In the three days that Casper was confined to his cell, he did a lot of thinking. He thought about Jane a lot and how happy he was that it was working out between them albeit under restricted circumstances. It made him consider his previous relationship, or simply an occurrence, that transpired between him and Ellie whom he worked within the thieves.
Casper had never had a girlfriend before; he had crushes on some girls when he was in high school but was too shy to approach any of them or ask them out. Also, living in a household with an abusive alcoholic father didn't help his confidence and sense of self-worth. When he moved out of his house, he started using dating apps for the first time, but found he barely got any matches, and when he did the girl texting him would stop replying after only a couple of messages.
He remembered when he worked in the kitchen, the chefs were astonished at the fact that he was seventeen and still a virgin. They asked if he was gay, and he didn't understand why they would come to this conclusion. Surely gay people have as much sex as straight people, how does being a virgin equal being gay, he thought. The chefs he worked with all admitted or claimed to have had sex for the first time when they were fourteen or fifteen. Casper never once thought about the "right age" to have sex until they said these things to him. They would go on to mock him in the kitchen saying things like, "Yer no gonna find yer hole under there Casper." when he bent down under units to look for things, or "Caspers a wee virgin and no lassies like him." They claimed to be joking but it didn't make him feel good.
He felt lonely, there was only himself in his bed and flat. He started to wonder if there was something wrong with him, meeting a girl when you're a teenager, going on dates, and having sex was normal right? It was happening to everyone else. Was there something wrong with him? Some nights he held his hands together and imagined it was someone else holding them, even if it was just for a moment, to imagine someone was there for him and he wasn't so alone.
He imagined how nice it would be to have a girlfriend, go on dates, and laugh and joke together. How they could hold each other and feel so close and happy to be together. Maybe it would have been nice to even just have close friends, he could have, but he was too nervous to try and socialise, putting himself out there. The people he worked with at the restaurant made him scared of talking to anyone else without the fear of being judged or mocked. He thought he was pathetic, and no woman would ever want a stupid boy like him anyway.
The thought of dating and socialising was put on hold when the war started and became a permanent fixture in the back of his mind since. Survival was all that mattered. Until one night when he was with the thieves. The group had successfully raided a supply lorry earlier that day and were celebrating with some of the booze and drugs they had stolen. They partied loudly in the ground floor area of the hideout while Casper lay on his hammock upstairs drawing on his sketchpad and wearing ear defenders to keep out the noise.
He was drawing a picture of one of his favourite anime characters Tomoko Kuroki from Watamote eating an ice cream on a beach, when he felt a touch on his shoulder. Jolting he looked up and saw Ellie standing over him smiling with a bottle of beer in her hand. She had been in the thieves for at least as long as he had. She was well versed when it came to weapons, she knew how to repair rifles, fix and adjust scopes and showed Casper how to properly take apart and clean his pistol. She was a great asset to the group. Casper and Ellie had somewhat of a decent relationship, she was quiet and didn't make fun of him like the others would. He couldn't say he got to know her desperately well in this time, but he had no reason to think ill of her. He wondered why she wanted to see him.
"Drawing another one of your manga girls?" she asked.
"Yeah." replied Casper closing the sketchbook.
"Aw c'mon let me see." she said prying the book from his hands.
"Hey!" Casper exclaimed. Ellie flicked through the pages examining them.
"These are really good Casper. Your drawings are great." she flicked through more pages.
"Please, can you give it back." he asked.
"Hold on, I'm just looking". she flicked another page revealing an illustration of a naked woman touching herself.
"Oh." Ellie said abruptly. Casper blushed looking down embarrassed.
"I think her boobs are a bit big, and her tummy looks a bit small to match with it." commented Ellie.
Casper covered his hands on his face. Ellie laughed, "Whatever, you like to draw your sexy manga girls. Anyway, are you not wanting to come down and celebrate with everyone?"
"No Ellie I'm fine. I just want to relax." said Casper bluntly still embarrassed.
"Aw that's a shame." she said swinging back another drink of her beer. "Not even just for a wee bit?"
"I'm just not into parties is all. I appreciate your offer, it's just tonight I want to draw then go to sleep." she looked at him with concern.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
He was taken aback by this. It was the first time since his grandmother had passed that anyone had expressed any concern for him. He didn't know where to begin.
"Well...I just maybe... don't know if I fit in with you lot is all." she put her hand on his shoulder.
"I don't think so. Your quick on your feet and have good observation skills. You're a good comrade man."
"I mean, socially. I don't think I'm desperately compatible with the rest of you. I don't feel like I belong." she looked at him for a moment.
"Do you want to talk?" she asked him earnestly. He looked up at her surprised. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."
"Sure. I'm just gonna nip downstairs and grab a couple more beers first. You want one?"
Casper hesitated. He didn't drink or take any drugs, especially since alcoholism ran in his family. But tonight, he felt different upon her request. "Go on." he said.
She went away and came back with the beers. They drank and talked together for a while. Casper was able to talk about how he felt amongst the rest of them and how he's been managing since the war ended. At the same time, he learned a lot about Ellie, what she did before the war, what her parents were like, what things she liked to do, and where she went to school. The conversation flowed naturally from the serious subject matter to more casual. Casper started to get tipsy after a couple of beers and their conversation became more playful, then flirtatious. They started talking about sex and the sort of things they liked which turned them on. Casper was too shy to admit explicitly to her that he was aroused at the prospect of being dominated but hinted at it by saying things like he liked the thought of cowgirl position best.
By this point Ellie was drunk, the more she talked about sex with Casper, the more she wanted him. She invited him to her mattress. They crawled onto it then looked at each other and smiled. She brought her face close to his and they started kissing.
It was Caspers first kiss, he always imagined what it would be like since he was a little boy. He pictured something like sitting alone with her under a starlit sky in the summer, holding hands and dreaming of their future together. Instead, it was drunk, on a dirty mattress, with a woman he didn't know amazingly well, in an abandoned unit in an industrial estate, with the backdrop of post war ruins in the East End of Glasgow.
The kissing was amazing, after being touch starved for so long, the slightest sexual tension drove him mad. He got hard instantly. Ellie looked down and noticed the bulge in his trousers and began stroking his penis through it making him moan. Ellie was horny too, the kissing, then seeing and touching his boner through his trousers made her wet. She took off her jeans and placed Caspers hand on her vulva over her knickers. He rubbed gently making her moan too. They undressed more so that they were both naked.
Casper held her warm body against his, he ran his fingers down her back to her bottom. The sensation was overwhelming, he couldn't fight it and ejaculated prematurely. He was very apologetic, but Ellie reassured him it was okay, as long as she could still cum. He placed his fingers inside of her, she instructed him what to do, he hoped he was doing a good job. When he got a rhythm, she started moaning louder, he got hard again. He kept moving his fingers the way she instructed then she came with a scream. She calmed down then laughed with satisfaction and noticed his boner again.
"If you make me cum again, I'll suck it" she promised.
He obliged with pleasure and listened to her every command as he wriggled his middle and index finger inside of her. Her moaning was consistent for a while then she calmed down again. He tried moving in different directions again trying to get a rhythm of pleasure within her, then found it by pushing in deep and rubbing the ceiling, it was so wet. Her moans got lounder until she climaxed again in a scream of pleasure.
They kissed for a bit longer until she moved her hand down and caressed his balls. He let out another moan. She bent forward bringing her head to his penis. There was cum still wet on it from his last orgasm so she wiped it off as best as she could with her t-shirt from the floor, then kissed it. She held it with one hand, pulled his foreskin back slightly, then looked up at him with a naughty smile.
