The Perfect Beginning

This is the 4th installment of an ongoing story about Michele a and Tim. For sure, it is a disturbing relationship and is in no way intended to describe something healthy or ideal. Emotional sadism is central to it all. If this bothers you, this is not the story for you and I suggest you venture elsewhere.

What makes the story interesting to me is what takes place in the minds of the characters. Without words and ideas and the feelings that go with them, it's all just mechanics and honestly, that's not so interesting to me. Simple, pure fucking is a great thing to do. I don't need to read about it. Perhaps when I was verrrrrrrry young, that alone would have intrigued me. Now...yawn. This is a dark, emotional journey. I hope you enjoy it.

The following preface is cut and pasted from installment II. For a more comprehensive understanding of their world, you can venture back to the first installment. Read it or skip it.

This story takes place in a very male dominant society, one which is even more patriarchal than our own. Our hero, Michele, is enchanted by the discovery of her own sexual super power. Poor, lucky Tim, on the other hand comes to realize that he falls under Michels's spell, he does not measure up to societal expectations. These two young people are discovering and becoming as they grow together as a couple.

Psychological conflict and tension are central themes in this saga.

*

The story has been formatted to meet the publishing requirement of our host and I am hopeful the necessary kinks have been worked out.

A more complete preface can be found at the beginning of the first installment and if you did not read it, it could be helpful to do so. Here are some of the contextual parameters of the fictional world the story takes place within.

* People are legal adults at 18 years of age.

* People usually live to about 2,000 years of age.

* The cultural norm has almost all legal adults living with their family of origin until they turn 200 years old.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 are treated as and referred to as children when they choose to continue living with their parents.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 often behave much as we would expect teenagers to behave here in our world. They are kept in a state of arrested emotional development.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 years customarily consume "blockers" which prevent them from having sexual feelings or impulses.

* Often young people will begin to "date" around 160 yers of age and while they are expected to continue to take their blockers, some will surreptitiously stop taking them while a few will stop responding to them.

* Age and masculinity are revered in this world. Everybody looks up to their elders and few seriously question the patriarchy.

All characters in the story are over 18 years of age.

It is customary for those below the age of 200 to demonstrate their status by wearing clothing which signify to others that they are off limits. They would wear what we would think of as children's clothing. Remember, an 18 year old and a 1,900 year old would look exactly the same age, so children's clothes are very useful for signaling to those over 200 years to abstain from any romantic or sexual pursuit of another who was deemed of an inappropriate age.

Lastly, sex is not technically illegal for people between the ages of 18 and 200 years. It is considered profoundly taboo. Adult-children (18+) do have sex but it is kept very quiet. Some parents punish their children for engaging in this sinful pleasure and adult-children almost never tell-on one another in this regard, even those who might not like one another. Adult children live by a code and violation of said code subjects one to complete ostracization. Almost none experiment until they are well over 160 years old.

****

Dear reader,

This section is a bit of a set up. If combined with the "action," it might get a bit long.

***

Although totally obscene, she sometimes found herself watching Tanya's dog Rex as he licked his own doggy cock.  She was fascinated by this idea that though it likely felt wonderful for poor Rexy, he could never seem to get off on it, shoot his doggy cum.

She wished Tim could lick himself the same way.  It would be so fun to just watch him drive himself crazier and crazier with sexual need and not be able to get off.

No sucking, just licking.  Yeah.

Maybe some day she'd be able to figure something out that approximated what Rexy did, yet with Tim.

Withholding Tim's orgasm created what Michele eventually called "The Cycle of Need," or just "The Cycle."  Not allowing Tim to orgasm, caused him to be more sexual.  The more sexual he got, the more submissive and subservient he became.  The more subservient he became the more he seemed to need to pleasure Michele.  The more he got to pleasure Michele, the more aroused he became.

In the beginning, Michele got pretty carried away with the sex, and the power too.  She did discover a limit to it all after she lost count of her orgasms over the course of an entire sexual week, in which he seemed to be getting her off every couple of hours.

