The Plunge Days 04-06

/** This is a real life story that is ongoing and a way for me to write about what's going on with my little online adventure journal style with the D/s world. It's the most I'm willing to jump into for now but so far it is turning out to be quite an experience already. Feel free to comment. **/

It's been 6 days since I started this and the week is still not over. Well, it will be today but I'll have to write about today...tomorrow? The past couple of days have not gone well.

First, I had to deal with chafing a few days ago. Since I'm not allowed to wear underwear, not only is my pussy and ass more sensitive to being in contact with non smooth surfaces (like seams in shorts, jeans, my own thighs?) but now I have to deal with too much rubbing on the skin down there. I guess my skin down there is just not used to being in contact with rougher surfaces. Never thought my shorts would be considered a rough surface but compared to my nice smooth panties, I guess they are.

For almost the entire past six days, my pussy was literally leaking throughout the day and I was pretty sure I was going to get caught when I went out but I never did.

The other day he changed things a little and whether it was his intention or not, he gave me a little relief by telling me to use my dildo. I had previously told him I had one but that it was a little big for me and so I rarely used it. Only problem is he said I had to use it for five minutes; which at first sounded good, until I started to use it. Five minutes fucking myself is apparently an extremely long time. Especially with this dildo that had soft ridges in it that did not feel so soft anymore inside my pussy. I could feel every ridge stretching out my pussy and half way through my time I realized I wouldn't be able to fuck myself enough to cum, and it was too big for me to take in at a good rhythm to get there. After I was done my hole was slightly sore and stayed that way, aching and lubing itself with my juice through the next day. I didn't think that using that thing would do much but I really did still feel like I had been just fucked through the next day.

Yesterday we started another upgraded challenge too. Well it's not really a challenge, I am just calling it that. But basically he told me to keep the ben wa balls inside me almost all day. Butt plug in at night to sleep. Still no cumming. Once it was bed time I could take them out and fuck myself with the dildo for ten minutes. Again, it was an excruciatingly long time to fuck myself. And today my pussy still feels like it was stretched open by a huge cock for hours last night. And the dildo is not even that thick – it is just tight for me. The dimensions he described his cock as made his cock sound even thicker than my dildo.

Yesterday was pretty bad personally too due to some personal family problems. I had to basically drop what I was doing and go across town for a family member who was having a crisis. Regardless of doing that, I didn't take the balls out and they stayed as a pleasant distraction in my cunt all day. I couldn't message him or e-mail him though throughout the day until really late. Despite how much I really wanted to finish this week strong, I told him I probably couldn't now because...well, I don't want to cum all over myself while discussing stuff with family members. So now I am waiting on him to decide what to do because of this hiatus.

The past few days he also asked me to start calling him Master and referring to him as such. I agreed and had no problem with it, which surprised me a little. It still feels weird to call someone that but it does help me to stick to his rules. He also started to refer to my body and body parts as "his." Or belonging to him. It is very different to hear someone else refer to my pussy as theirs.

I'm not sure if I like it or not but I have to admit it does make my pussy have this butterflies-squeemish feeling in it when he says those things. Does it make sense to say that my pussy "melts" like someone's heart melts when they like something? I don't know if that even makes any sense.

I think when I ended up in places I did not expect was when it felt more real. I went out thinking I was running an errand or two and ended up clear across town on a semi emergency. I was not expecting that and with my pussy soaking wet, the vibrating of the weights in the ben wa balls were a VERY clear reminder that my pussy was occupied and being used for him, regardless of what else I was doing. Not only that but I did end up staying out all day and so there wasn't much I could do about it, either. Every time I felt them, I just got more wet thinking about it even if just briefly. When I realized I was being kept wet and stimulated and there was nothing I could do was probably the first time I actually felt like I was under his control or owned in a way.

I'm curious to see what happens these next few days and I am kind of proud I got through the week for the most part without quitting. It didn't end the way I wanted it to but shit happens. I don't think I've ever been so obedient in my life before and as someone who doesn't have that high of a sex drive, I am surprised I've been kept horny for days. Yesterday it donned on me I didn't really have a specific idea of what exactly I was being "trained" for. I mean I guess I didn't think of sex related "play" like this as "training" but realizing I was being kept wet and horny for days made me think a little differently. And then thinking that he was training my holes to stay stimulated or take prescribed masturbating or fucking only made me feel even more submissive.

When we first started talking I admitted to my little sleep sex fantasy. Which now I am not sure if it is a good thing he knows but I suppose it is too late for regrets. I confessed that I sometimes day dream or fantasize about waking up feeling 'off' and then not realizing I was fucked until I could feel cum slowly oozing out of me throughout the morning and day. Of course I don't think this would ever really happen in real life to me (cause it's kind of like rape so I hope not...) but if it did it would be planned and probably with someone I'm married to. He mentioned that if we met (we live only a handful of hours away) he would be inclined to carry out that scenario if I fell asleep in his presence. I am not sure if that will ever happen, but wrong and crazy or not it makes me want to cream my pants thinking that it's a real possibility.