The Submission of Stephen

He did everything exactly as She had instructed. The time was now near. He carefully selected a tape from a stack of tape mixes he had made just for this night and slipped it into the stereo cassette player, the volume set low. Every action he had taken that day had been by Her command from the fresh squeezed orange juice he had made for himself for breakfast to the type of flowers that were carefully placed around the hotel room.

At exactly 4:00pm he had registered into the hotel making sure a key was left for Her in a discreet envelope at the front desk. He had included a note with the key that had been his own idea. It said simply, "For You, Mistress." He unloaded his car bringing in the small stereo system, the bouquets of flowers he had purchased, his one suitcase, and the other items She had requested. Every time he entered he carefully took off his shoes before stepping into the room.

At exactly 5:00pm he began the extensive cleansing ritual She had ordered and began the first of the enemas. He wondered if his cleanliness was important to the Mistress' plans or if She had ordered this just to exert control over his psyche because wondering what she had in mind for him was a torture all of its own. But he knew that She would know if he skipped this step and he didn't want to risk displeasing Her.

If I don't find you exactly as I expect to find you, I will turn around and leave and you will not be offered a second chance.

He knew that this was it. This was either the beginning or the end. He had blown it so many times before. He had never properly submitted to Her online where they had met. He had made every mistake a submissive could possibly have made. He had not shown up for dates they had. He had kept Her waiting. Once he had even disappeared for months without giving Her an explanation. He had never known unconditional love before and mistook her forgiveness as weakness, unaware that She was waiting for the right moment to exert Her control; waiting for him to tire of his ploys and his games. Waiting for him to really value what only She could give to him.

She had patiently challenged him, nudged his fears, allowed his retreats, and allowed his not-so-discreet returns. They had lived out a variety of relationships as friends, then lovers, then entered into playful domination where She allowed him to believe that he had set their course with his neediness and his manipulations. "I need to be submissive," he had told Her as if She didn't already know. She would smile to Herself and always ask him, "Then why don't you submit?" She danced with him over and over again. She brought out Her hurt voice when his conscience needed a prod. She brought out Her angry voice when his ethics needed a dusting. She patiently and slowly lead him to accept the domination of his will rather than just lust after the domination of his body at his own whim.

He completely panicked when She insisted they meet. She told him his careless treatment of Her was due to his thinking of Her as words on his computer screen, although She knew it was more due to youth and willfulness more than anything else.

I want to be real to you.

He told Her that he couldn't meet Her that he hated to travel. She said that She would come to him. He finally agreed to dinner. But She never came for dinner.

He really was afraid to travel. He was afraid of much. He was afraid of everything. He was afraid of himself. He was terrified of Her. But nothing he said scared Her off. Nothing he did angered Her to the point of leaving. She didn't rush back into his arms after he betrayed Her. But She didn't hide from him either. He finally realized what She had known all along. They were simply meant to be together. He realized that no one else would have hung in there while he grew up.

I've changed our dinner plans. We are going to do something else instead.

He felt the blood rush to his face. It had taken him weeks just to adjust to dinner. He pictured entering the restaurant. He worried about what he would wear. He worried about their online chemistry not translating into real life. He worried that She would realize how young he really was. He worried about spilling pasta sauce on his tie. His fear of someone seeing them together almost equaled his fear or travel. But he had forced himself to take this risk and She calmly announced that She had changed their plans. And She did so in a way that took his breath away.

She was offering him the one thing that he wanted more than anything else in the world. She was coming to be his Mistress. In the small town that he was afraid to leave, where he certainly had no future that included a Mistress, She was offering him what might be the opportunity of a lifetime if he just had the courage to do exactly what She asked of him. Willingly.

She was, for the very first time in the long year that he had known Her, giving him an ultimatum.

Do exactly as I tell you. I will not offer you a second chance.

At exactly 6:00pm he went down the hall to get the ice that would chill the champagne She had requested. Then he took a long hot bath in the special bath salts She had sent to him He had never even heard Her voice. He began to obsess over how She might sound. He had offered to call her. His offered was refused when he told Her that he couldn't drive into the city to meet Her for dinner, when She found out how afraid he really was of all that he wanted. And when She commented on how likely he was to live his life without his desires, he disappeared again. But She waited. She knew. When he told her that he didn't blame Her if She never spoke to him again, she whispered to him,

I will own you. You are Mine.

And with those words everything in his life changed. Suddenly he knew he had nothing to lose. His future was almost a certainty without Her. But with Her, nothing was certain, except that he would be facing one fear after another with Her at his side until he would no longer be afraid of anything at all. He began to consider everything he knew about Her rather than the things he didn't know, like the sound of Her voice. She had given him so many glimpses or her raw sexuality. Her almost embarrassing honesty. Her never ending affection. Her wise patience. And once he had made up his mind to take the risk of Her touch, he unwittingly began what was to be his true submission.

He cleaned the bathtub after his bath and carefully put away his toiletries. He began to lay out what She would need for Her bath. He had dreamed of bathing Her, a scene they had once played out online. He knew the temperature of the water. He knew what oil to rub into Her skin before it was dried by the towel.

At exactly 7:00pm he began to trim the wicks of the dozen candles he had placed around the room. He turned the champagne bottle in the ice. He adjusted the volume of the stereo. He was pretty sure he was about to have a panic attack but he did the deep breathing exercises She had given him and kept reminding himself that he had nothing to lose. Nothing to lose. The worse possible thing that could happen was that She might not like him or that he might not like Her. He knew deep down that that was so unlikely. They were bonded by the deepest intimacy. They might realize their expectations were unrealistic, but to not like each other at this point was almost impossible. But maybe he would wake up the next day with a collar around his neck in the arms of the Mistress he knew that he loved. His first true Mistress.

At 7:30pm he began to light the candles. The room still smelled of Her special bath salts. He wondered where She was. Was She driving towards his town now? Was She in the room next door vaguely aware of his movements? He lit the gas fireplace with the remote control.

Make sure the room is warm. I don't want you to be cold.

At 7:45pm he uncorked the champagne and set the two crystal glasses by the bottle. He turned out the lamps in the room and did a final inspection of the room to make sure everything was perfect. His heart pounded as he heard steps out in the hall and it occurred to him that maybe their watches were not synchronized. Was it possible that he was behind schedule? The heavy footsteps passed on by and he tried to control his breathing once again. He cleared his mind of random fears that came up like how he would explain this older woman to his mother. He would have a Mistress and She would make sure that everything in his life was safe for him and he would trust Her because She had shown him Her heart and the purity of Her intentions. She had given him everything he needed to know to put his life into Her hands.

At 7:55pm he put the tape into the stereo that was the one he wanted Her to hear as She arrived. He checked the candles one final time to alleviate any fears he would later have about his safety. He placed a strawberry in each of the champagne glasses and then he walked over to the bed. He took the heavy chains earlier attached to legs of the bed and pulled them up and put the attached cuffs around his ankles and adjusted the straps. He then put on the blindfold and tightened it behind his head. He reached for two sets of handcuffs and executed what he had practiced many times in preparation for this sightless moment. He cuffed his left hand to the brass head rails with his right hand knowing that She had the only key. It was his ultimate act of faith. It was his submission. The other cuff he laid next to his naked still body and stretched his arm up until his hand was next to the brass.

At exactly 8:00pm he felt a tear fall silently into his blindfold as he heard the key turn in the lock of the door. She had come for him.