Although exhausting and very intense, Michele had a wonderful time.  Poor Tim's balls just got bigger and bigger as his arousal just built continuously over the week.  Since he did not get to orgasm himself, the more he made her cum, the more he needed to make her cum.

To regular guys, arousal meant sex and ultimately orgasm, which served to temporarily alleviate their need and emotional attachment.

With Tim, arousal inspired a profound desire to make Michele cum.  He was clearly addicted her her orgasms.

Michele marveled at the general effect The Cycle had, but always giggled when she saw how swollen and painful his balls got.  The more aroused he got, the more orgasms she got!  It was perfect.  After he'd been in The Cycle for so long, she'd have her fill of him and either push him away or allow him to cum, (never shy of his fourteen day sentence).

In short, Tim's chastity made her more powerful and both of them more horny.  Michele had enjoyed an amazing amount of power in their relationship, but after having Tim go without orgasm for just a couple of days, she realized a completely new level of control and she could not have been happier.

And yet there was another wonderful and totally unexpected outcome from all this withholding of orgasms.  He became much more emotional, much more like a teen girl.

It did not make him in any way effeminate, just more emotional.  He was just hyper emotional and extremely emotionally sensitive.  Sexually, he was perpetually "in heat", and emotionally, he was a love struck, completely emotionally insecure, teen girl!

She liked to think of him as being in heat because it was a distinctly female reference that suggested a base animalistic need that made him way more vulnerable to her manipulations and overt commands.

Beyond that really, it was as though he was reading her moods better and became much better at understanding what a "look" from Michele meant.

Oh my god, he's totally changing!

He sort of reminded her of a girl from school she knew named Lisa, an absolutely boy-crazy, insanely emotional girl who absolutely lived for "the call."  Lisa was a type of Kimberly.  When a guy asked for her number, she sat by her phone and waited anxiously and she was so insecure that if he did call, she'd do anything for him.

Pathetic.

Anyway, Michele knew that if she did not put limits on this, if she failed to give him very firm and clear behavioral boundaries, he would start to annoy her.  Yet if she could manage it, then, well...she'd really like it!  Since she was so possessive to begin with, she kind of liked that her already extremely dependent boy became somehow more dependent upon her.

I am his emotional life support.

When not with Michele, Tim swung between happy, cheerful and gentle to impatient, short tempered and whiny.  If he'd been a young lady, most would say he was being a weak, bitchy little girl.  The fact was, he was a moody, hormonal, bitchy little girl.

Yet as soon as he saw Michele, the joy of seeing her coupled with a subconscious understanding that he could not be moody around her, caused him to be the eager to please, perky boy she expected him to be.

When discussing it with her mother, she learned that Tim was sort of behaving like Michele had before her relationship with Tim.  He'd go from being very easy and cheerful to being suddenly very anxious and impatient and short tempered.

Donna compared his behavior to a teen girl who was in the grip of powerful hormonal surges who was also finding it difficult to accept her relative powerlessness.

He always tried to be on his best behavior in front of Michele, but on several occasions he became quite testy and short around Donna.  He knew not to direct it at Donna as that would not be tolerated, but he assumed a bit more freedom of expression around her.

Donna learned the best thing was to just remind him to behave or she'd have to speak with Michele when she came home.  "Watch your tone, little boy or I'll have a word with Ms. Michele," or  "Careful little boy or I'll have a word with your Babysitter," or her favorite, "Now, now, little-one, does somebody need a spanking?"

Donna was fond of these occasions and it always put a superior smirk on her face.  The threat of a spanking always got his attention, helped him find his submissive baring and made his penis stretch his Kitties.  Of course Donna loved speaking to him this way, but she grew tired of just threatening him as she longed to spank the boy herself.

She wanted to be his Mother.  And how she wanted to express her love for her son!

And Tim was developing feelings for Donna as well.

He was not in love with her as Michele was the only one for him.  It was more like a growing fondness, appreciation, emotional dependence and sexual attraction.

