerve to joke that he's not nearly as good looking as his pictures. WTF? What was I thinking? It wasn't true of course, because he was, in fact, all that I thought he would be and more. Not overly handsome, not stand out in a crowd handsome, but definitely hold your gaze handsome. The kind of look that would intimidate even the strongest of women. So, naturally, feeling that intimidation and the insecurity that followed, I decided to open up with the joke from hell. It didn't help that it was my first Munch either. Could things get any worse?
As I stood there waiting for him to say something, smiling way too widely and nervously looking at anything but him, I became acutely aware of his calm demeanor - and the fact that he didn't respond. Not that I expected him to like the joke, but I was at least hoping for some sort of ice breaker. Even a reprimand for my behaviour would have been better than this. But no, he just stood there. He didn't even flinch and worse yet, he's staring at me. Suddenly, I feel very nervous and almost...apologetic. I stop fidgeting. My eyes stop darting and I look at my feet. My smile has faded and I am wishing with everything I have that I was anywhere but here. Just as I'm about to turn on my heels and bolt for the exit, he speaks.
"Would you like to try again, Addiena?"
"Yes, please" I respond, sounding mousier than ever. Where in the world did this little voice come from?
Again with the silence.
I take a deep breath and look up. Then I calmly extend my hand and say "hi, I'm Addiena, it's a pleasure to meet you". My voice has returned to it's normal octave and I realize that my shoulders have straightened and I'm looking directly at him. He smiles and I instinctively look away.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you as well, Addiena." He holds onto my hand until I find the courage to look at him again. "Would you like to sit?" he asks.
I smile shyly "I would love to" and I sit down (with the gracefulness of a 2 year old) in the seat that he has pulled out for me.
The first few minutes continue to be awkward. I find myself tripping over my words or using too much sarcasm, and each time I do he does not respond. He just waits and watches until I collect myself and start saying what I actually mean. After some time my nerves subside and the conversation takes on an ebb and flow of words and smiles and laughs. He asks questions and answers all of mine. He introduces me to the members of the group that he knows and I soon find myself relaxing, genuinely smiling along and talking with everyone. He leaves my side more than once to go and speak with others, but I am never left alone and he always returns and asks how I am doing. I'm so grateful that he's encouraged me to attend tonight. I find myself looking at my phone and wishing the night wouldn't end.
Sadly though, the room begins to clear and people say their goodbyes. I've exchanged numbers with a few from the crowd and made plans to attend other functions. He returns to my side and says his goodbyes to a close friend. I feel him place his hand on my lower back as his friend walks away. He's closer now, leaning into my ear, and my skin breaks out in goosebumps. "Come, I'll walk you to your car."
I don't speak, I simply follow. He doesn't grab my hand, doesn't fill the space between us with empty words. Instead he leads me to the door and we step out. He asks me which way to my car and we begin to walk. I want to take baby steps, to stay in his presence just a little bit longer.
"Did you enjoy yourself Addiena?" he asks. There is no pretentious tone to his voice, just sincerity. "Very much so" I say. "Everyone was so welcoming and friendly, I really feel like I made some new friends...and I'm sorry I was such a schmuck when I first got there."
