The Other Me

Dear Journal,

I found myself upset most of yesterday. Leaving the house marked the beginning of a seemingly endless day. Freeway traffic was at a standstill for over an hour, finally out of traffic I caught every red light possible in the metro area, and arriving at work late made dealing with coworkers harder than normal, though I still remembered to wear my nice guy smile and bring in a box of eclairs, forgetting to take my own before my coworkers left me an empty box. I can recall wanting my day to end just as soon as it started. My long hard day of work only earned me a broken mirror, a flat tire, two lost credit cards and storm-like rain falling abruptly, with no warning. I had hoped slamming my house door would mark the end of my exhausting day. My girlfriend was usually home about a half an hour before I was, and she was in the kitchen cooking, and in a better mood than I was. I chose not to speak as I came in, instead I sat on the couch and rubbed my eyes. After what seemed like 5 minutes, a glass of Jack Daniels slid in front of my face, and my girlfriend began to rub my shoulders, wisely choosing not to ask what was wrong. I quickly swallowed the glass of Jack Daniels. She began to kiss my neck and cheek from behind to console me.

Journal, it is very important that you know of my girlfriend's quiet and passive demeanor, a good girl if you will, a perfect match to my conservative nice guy personality. As she continued to place kisses her hair fell forward towards my nose to tickle my face and give me a noseful of its aroma. I want to believe that it was my terrible day that made me get up from the couch, pull my girlfriend up by her arms and kiss her wildly as I backed her up against the wall. Where I had usually caressed her face and kissed her softly, I had a fistful of her hair, pulling it back as I sucked and bit her neck. I could feel her resisting in confusion, this only drove me more wild.

Journal, I want to believe it was the hour long traffic that made me rip her blouse and bra open and squeeze her nipples roughly as I kissed her neck. My girlfriend seemed turned on but worried, she struggled slightly but said nothing, she was always so supportive and quiet even when she didn't understand the situation. As I turned her around and glanced at her sweet face I felt compelled to push her down to her knees to where it made a loud thud on the carpeted floor, undo the button and zipper on my rain-soaked pants and push my dick into her warm mouth. She had gone down on me only a few times since we were together and I have to admit, I liked it more this time. Her hands were on my thighs attempting to free herself, instead I gripped the back of her head and forced myself further into her mouth as her face began to flush red.

I told myself it was the broken side mirror and flat tire on my car that made me push her onto the couch, grab her neck tightly, raise her skirt and move her panties aside as i plowed into her versus my normal thoughtful slow pace. As I angrily held her there and fucked her hard and fast I could feel her high heel pressing into the back of my thigh. A part of me was concerned, knowing that if I could not recognize myself at this moment, she certainly found me unfamiliar. My willing woman tried to control her breaths of ecstasy and fright, making no attempt to stop me from doing what I obviously felt I needed to be doing. She became more wet with each stroke and her body vibrated as she came, still worried where her normally reserved and gentle man was. I continued until I was near explosion, and pulled out to grab her head and once again find her mouth, the climax was unlike any I had felt before as I held her head so that every drop found the back of her throat. She gagged and pulled away with glossy eyes. I was treating my queen like a whore, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Was it the lost credit cards that made me turn her over and with only her spit to lubricate, push my rod into her ass and watch her attempt to catch her breath? I felt I was beside myself, unable to control my actions, part of me enjoying what was happening. I shocked myself by removing her blouse and putting it in her mouth in a horse-reign like fashion and pulling on it to control her movements and quiet her loud moans and breathing. With her head being pulled back, she dug her nails into the couch as she bit down tightly on her blouse to keep it from gagging her. I pushed as deep as I could and did not slow my pace as I approached cumming for the second time. In her body's confusion, i could feel her getting hotter and wetter as I could feel her ass tightening around me. I gave the blouse a final pull as I emptied myself into her feeling the hole getting more and more slippery, she loosened as she finally relaxed.

After showering we laid in bed without saying a word. How could I explain to her what happened if I didn't know what happened? Could I blame it on being caught in the sudden rainstorm? Did I enjoy whatever it was that came over me? She probably thinks I'm a monster now. Would she ever forgive me? These questions circled my mind until I finally drifted off to sleep. The next morning I awoke to her mouth sliding up and down my already hard dick, after a few minutes of confused excitement I released and she swallowed what must've been every drop of it, after a licking a bit longer to clean me, she looked up at me smiling, kissed me, and in her soft spoken voice she said, "Now, get up, breakfast is ready." Journal it seems I'm the one that's confused now.