I decided to come to this small park to relax. It was just in front of the big luxury apartment building where I lived, a big skyscraper. One could say I was quite lucky to have this area just across the street because, in such a big city, there was not a lot of green space anymore. To me, it was vital to be able to go to a place where I could just sit down to smell and hear the remainder of nature.
Today, I was not working. It was late in the morning, and I was sitting on a small bench facing the pond with my book. Halfway through it, I couldn't get myself to finish it, it was not very good. What would be the point of imposing this on myself? There were plenty of other works I could try later if I wanted to.
I put it next to me on the bench before stretching and placing my elbows on the backrest. I turned my face to the sky, there were no clouds; I could feel it. The sun was intense, warming up the skin around my sunglasses.
When I was peaceful like this, I could hear and feel so many things. Everybody should take the time to do this occasionally, they would understand me better. I liked to build a mental representation of my environment, only using the sounds, the smells, and the touch.
Without vision, I could tell there was a hotdog stand somewhere on my left, probably a busy one as the employee kept repeating the same words over and over again to greet new customers. Regular clients were not receiving the same treatment as he used a much more genuine dialogue to reward them for their fidelity.
The pond in front of me was impossible to miss, of course. Adults and kids alike were feeding the ducks. The fascination experienced during this action crossed generations. To me, however, they were just water rats. I tried to feed them once or twice but found it pointless, and I didn't like the noises they made.
They should move them to a real forest instead of keeping them in the middle of a city to make people feel better. I guess humanity needed a reminder that they didn't destroy the whole planet yet, so they could keep doing it without guilt. The quacking water rats were that excuse.
There were also a bunch of other benches on my right that were all full from what I could hear. People, like me, reading a book to escape city madness or feeding pigeons. Blerk! Pigeons, I didn't even need to talk about those things. Flying rats.
There was a light wind today. I was a woman, but I could still feel the thin body hair of my naked arms, reacting to it; I was very sensitive. If it were blowing from the West, it would bring an odor of pizza. The hotdog smell would generally come from the East. Because it was merely a matter of paying attention, I could just let my senses receive all of this information effortlessly. For me, it was by far the easiest way.
The giant city was good to me. It would be hypocritical of my part to say otherwise as, even if not perfect, I made my money out of it. A chunk of it came from real estate, but I also had a specialization that made my work pretty valuable to a lot of people. Also, it was convenient to have all the services I needed at a walking distance; it made my life easier. Like most people living here, if I had to go somewhere a bit farther, I'd just get in a cab. Yeah, I liked it here, a lot.
"Sorry, do you mind if we share this bench?"
I returned my head to a level position and turned it toward the man that just asked that question. Here we were again. It never failed. It was a simple matter of time.
"Sure, no problem at all," I said.
"Thank you. The park is bustling today."
Yep, the chit chat had started. I scouted my butt to the left and returned my book to my lap. Next, the stranger was going to talk about the weather and eventually would start flirting with me. It was always the same recipe. Since it was a non-aggressive way to meet new people, it was all good.
I was not offended by unknown lonely men that tried to get a piece of flesh. They did nothing wrong, but I just wished that, eventually, one of them would use a different path to approach me. At least, based on his voice, this one seemed to be around my age, early thirties, I'd say, which made him a better candidate than the ones in their sixties that were pulling the same crap. Age was not the issue, but come on. Grow up!
He sat next to me, at least this one was not trying to touch me right away, else I'd have been out of here. I was ready. What would he say next? I waited ... And waited?
Nothing? Was he ignoring me?
That was a bit odd. My head was pointing toward the quacking duck pond, but all my attention was on this man sitting next to me. I couldn't hear him preparing his voice and couldn't sense him hesitating. There was a strange calmness emanating from him. Usually, men were quite nervous while gathering the courage to speak to me. Why was he different? I waited some more, trying to figure out what I was missing? What was he waiting for to talk to me?
Then I heard him flip a page of his book. Again ... and again. Was he truly reading and not paying any attention to me? I kind of felt like a fool for guessing wrong what he was going to do. My face felt warmer, and it was not because of the sun this time. It was merely a bit of self-humiliation.
By doing nothing, this guy made me rearrange my thought process. He got me curious, interested. I wanted to know why he didn't do what I predicted. He did have a friendly voice and was polite, so maybe I should try to talk to him? Then I realized something; I was squeezing my book very hard in my hands. Why was I that anxious all of a sudden? I groaned and lowered my head.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Ghk! ..."
He scared me. I didn't deserve this embarrassment. Why did I groan anyway? Now I probably looked like a freak. But, perhaps I was right, he is going to talk to me after all. He was just waiting for an opportunity. That must have been the reason.
"I'm fine," I said.
"Okay ... Sorry."
Sorry? What now? My face was burning even more. I heard him flip another page of his book. Was this apology all the extent of his social interaction? He didn't intend to speak to me at all. That was abnormal. What was his deal, was he gay? I was even starting to be a bit angry at him for ignoring me.
Without even noticing, I was the one that was currently gathering up some courage. How did it end up like this? It was supposed to be the other way around. And these damn water rats kept quacking as if to make fun of my situation. Okay, let's put an end to this nonsense. I turned to the guy and addressed him in a confident tone.
"Excuse me!"
"Mmm ... Yes?"
"I ..."
"What is it?"
Oh no! I was not ready ... I just paused like an idiot because I had no idea what to tell him. He was waiting for my next words, but I had none to share.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm... sorry."
"Sorry for what? Do you want me to sit elsewhere? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"What? No! No, no! It is not that at all. It is just ... you didn't talk to me."
"Uh? You are a strange one, alright. Look, do you need to talk? I'm a good listener if you need to vent about something."
Oh my Gosh, this went all wrong. It must have given the worst first impression ever. I was ready to show him how confident I was, but it turned into me looking like a vulnerable girl that had mental problems and needed a shoulder to cry on.
"I have no problems!"
"Haha. I didn't say you had. So, what is it then?"
"I ... I don't know ..."
Not only did I dig a hole, but I climbed down into it and even started burying myself. I wanted to run away. It was as if I was losing control, and on top of everything, my whole body was burning of shame. What was going on? Something like this never happened to me before.
"My name is Miles. What is yours?"
"Oh? What? My name?"
