I am counting the minutes, sleepwalking through this day, not tasting the food I eat, not hearing people who talk to me. Fragments of your voice, your face, your low, warm laughter drift in, and out of my head. I watch the clock, will the hours to pass, wish that time would grow wings, and fly away so that my time with you comes nearer.
I have been wet the entire afternoon, my senses heightened, my nerves on edge. I feel like an addict, needing you, feeling the pangs of withdrawal when you leave me, and say the words that I hate to hear, wishing me well, saying goodbye. My mind is full of you, a constant awareness of you. Not that long ago I nearly lost you. I didn't want any part of what you were offering me.
I remember your first email, your comments about my profile picture on the Literotica website. I had almost forgotten that I had submitted a story late one night when I couldn't sleep. I was so surprised when you wrote to me, told me you that you thought I had fabulous boobs, and a fabulous smile. I remember the pang of regret when I discovered you live in England, the stirring of desire when you wrote that you envied my lovers, the deep disappointment when you told me that you are married.
I don't judge people who have affairs, I don't like to judge anyone, but I have never wanted a man enough to be his mistress, or to be the "other woman". Many married men have tried their luck, and I walk away every time. I like things as simple, and as uncomplicated in my life as I can. I am single, and I like my freedom, my space, I need my solitude, and the peace it offers me. For the last year, and a half I haven't had sex. I have a few cyber lovers and that gives me all the erotic pleasure I need, without all the fuss. So often the imagined lover is far more satisfying than the real one.
Yet I did agree to speak with you on Messenger, I loved your deep voice as you whispered lustfully about all the things you wanted to do to me, and you brought me closer, and closer to orgasm as I rubbed my clit, and pushed my fingers deep into my pussy. While I fingered myself, and listened to you moaning as you jerked off, you told me that you were looking at the pictures I had sent you of my tits, and my pussy, and I imagined that my fingers were your cock inside me, fucking me so mercilessly, so passionately. I had the most powerful orgasm I have ever experienced with a cyber partner. I wandered around for the rest of that day in a daze.
Then, a few sexy conversations on, you told me that you wanted to meet me when I visited England next, and guilt set in. I knew that I would meet you, let you fuck me, and commit adultery with me. I couldn't bring my self to carry on talking to you, as much as I wished I could. I wrote to you, and told you that I was sorry, that I had enjoyed our previous conversations, but that the fact that you were married was weighing on my conscience. You said that you wished it wasn't over so soon, that you were a bit shocked in fact because I seemed to be so into it, that I seemed to enjoy it as much as you, but you didn't push me. I put you out of my mind then. I had to. I didn't re- read your emails, I avoided Messenger, and I was miserable. I missed you.