The Physical

My annual physical had been scheduled for months and like most people I showered, put on clean underwear, and headed to my appointment. Normal stuff was expected. The waiting room was not too crowded, and they took me back only 10 minutes late. The nurse practitioner, Jane, performing the exam was familiar to me and she was laid back and jumped right into the question part before the exam. Being in great health and a non-smoker, non-drug user made the Q&A fly.

And then she asked, "Are you sexually active?" Being a bit taken off-guard by that, my interpretation was "Do you have regular sex."

I said "YES."

She then asked, "How many partners?"

Again, caught off guard, I laughed and said, "With my wife and not multiple partners; I am active with my wife."

She chucked just a bit, but the truth had not been told.

I had a lover and she wanted me to be more obedient to being a submissive man. We were both careful and STDs were not an issue that I needed to discuss, I had been tested and retested for STDs with my mistress. While my mistress was not a Dom, she was a "switch" and wanted me to learn to take commands and orders on demand, but she didn't want to train me, she wanted me to willingly do it and she was not interested in binding me to get her way. She wanted kink and an obedient man at times, and I was certainly attentive in so many ways, she wanted more surrender.

And as the short version of these thoughts went through my head, she asked the add-on question, "Any sexual issues?"

I paused a few seconds, looked at the ceiling, rolled my eyes and looked away in a typical avoidance behavior and thought "Why not say something about this situation," but I needed to twist the truth a bit. And so, I explained it like this.

"My wife has some desires to do some kinky stuff with me, to have me submissive and while I am a guy that is gentle or rough and I even lick everywhere, she wants more. She wants to take me... ummmm, take me with a strap-on and dong, both orally and anally and more. She is not interested in forcing this on me, she wants me to initiate it and make it happen and I am just NO on this stuff. I have been bound and forced, but she hates that."

Jane chimed in after her too long pause and said, "I see. This is not that unusual; people often seek more adventure as they get older, and variety or changes are intriguing to some. Others are in a same-old-same mode, it just varies by person and by couple, nothing is normal for some and others are sort of "vanilla" in their sex lives. Have you had a long discussion with her about this?"

"Yeah, I have," I said. "She and I discuss this often and it is a bit of an argument in the bedroom. She is not interested in forcing me to do this stuff, she wants me to initiate it and to ask for it. She wants submission and not to negotiate. I want her to be happy, I am a good lover, and I don't put-off sex, it is just that she has this need that I am not into it willingly. Unrelated, this is not exactly part of my physical and I am telling you about my personal sex life, it's a bit embarrassing."

Jane responded with "I see your points and I am not here to judge. We medical practitioners hear it all. The wife hates sex, the husband is boring, the wife is demanding, and on and on. Nothing to be embarrassed about, we really hear it all. In some cases, we suggest couples counseling with typical marriage counseling practitioners. In your case, I have a very specific practitioner to recommend. The practice is run by all women and they deal with certain sexuality issues, phobias, and disorders. The practice is run by Dr. Marcus, MD, PhD and all the practitioners are graduates of the prestigious Kinsey Institute from Indiana. I'll get you the number and sign the referral for you if you are interested."

The rest of the questions and physical were normal stuff, testicles for hernia, rectal exam, EKG and blood work paperwork handed to me. Jane prompted me "Do you want that referral processed?" and I said "Sure."