The trio glared at me across the table. Two product managers, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. And a new product owner --- a slim blonde number. Wonder where they got her from --- usually they are all so badly hard-up for proper people that... But never mind. This was the first time that we two shared a meeting. We'll see how it goes.
It had been a difficult day. Damn meeting after meeting after meeting. And every meeting just like the one before it. Arguments. Daft developers claiming that they want to change the design just a little to make it easier to dev. Daft product managers arguing for and against architecture decisions, trying to dictate what the solution needs to be. What is that makes them so pushy, it's not that they ever get anything right.
But they persisted in arguing with me over each and every simple and clear suggestion that, in the end, I banged my fist on the table and shouted at them - "What do you lot want? The next one who peeps his nonsense, I will personally catch him and spank him. Right. Right!? RIGHT!" As usual, the moment you raise your voice at them, the two Tweedles hung their heads and mumbled their OK's. So very expected. Can't argue themselves out of a corner. Or shout. Or pretty much anything.
I was leaning back into my seat when that blonde looked me in the eye and, quite deliberately, said "Peep!" I felt my anger rising, felt my face flush as I banged the table again, with the flat of my hand. And then - the ridiculousness of this all struck me. I almost burst out laughing. But only almost. For under the table, suddenly, her leg brushed mine. Maybe by accident. But, to judge by the cock of her eye, not by accident.
We ended the meeting on that note. Even the Tweedles seemed somewhat relieved by the end scene. But I... Well, I checked where the new PDO's office was. One floor up, in the west section. That one was not fully populated yet. Ah...
Come end of day, I went to to the third floor. The offices were already emptying as people were leaving. This is not a crunch period, so life balance is sufficiently acceptable. Her office - a dual occupancy - door was open. She was typing something into her computer and looked up as I entered.
I stepped forward, groped behind me and locked the door. The lock clicked and the little blonde number almost held back the flinch at the click. Almost. But not fully. I moved towards her desk, looking her over. She was wearing a light knit blouse, blue and white stripes. Offsets her blonde hair well, my-my. Smallish breasts, prominent nipples, yumm. Long black trousers with a simple belt. Low glitz count. All this as I was walking to her desk.