Once upon a time, in a castle on a mountain surrounded by forests there lived a beautiful young girl called Princess Lilla who everyone fell in love with until they met her and realised what a spoiled, vicious tongued, vindictive, vile little madam she really was.
Her father loved her and would do anything for her because she was completely impossible if he didn't, and her mother left years ago because she couldn't stand the constant tantrums.
Meanwhile at the edge of the same forest near Reinsburg lived a poor blacksmith called Druisberger Grorsdorf who didn't have much money, "Oh!" the people would say, "He's a poor blacksmith, he's clumsy and lazy and charges too much," so they all went to the blacksmith at Kreigsblatter instead.
Druisberger Grorsdorf had an adopted son called Henning a strong lad, tall and brave and honest, blonde haired and blue eyed, who Duisberger and his wife Gerda bought from the orphange when they needed someone to chop wood for them.
One day Henningwas chopping wood when the Royal Carriage carrying Princess Lilla stopped at their door. "I say, you there," the Coachman shouted, in prussian, "My off lead has thrown a shoe."
"I shall get my father!" Henning agreed, and he ran to where his father was drinking bier.
"Father, father the Royal carriage is without, a horse needs shoeing." Henning shouted.
"I haven't had my tea yet," Henning's father said, "I'll do it Thursday."
Henning rushed back, "My father says he is having his tea and can't do it until Thursday," he said stupidly instead of pretending his father had died or had the plague or was out or something.
"Stupid boy, fetch your master," The Coachman ordered.
"I'm here, like I said I haven't had my tea come back Thursday," Grosdorf insisted, "Did you hear."
"Coachman, did that man defy you," Princess Lilla asked as she pulled down the carriage window.
"Indeed madam," the coachman said to the pretty young princess, as she gazed at Henning and his father.
"Then have the small one whipped and the old one hung." she said, "Walk on."
The father shook his head, the angelic princess was a little monster he decided, stupid child, but Henning was troubled, though he hadn't really had a girlfriend yet, some strange feelings stirred within him.
Haflinger the kings favourite grey carriage horse who had been off-side lead horse that day had not only thrown a shoe but had badly cracked his hoof and it went septic and he had to be put down and the king was very sad, "Daddy if the blacksmith had mended Haflinger as I asked he wouldn't have died."
"Yes dearest," King Gregor IV agreed as he found it easiest to do when dealing with Lilla.
"I said the little boy should be whipped and the father man should be hung." Lilla added.
"Yes dearest," the king agreed looking for a quiet life.
"Can we have a hanging daddy, can we please for my birthday?" Lilla asked.
"No dearest," the King stated.
"But Daddy that's not fair!" Lilla cried, "I never have any nice things!"
"You had a cat!" he explained.
"Apart from the cat," she said petulantly, "And I wanted a Prince not a cat."
"You are too young for Princes Lilla," her father lied, he just simply couldn't find a Prince that hadn't heard of her as her reputation had spread far and wide.
"But Daddy!" she whined.
"All right, we'll hang the blacksmith." he agreed, anything for a quiet life, and signed the death warrant that Lilla had done in lovely pastel shades in oil paint and crayon.
The King sent some soldiers for the Blacksmith, Henning answered the door, "Death warrant for Herr Grosdorf," the soldier said loudly.
"Dad, There's a soldier here with a death warrant for you," Henning shouted.
"Right," he agreed, "Get him some special brew while I get my pants on."
"Come in," said Henning innocently and got out the flagon of special brew from the crude wooden cupboard beside the stone sink next to the range in the small but well equipped kitchen.
"Down it in one my boy, like a man," Henning's father shouted, and the soldier and his friends gave a toast to the king and downed the liquid in a single gulp.
Henning alone realised something was wrong, the special brew was dissolving his pewter tankard, and he stared as the soldiers clutched at their throats and collapsed screaming in agony.
"Father we have killed the soldiers!" Henning exclaimed.
"Good, you mind the shop, your mother and me will go to visit uncle Willi for a few days," the Blacksmith insisted.
"But Father he lives in outer Silesia!" Henning complained, "More than twenty Kilometers!"
"Make it eight hundred," Herr Grosdorf muttered, "Look after the shop lad."
"But Hans, we cannot leave the lad!" Frau Grosdorf exclaimed.
"I can," he replied, "We can always adopt another," he said sadly knowing full well that a dose of the Austrian clap had left him impotent.
"Look after the shop, we wont be long," Frau Grosdorf said, "We'll borrow the soldiers horses." she added.
