"What the fuck do you want, white boy?" he asked as I opened the door. Then he smiled at me and I let him in. "You want me to thug on your ass again?"
I remembered how his powerful black muscles gripped me like steel bands and the pain he inflicted on my body the last time he was here.
"I have something else in mind," I said. Please come in!
I closed the door behind him. He took off his motorcycle helmet and laid it on the coffee table. Then he sat down on the couch and offered me a Newport. I took it and we lit up.
"You doin' alright?" he asked.
Not much to complain about," I replied, trying to make small talk.
Having a cigarette gave me the perfect opportunity to watch him. Seeing a black guy blow thick streams of smoke gets me horny faster than anything—especially if he looks like a thug. That's how we met. I saw him smoking at work and asked him to give me a ride home. I wanted to talk to him but discovered that he was into jiu-jitsu. I asked him to show me some holds instead. I never got around to what I really wanted. Now he was back again, blowing thick smoke, and I was staring at him in awe. I couldn't help it.
"What the fuck are you lookin' at, white boy?"
"Can I ask you something, James?" I ventured.
"Yeah," he said, and took a deep drag on his Newport.
"What would you do if a guy asked you to blow smoke in his face?"
He exhaled the smoke in a thick stream, slowly and deliberately. "I'd do it," he answered definitely.
"It wouldn't bother you?" I asked.
"I have to blow my smoke out anyway. I don't give a fuck where it goes! If a guy wants it in his face, I don't care."
James watched me with interest as he took another drag.
"Have you ever blown smoke in a guy's face to bully him?" I asked.
He gave a chuckle, spurting little puffs of smoke as he laughed. "I do that shit to my brother all the time."
"Why?"
"Cause he hates smoke. The little fucker is always on my ass about smoking, so I blow it in his fuckin' face."
"Have you thought about pinning him down and torturing him with your smoke?" I asked. "You know—blow the whole cigarette in his face—make him breathe it?"
"I do that too," he laughed. "It really pisses him off."
"So you use your smoke as a weapon," I suggested.
"I never thought about it that way, but yeah! That's exactly what I do."
"Would you do it to me?" I asked nervously.
James had taken another deep drag and was blowing it out when I asked the question. Watching his thick smoke gave me a rush of adrenaline as I imagined him filling my face with it.
"You want me to blow my smoke in your face?" he asked, making sure he understood my request.
"Yes," I answered honestly.
"But you're a smoker," he said.
"It's not the smoke I like—it's the attitude," I explained. "I do like breathing another guy's smoke. But what I really want is for him to blow it in my face as if I didn't like it—especially if he's black. That's why I asked you to bring me home the first time we met. Do you mind?"
"That you want me to blow my smoke in your face? Fuck no!" he exclaimed. "I just be doin' my thing."
"And just what is your thing?" I inquired.
James looked at me as if I should know that already. "Kickin' a white boy's ass," he sneered.
"You don't like white people very much, do you?" I observed.
"Not true," he snapped. "I got lots of white friends. It's just that some white dudes like black guys because they're afraid of them. So I play it up, that's all."