In my five years at the university, I've never seen or met anyone like her. Not even close. Even the way she walked into class on the first day. It was less of a walk and more of a glide. Floating across the room above the other trudging students. Easing into her seat front and center, making it hers. Making the whole room hers, as if the school were built for her. Waiting for her presence.
Her eyes were piercing, probing, knowing all my secrets. Never wavering, always present in the moment. Sitting around her, the other students seemed so... common. The girls either shied away or were jealous of her, and the boys were... boys. The day after I read her first paper, I didn't care what any of them had to say. It's wrong to say I didn't care, but I couldn't listen. How could I? She had such an effortless command of the language. I imagined the letters and words and sentences had the same affection for her as I, and would line up in the most charming manner, just to please her. She once completed one of my essay assignments in French, as if to say I wasn't challenging her enough. I handed it to a colleague of mine in the Language department and it left her speechless.
What's more is not WHAT she did, but the WAY she did it. She didn't hand in that paper in a defiant manner, and she wasn't showing off. She just did it to do it. I sensed she had an old, wise soul, one wise to the ways of the world, cognizant of her stunning beauty, avoiding the usual pitfalls and discretions of youth. I could only understand fragments of the French assignment, but the sound of the language, the construction of it, captured her physical appearance perfectly. The curves, the sounds, the rolls of the tongue, the lilts, the simplicity of this classic beauty.
I even had to adjust my teaching style for her. The sight of her crossing and uncrossing her legs meant I had to spend more time behind the desk instead of roaming the aisles, my preferred style. I couldn't be as imposing a figure to the students, especially in my seemingly non-stop state of arousal; I was relegated to one section of my classroom (MY classroom!) each time she sighed in a certain way. Or glossed her tongue over her lips. Or leaned ever so slightly forward to allow a hint of cleavage. Or fondled that "infinity" symbol on the end of her necklace, reminding me that there was a brilliant brain behind that smooth, flawless skin. Not that I could concentrate on the subject matter as it was. Not at all. From the moment she floated in her room and took that seat as hers, she took my class, my thoughts, my authority.
My strength had become my weakness.