On the one hand, she could be so overbearing and dominant; yet she could also be so warm and caring in a very maternal way.  Tim felt like she mothered him and he took comfort from that, came to need it.

And of course there was always the sexually attraction to Donna.  When he was with Michele, there was only one sun in his solar system, but when she wasn't home, and Donna was home lording over him...  He felt guilty about it, but he could not help it.

She owned her own women's fitness business and had a body most teen girls would kill for.  When he could masturbate freely, he frequently did so with Donna's teasing voice in his head or with the images and comforting feelings of her mothering care.

When alone in the house with Donna, Tim gravitated toward her and was comforted by her confidence and general dominance.

In some ways, she seemed of a different era. She projected a sort of old-timey waspish superiority born from the certainty of her religion and values. She knew how things were supposed to be and how people "should" behave. She had high expectations of him and though difficult, bending to her expectations felt good to the boy.

****

Since Michele's relationship with Tim served as the basis for Michele and Krista's psychological study, Michele kept Krista fully informed of everything that went on in the relationship that she thought would add to their future business endeavor.

Of course Krista was thrilled on a personal level with the latest chapter in her best friend's relationship and quest for empowerment.  It was obvious to both women that controlling a man's release would be something they'd need to study as a method for control of men.

Yet of specific interest to Krista was the almost casual reference to how Tim seemed to be emulating the emotional temperament and sensitivity of a teen girl.

As far as Michele was concerned, Tim was as much a girl as she'd want.  That is to say that aside from the fact that he wore girly undies and assumed traditional female duties in her home and was the most love struck, submissive little girl half the time they were in bed, he was all guy.  She saw Kimberly sometimes, but mostly Tim was still all boy.  And Michele wanted to keep the boy in her boyfriend.

Krista on the other hand, was developing a taste for a different flavor.  Although she did not have a steady relationship, she'd done plenty of experimenting since she befriended Michele.

She'd had and very much valued having men on their knees and in her thrall.  Subservient men suited her.  She did not keep any of them as she was not in love and at the moment, love was seen as an inconvenience she'd rather do without.  She smiled beyond a trail of tears.

And then there were the girls.  She'd always kept this desire closeted as it was her secret shame.  Since befriending Michele, that began to change.  Maybe it was alright after all.  She loved Michele's freedom to be who she was and admired her dear friend for her self acceptance.  It inspired Krista and gave her courage.

Once she held her passion up to the light of day and embraced it, it no longer felt like courage, more like just acceptance.  It was easy.

Krista liked guys and was attracted to them physically and emotionally, but girls were who she really wanted.  She was slowly coming to realize that she wanted a female equivalent of Tim.

Additionally, if she was going to ever settle down with a guy, she'd want him to be submissive and fully feminized like Kimberly.  She'd require him to be a permanent and full time geishaboy.  He'd look like a man in public and he'd know how to fake being a guy, but in every way that mattered to Krista, he'd be a fully feminized girly-boy.  To her, it was very sustainable and very hot!

When Michele told her of Tim's difficult transition into chastity or controlled orgasms, it inspired Krista to explore a whole new venue for their practice.

*

"Honey, can we have a chat?"

Michele smiled.  When Krista spoke to her like they were a married couple it both filled her with mirth and gratitude.  She was so grateful to be spending so much of her time with a business and research partner that gave her life so much purpose.  Since they spent so much time together, they sometimes felt like a couple.  She loved Krista dearly.

"What's on your mind, darling?"

"I guess I should start by thanking you.  Honey, thank you so much for allowing me to council you and Tim and for letting me learn from you.  You are the most special woman, and I love you. I'm just grateful for being in your life. Thank you."

Michele was used to feeling pleased with herself and really appreciated Krista's affection.  She thought it was neat that Krista was considering her gratitude just as Michele was.  With a joyful smile, "I love you too, Krista."

"What you have done with Tim is a true inspiration to me...and...and I think it can be to other women as well...in ways we've not explored.  I've given this a great deal of thought and I want to run it by you.  I know I am asking a lot of you and if you are not comfortable with it, we'll just have to find another subject to work with.  Okay?"

