I'm a switch. I've known that since before I even knew there was a term for such things. Marc's a submissive. He's known that since he watched me fuck another man back in '99.
It was that 'other' man, my Master and Dominant, who helped parlay my confusion as a young woman struggling to comprehend her sexuality. I met him before Marc. He was older, much older than my youthful, naive nineteen years. One might even argue that he rather adeptly groomed me, though if he did I was the consummate student - willing, keen to learn and doting on his every lesson.
He taught me that I needn't be ashamed by the extraordinary arousal I felt whenever he spanked my cunt, and that it was perfectly normal to get so turned on when he reminded me that I was his fucktoy - just holes for use and a good pair of tits.
'A human being ought to be diverse.' He explained, 'Like you, for example - you can be the strong, empowered woman you seek to be out in the world, and whatever you crave in your personal life too. It's an and-and world. Don't let any fucking cunt tell you otherwise.' - He wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, but that only made his occasionally on point observations that much more profound, particularly to a teenage girl.
He was, however, a savant, sexually speaking, and he was the first man to make me cum. Put bluntly, he had a deviantly creative mind, a huge fucking cock and he knew what to do with it. And big hands.
I went to him even as other relationships with boys my own age began, were endured, and then collapsed. Therein lay the crux of my confusion, for with my peers I wanted to dominate and to rule. I wouldn't succumb to their wishes that I be the dutiful wallflower girlfriend who ought to shed her attitude and bolshie ways. I thought I was broken for not fitting their ideal.
Until I met Marc.
I didn't tell Marc about my Master, the savant. At first. Marc was the one who I would take as my life partner. I knew it from the first time we stepped out. He was the epitome of a gentleman - kind, thoughtful, masculine, physically muscular and impeccably charming. He was also intriguingly sensitive and tentatively willing to submit, albeit nervously, as the latter had lain dormant in his subconscious until I extracted it with all the bludgeoning haplessness of a young rookie Domina.
Marc was also a good fuck and a thoughtful lover. I taught him how to eat my pussy and gradually incorporated a greater sub/Dom tangent to our twenty four seven. I built a loving, nurturing environment around him. I encouraged him to suckle as I held him when he woke and before he fell to sleep at night. I held him tight, cuddled him, praised him and guided him - all the things his childhood had never provided. I constantly reminded him that he was my baby, and my beautiful, sensitive soul. I repaired his damaged psyche, and he thrived in the safe, loving world I built for him. We both did.
We'd been living together for three months when I mentioned the savant.
'He's an old friend of mine.' I explained, 'A close friend. He's kind of a mentor, crazy as that sounds. I'd love for you to meet him.'
The savant came round for dinner. My suggestion. The two men sat at our quaint little breakfast bar talking about rugby while I made spag bol in a state of euphoric bliss. Proper little housewife and all that.
I'd reigned in Marc's drinking after we met. He needed a firm, guiding hand, mine, in all things. He must have thought it was Christmas when I temporarily lifted the booze ban and encouraged him to crack open another can of Guinness.
'It's only your fifth pint sweetheart, and we're enjoying ourselves.' I declared reassuringly before tugging on the ring pull and pouring the silky dark liquid into his glass.
One might say I was grooming him, though he responded with a gleeful, scholarly dedication befitting a truly aspirational submissive.
I won't pretend that I hadn't planned everything with keen precision, from the choice of my floral summer dress, with its brazen dΓ©colletΓ© offering an unladylike spectacle of my braless bosom, to going sans knickers so both men could witness more than just the tops of my stockings when I bent over to extract something from the fridge.
It was a test. For us all - but mostly for Marc.
'You looked fucking gorgeous tonight.' He eulogised, crashing on our bed with his eyes fixedly watching me as I undressed by the wardrobe.
'In this old thing? I replied, looking back over my shoulder with faux surprise, 'Thanks sweetie'.
'It turned me on that he was looking at you.' Marc mumbled. I could feel his eyes glancing away, even as I stepped out of my dress and let it fall to my ankles. And he never mumbled. Educated men are taught to speak clearly and authoritatively and always whilst making eye contact. Yet my charismatic boyfriend was suddenly staring up at the paint flecked ceiling whilst blushing like a pubescent nerd upon declaring his love to a first crush.
'I didn't notice him looking. You sure you didn't imagine it?' I teased, peering back at my would-be sub through my dressing table mirror as I eased a stocking down my thigh.
'He could barely take his eyes off you.' Marc scoffed, with his own gaze suddenly returning to its original focus.
'Really?'
'Uh huh.'
'Come to think of it, I suppose I did catch him looking down the front of my dress as we chatted. It's just that I'm used to it with him.' I offered, dipping my head to one side and ousting my earrings, 'And he's seen it all before. Maybe he just fancied reacquainting himself.'
Had I really just fucking said that? Aloud?
There was a beautifully uncomfortable, seemingly endless pregnant pause. I catwalk flounced to the bed, stark naked, and stood over Marc's figure as he lay prone and vaguely drunk across the duvet.
Haunted Dancehall by the Sabres of Paradise oozed from the bedside hi-fi. It's funny how those little details never leave you - of how the moody melody swooned around me as I waited for some kind of response, any kind of response from the boy I loved more than words could describe. But none came. He wasn't angry. That much was obvious. His eyes spoke of a discomfited confusion, suddenly flummoxed, lost for words, and floundering.
Boobs. Give him boobs.
'It was before us...' I elucidated, delicately running a reassuring hand through my boyfriend's foppish dark curls as I coaxed him to the edge of the bed and pressed his lips to my bosom, 'I probably should have told you...'
Marc whinnied appreciably and latched on.
'Do you like knowing that he's had me? It's okay to admit it.' I offered softly, holding my baby close, 'There's no shame in it.'
No shame, but definitely mighty erections.
I had Marc eat my cunt shortly afterwards - while I orgasmed to thoughts of the savant treating me like a worthless piece of fuckmeat. It had been so long, too long since I'd succumbed to the roughhouse touch of my deviant Dom. I knew Marc could never offer me that particular strain of release and I'd developed a craving for it - but the boy didn't have a violent bone in his body. It was one of the many things I loved about him.
A few days passed before the subject was mentioned again. I'd sown the seeds and left it up to Marc to pursue it further. We were getting stoned (to LoopGuru, for those who want the music reference) when he finally found the courage to revisit the scene of my past and our future.
'What was he like in bed?' My beau asked, passing me the smouldering blunt as we sat huddled together on our threadbare two seater sofa (one that I will forever maintain was actually only built for one and a half persons. Or maybe that was just down to the size of my ass).