"This is so good, Cope" said Nora Price to F.X. Copeland, the Craftsman of the PainCafe's Dungeonopolis Gift Shop.
"I've heard such good things about the FunSack from my friends Celestine and Francie."
"It's such a success here in town."
Cope grinned as he dropped the small envelope of crickets and red ants into the wire Trouble FunSack.
"Yeah. Their husbands really reacted, I tell ya, to the FunSackTM.
Especially Miss McKenzie, Mr. Mac, he had to be put in a straitjacket to take his first FunSack pouching."
Cope smiled.
"An, not only here in Buttermilk Falls, but across the river, in Steerforth, they're sellin' the Funsack too."
Nora smiled warmly.
"Yes, Francie told me that!
And it was so great that you had a straitjacket in your van, Cope.
I know Benny can stand still without a straitjacket, no matter what the FunSack offers him, can't you honey?"
Nora asked this warningly, and Benny, her loving husband nodded reluctantly.
Nora had just had her little black baby with her lover, Maynard, but then he'd gotten freaked out about the BDSM thing.
Yes and taken little six week old Lystrada and run off to his Baptist mother's in Valstoda, Georgia.
Benny was so glad to have Nora's undivided attention again that he was being very good about the FunSack thing...
But it wasn't a pleasant experience!
Benny was really beginning to wonder, though whether Nora had a resentment against him.
She had told him that her friend Celestine had put a glass rod into her husband's urethra.
Yes, pushed the rod all the way into his penis, and then hit the poor guy's dick with a hammer...
And that seemed a little over the top!
Benny felt terribly sorry for Celestine's husband, the former Father Commerce O'Casey.
Commerce had met Celestine while picketing an abortion clinic.
Even before he'd entered the priesthood, Commerce had been very Catholic, and quite conservative.
He'd owned three T-shirts, one that said "Feminists are Bigots" another "Homosexual Behavior is Wrong" and the third just had horrible photo of an aborted fetus.
Celestine was going into the Buttermilk Falls Women's Health Center when Father Commerce accosted her, and he convinced Celestine to have her baby instead...
Sure, and the more time he spent with her, the more in love with her Commerce became...
Until finally he left the priesthood to marry Celestine, an enchanting redhead.
The first thing that Commerce had discovered was, that Celestine was still living with the father of her baby, a peculiar fellow known as "Trust Fund Traddles".
Traddles was obviously a sexual submissive, as Celestine lived in Traddles's house...
Ah, but only allowed Traddles to use one small room in his own place.
Traddles was kept naked in that room, only being allowed to leave to use the facilities.
But, as Celestine explained to Commerce, since he'd left the priesthood...
Commerce should be happy that Traddles would be supporting the two of them on his means as a remittance man.
But then Celestine also explained as the senior slave in the house, Traddles would be supervising Commerce.
The first thing that happened had been that Traddles began using a cane on Commerce's bare buttocks.
Yes and forcing him to clean and cook and look after the yard.
Yes and also that Commerce would have to sexually satisfy Traddles, as frankly, Celestine was done with him!
"Bitch, you're going to suck my cock and balls while I watch my soap operas."
Traddles told this to Commerce the first evening.
"I watch 'All My Children', 'As the World Turns' and several others, and I want you to amuse my groin as much as possible."
Learning to suck cock had been difficult for Commerce, as he had very firm opinions about homosexuality.
But Traddles, already quite disappointed at Celestine's closing her legs, began making Commerce fellate him every day.
Sometimes after several hours of watching soap operas, Traddles would quiz Commerce on the shows.
But of course Commerce's mouth had been full with Traddles's wee-wee.
He hadn't focused on what Jessica was doing to Jake on "General Hospital".
At some point, Traddles also began tying poor Commerce down and corn holing Commerce's tight little asshole.
Right, and often making Commerce wear makeup and a blonde bouffant wig, and answering to the name "Cynthia".
When Celestine was home, Traddles was forced to stay in his room.
Celestine got sick of seeing Traddles around, although of course she couldn't evict him from his own home.
He was signing his checks from Dad over to Celestine and Commerce, and thus he was quite useful.
But Celestine was pretty hard on Traddles.
Sometimes would invite the other dominant girls in the neighborhood over to play poker.
Oh and they'd make Traddles and the unfortunate Commerce wait on them hand and foot, dressed in drag.
So when Celestine was out of the house, Traddles took his resentments out on Commerce, and made Commerce the bitch boy's bitch boy...
No, it was not a pleasant experience for the former priest.