Still smiling and very intrigued, "What are we talking about, Krista?"   Michele appreciated a direct approach.

"You have begun something special with Tim.  I mean...that's obvious.  You have done so many amazing things with that sweet boy of yours.

"But what I'm getting at is what you have done and continue to do with his gender identity.  He is all guy...but then you've helped him be a sort of part time girl, if that makes any sense.  He's not bi sexual, but he is becoming bi-gendered.  You are allowing him to be a boy but then you are making him into a girl...a sweet, submissive lesbian girl.  It's amazing.

"Not only do I want to study this and him, but I want your permission to participate in it."

"Go on?"

"I mean...now just think about this before you answer.  I know it is a lot.  I mean, I am asking your permission to do one-on-one sessions with Kimberly.  A bit with Tim too, but mostly with Kimberly.

"I want to spend time with her, developing her identity.  I don't want to do away with Tim...not at all.  It's just that when you want him to be Kimberly, I think I can help in this way.  I want to help you make him gender fluid.

"I think if it is done right, Tim can go on being all boy, but with the right triggers, Kimberly can be all girl...with no trace of Tim anywhere to be seen!  Working together, I think it is possible to not just get Tim to look and act like a girl, but to actually become a girl.

"I know this is a lot to digest but there is so much potential here.  Not only does it excite me personally, but I think there is so much potential for our future practice.

"Here is the truth, if I ever choose a man to be with, he'll have to be a Kimberly-boy.  It would be full time, one hundred percent geisha-boy.  The only reason he's a Kimberly-boy and not just Kimberly is because I'd want him to be able to pass in certain social situations, ones in which it is more comfortable for me to have him perceived by others as a boy.

"I'm into girls, Michele, but you know that.    At home, I'd want a sweet, submissive girly-boy...and I don't think I'm the only one.  Before coming to you, I ran this idea before some of the Ladies to get their opinion.  Several thought it was a wonderful idea.  Beatrice and Samantha came right out and said they'd love to have their own Kimberlys.

"And I know they are an unusual group of women, but it's women like these to whom we will be marketing books two and three.  Ultimately, I see it as an optional read, a single chapter in our books.  Hell, thinking about it, I think once we do enough study, it could easily be its own book.

"And I think we could develop this as a facet of of our therapy...for those who share my tastes.  Some would just want the product while others not only want the result, they too want to know they were responsible for the metamorphosis, that they did it to him. I'd be satisfying. It would be something she'd be proud of. Like, she murdered the boy but raised a girl to take his place, to take his body.

"We'd need to find the right combination of operant conditioning, hypnosis and direct girl training, but I think we can do it.  And when you want him to be, he'll be all boy.  I know how much you enjoy Tim's humiliation fetish and that won't go away just because we develop Kimberly.  While Kimberly will love being Kimberly, Tim will be fully aware of her and no less humiliated by his other side...at least if you are there to help him with that.

"He feels shame because he holds onto his silly notions of gender.  Although we agree that that in itself is primitive and ridiculous, the shame it engenders makes a marvelous control point over Tim and is well worth maintaining and even fostering."

"She smiled.  "And I feel this could help other women too; women like you who want to control their men, women who revel in power, women who were born to rule. Some of us just want what we want," she beamed.

"I know what I'm asking of you.  I know I'm asking you to trust me with your man.  But I know I'm worthy of trusting and pray you know that too.

"Besides, I could video tape all our sessions.  In fact, I'd have to because I'd need to review them with you.  We'd need to go over them together to create an effective method of conditioning and reprograming.

"I trust your instinct and insight more than my own.  You will see things I might miss.  I want you to be with me when planning each session.

Michele listened to it all with great intent.  Her hands were steepled at her chin with barely a hint of a smile playing on her beautiful mouth.  She liked this...she liked it a lot.  It was the video taping that assured her; this made it doable.  Besides, she knew Krista was attracted to Tim, but not specifically Tim.  It was more about a power relationship than Tim specifically.  She could work with this.