"Yes stack the bodies neatly outside," Herr Grosdorf told Henning, "Oh and Herr Goerbals is coming for his gate tomorrow, don't forget."
"But father!" Henning complained.
"We'll be back when the fuss dies down." Herr Grosdorf suggested and as with frantic activity his parents packed their belongings for their "Holiday" so Henning stacked the soldiers bodies into neat piles beside the forge wall.
The search party came with the dawn and dragged poor Henning to the castle, "He has killed the soldiers my Lord!" their captain admitted to the king.
"What all ten?" he asked, "Why?"
"Answer Lad," the captain ordered.
"My Mother slew them with a magic spell." Henning said.
"Indeed, the mother woman is indeed an old witch!" the Captain agreed.
"Daddy, that's the boy I want whipped!" Princess Lilla said when she head the raised voices.
"Whipped, hung more like.!" the King insisted.
"No, I said whipped not hung Daddy," Lilla insisted, "Why don't you ever do anything right."
"But I got you cat!" he insisted.
"But its no fun," Lilla cried, "Aunt Hilda said it's the most fun in the world playing with your pussy but this one is just boring."
"Only since you broke all its legs throwing it off the highest turret to see if would fly." he muttered, "But if you just want whipped then whipped he shall be."
And so Lilla quite unintentionally saved Hennings life.
Henning remembered that day he was whipped, his backside bared in the Castle courtyard before all the servants and lords and the heavy leather strap slashed across his buttocks, he felt feelings he had never felt before and afterwards he found his balls had dropped.
They let him go afterwards, bleeding and with his breeches round his knees he staggered through the snow, and the mud and the darkness of the forest and went home to get drunk.
Lilla was still not satisfied, "Why do all the poor people look so happy?" She asked her father as she saw the men singing as they went to work in the forest.
"They don't have children?" he suggested.
"And the children, are happy too!" she added.
"Perhaps it's because they don't have boring daddies and strict heartless governesses," the King suggested.
"I wish I was poor," Lilla sighed.
The King thought a moment, and then made his way to the library where he looked for a book he read many years before, he wished he had bothered to put them back on the shelves in the right places, or on the shelves instead of stacked in a corner, but eventually he found it, battered and torn under a pile of unpaid bills in a packing case by the window.
"The Prince and the Pauper," he read, "Oh my what a tale!" and he accidentally left it in Lilla.s bedroom, where she couldn't help but find it.
Lilla found the old book, it was battered and torn so she used it for throwing at the cat!
"Lilla, what are you doing?" Carmen her governess asked.
"Playing with my pussy," she said, "Of course."
"Lilla you must not," Carmen cried until she saw the poor cat trying to crawl away on its four broken legs, "Ah throw that old and very valuable book." she said.
"Why?" Lilla asked.
"Ah it is a fairy tale about a Prince who change places with a poor boy and has lots of fun." Carmen explained just like the King had told her to.
"Ha!" Lilla cried, "A Fairy tale nothing like that could ever happen in the real world."
"Oh but it could," Carmen replied, "Just imagine a prince, or princess dressed in rags they don't have to keep clean, happily singing carols in the snow with all the other happy children."
"Yes!" Lilla agreed, "Tell father I shall go Carol singing!"
"But princess, you would spoil it for the other children." Carmen explained.
"Why?" Lilla asked.
Because you are such a miserable little bitch, Carmen thought, but she kept it to herself and said "Ah because you are a princess they would have to do as you said and that's no fun."
"Right!" Lilla agreed. "So the Prince disguises himself as a poor man?"
"A servant yes." Carmen agreed.
"So how did he find servants clothes?" Lilla asked.
"Oh they are everywhere, look there is a set here in your closet." Carmen explained and she showed Lilla the set of rags she had made earlier.
"But I look like a Princess!" Lilla cried, "I would look odd."
"You could dye your hair using your father's hair dye." Carmen suggested.
"Yes!" she said, "Then I could sneak out and join the Carol singers!"
"Oh yes," Carmen agreed, "What fun!"
"Well don't stand there get fathers hair dye!" Lilla ordered, and Carmen quickly filled Lilla's bath with hot water and tipped a large ball of soot and some Linseed oil into it until it looked and smelled revolting and then she ladled it over Lillas golden ringlets until her hair looked like a filthy black mess.
"Oh Princess you look just like a filthy peasant!" Carmen cried, "Try the smock."
Quickly Lilla stepped out of her royal robes and put on a simple servants smock. "Oh Lilla you look just like a peasant, except your royal stockings and shoes slip them off."
"Now do I look like a peasant?" Lilla asked.