Commerce had gone through seventeen years of seminary studies to become a Jesuit priest.
And now he'd had to re-subjugate himself to Traddles, who really enjoyed making poor Commerce bounce!
Celestine knew that Traddles was making life difficult for Commerce, but her feeling was, it wasn't her fault.
Commerce had told Celestine that he wanted to live the life that she lived.
Oh and she'd skipped the damn abortion, and now he could do some suffering as well.
After Commerce became more adept at servicing Traddles, Celestine had dressed Commerce up further.
Ah, in shiny satin dresses and heavy makeup, and began taking him to singles bars and encouraging him to blow men in her car.
Sometimes they would double-date.
When Celestine didn't feel like putting out for her boyfriend of the evening...
Celestine would have Commerce, called "Consuela" blow both men and thank them for the privilege.
In time, Traddles saw a way to make up for the fact that Celestine had basically appropriated his allowance.
Yes, and made "Consuela" fellate various neighbor men for twenty bucks each .
And in fact began putting the phone number on walls...
When Celestine found out about this, she became enraged.
Oh and they moved out of Traddles's house, and got a house of their own.
Commerce went to work teaching theology at Buttermilk State University.
Commerce was so happy that he was done with Trust Fund Traddles...
But of course he still had Celestine to reckon with!
Commerce really wanted Celestine badly.
She was beautiful, and had high full breasts and a seductive manner.
Sometimes, to amuse herself she would tie Commerce down on the floor and rub her pink toes up and down his hard cock.
Making him beg for the privilege of further attentions.
But other times, Celestine would put on combat boots and kick and stomp Commerce's balls and cock.
After all, she was Queen here, and wasn't going to take any shit from a former theologian.
"I didn't want to get involved with all this shit, Commerce" Celestine would lecture.
"You want me to be a good Madonna, well, you're going to have to pay for it, see?"
After Celestine had her baby, she had told Commerce that she didn't want to have another.
Since his Catholic beliefs were all about sex for reproduction only, the best thing she could do was discourage his carnal interests in her.
This was difficult, since the shapely Celestine had immediately gotten her figure back after giving birth to little Esmeralda.
And liked wandering around the house in sexy lingerie.
It also troubled Commerce that his wife had not stopped dating, and that she was using Norplant, a contraceptive that one injected in their arm.
But, as Celestine explained to Commerce, she was not a Catholic, and had her own ideas about birth control.
He could stay home and babysit when she dated, and then clean her up with his tongue when she came home.
Commerce began performing oral sex on Celestine regularly.
The Bible and the Baltimore Catechism both prohibited the spilling of semen.
But the Sins of Onan had little to do with Celestine's orgasms, so she could cum as often as she liked!
Commerce and Benny had become friends, as their wives were close.
Commerce had told Benny about how Celestine had helped to discourage his interest by tying him up in his workshop.
Sure, squeezing Commerce's balls in his carpenter's vice...
And then whipping his hard cock with a piece of fiberglass!
But Celestine had caught Commerce trying to enter her while she was sleeping, and so then she'd gone to the PainCafe's Dungeonopolis Gift Shop.
There she'd purchased a chastity device for Commerce.
Which had helped a little bit, but of course he still had had continual impure thoughts.
Celestine, ever concerned for the quality of Commerce's immortal soul, had tied her ex-priest husband to the bed and put needles and pins into his cock and balls.
Oh and then whacked the pincushioned groin with a riding crop until Commerce had burst into tears!
But, as Celestine had pointed out to Commerce, his mind was off her full perky breasts that had made him want to masturbate so many times...
And masturbation was illegal!
Celestine had made love to Commerce only once, for seventy-two hours after their wedding.
Then she'd shut him off, telling him that he had to stay pure to impress the saints and all that sort of thing.
Yes, and of course Commerce could never get his mind off Celestine's beautiful body!
It probably didn't help that Commerce regularly was giving her full body massages, manicures, pedicures and lots of oral attention.
Celestine would occasionally lock Commerce's hands over his head and inspect his "bad" penis.
She would rub and stroke it with her soft hands and long French nails.
But when he got too excited and the precum started coming out.
But Celestine would begin to worry that the seed was going to escape.
So this would send poor Commerce to Purgatory when he died.
Yes and then she would begin once again, shoving pins and needles into Commerce's penis and balls, which did a good job of wilting him...
Celestine was also a two pack a day Lucky Strike smoker.
Celestine enjoyed putting her cigarettes out on Commerce's cock and balls when he was tied up.
