She entered her bedroom, dropping her purse and jacket in the chair. Leaning in toward the dresser mirror, she removed her earrings and the clips that held up her hair when something in the reflection caught her eye. She felt a knot in the pit of her stomach as she turned around to see his belt coiled up on her pillow.
She fell back against the dresser, her knees suddenly weak. "What did I do?" she thought, her mind racing through the events of the day searching for anything that would have displeased him. The sudden beep from her phone made her jump and she nervously reached into her purse to read his text.
STRIP. KNEEL. WAIT.
Her hands shakily unfastened the buttons of her blouse, lowered the zipper of her skirt. She clumsily folded her clothes and placed them in the basket in the floor of the closet. Taking a deep breath, she positioned herself on her knees in the middle of the area rug beside the bed, head down, confused and waiting.
He had a key to her house so he could come and go as he pleased. She knelt there waiting for what seemed like an eternity until she finally heard the sound of his boots on the hardwood floor. She saw his imposing shadow on the floor in front of her.
"Do you know why I am here?"
"You are going to punish me, Sir," she replied meekly, picturing the belt laying on the bed.
"And why do you need punished?"
She shook her head slowly. "I don't know, Sir. I'm sorry. I don't know what I did wrong."
"I found this on your computer today," he said, flinging a piece of paper down on the floor. "Pick it up. Read it!"
She reached for the paper with a trembling hand, a print out of an email time-stamped earlier that day. When she saw who it was from she flinched, a letter from a former lover inviting her out for drinks and describing in detail what he would like to do to her. "Sir, please, I did not invite this. I will tell him not to write again."
"That will not be necessary. I've already taken care of that, and blocked him from ever sending you anything again." His voice was slow and deliberate. "Get up, whore."
As she started to stand, he pushed her down across the bed. One hand on the back of her neck pressing her face down in the mattress, the other came down hard across her ass. "Didn't I tell you that you would never be able to escape your past?" Another hard smack. "Once a whore, always a whore." He released his hold on her neck and moved to the head of the bed to retrieve his belt. "Get in position. Spread your legs like the slut you are."
She rolled her body over, her ass cheeks stinging as they touched the comforter. Laying on the bed, she stretched her arms over her head and separated her legs. When he was truly punishing her, he did not tie her down. He expected her to hold her position perfectly still or she would suffer more. Her eyes closed, she tried to steady her breathing. She had not seen him this upset with her in a long time.
"Open your eyes!" he ordered.
She knew better than to look at his face. Her eyes settled on the belt in his hand, his fingers stroking down the length of the black leather. The buckle end was wrapped around his hand. She watched his arm raise and her body jumped as the end of the belt struck between her legs. A loud gasp escaped her lips. His aim was always perfect, she thought.
Her eyes were wide open as she watched the belt come down again. Her hands above her head grasped tightly at the bed covers. Again and again the tip of the belt met it's target. Five times...six times... The sting of the leather took her breath away, but she knew if she moved or closed her eyes he would start over.
He didn't speak as he struck her repeatedly. He didn't need to. She knew the thoughts that were in his head. Eight times...nine times... The pain at this point was nearly unbearable. He hadn't given her a lashing this hard in months. She focused on watching the belt...knowing the exact moment it would hit her burning skin each time. Eleven times...twelve times...
Pausing, he stood and stared at her for a long time. She knew there would be one more blow. Thirteen was his favorite number. The waiting was almost as excruciating as the pain. She fought to keep her now watering eyes open. Her heart raced as she concentrated on counting the seconds, her eyes never leaving that strip of black leather.
Thirteen times...
"Look at me," he commanded. She raised her wet eyes to his, seeing the torment on his face. Without another word, he set the belt down on the bed and left the room.
She hadn't meant to, but she had broken his trust. That knowledge hurt worse than any physical pain he could inflict on her. She laid there not moving, tears streaming down her cheeks. Hearing the front door close, she knew he would not be back to comfort her that night.
She remained in the same position on the bed, staring blindly at the ceiling, as all the light in the room faded. Eventually the tears dried up and in the darkness her exhausted body demanded sleep.
The early morning sunlight streaming through the windows woke her. Sometime in the night she had curled up into a tiny ball. As she stretched, the soreness brought back every painful memory of the night before. She rose from the bed and walked slowly through the house, hoping to find him there waiting for her. Dismayed at his absence, she moved almost in a trance to the bathroom to shower and prepare her body in the manner he preferred. When she finished, she dried off but did not dress. She gathered a pen and paper and sat down to write him a letter...
Dear Sir,
I'm a sorry to be a disappointment to you. You are correct, I can not ever completely escape from my past. But I can become a better person if you will help me. Please teach me. Help me to grow and become whole again.