Kay wanted to go Italian. She knew of a restaurant, and she knew the number for a cab. I'd missed the last train home though that didn't matter a jot. Kay had already decided I was staying the night.
The restaurant was bad, no actually, it was awful. We waited for ages for a table. It got worse I'd eaten one mini Italian Dumpling. It was so foul I had to spit it out. Kay's starter was cold and oily so that was that.
I called the waiter over. This is beyond bloody awful. I'm not paying a penny. They refused to call us a cab so we just walked out laughing. Over the road was a pub, I could murder a pint I said.
Kay surprised me. It's a Brain's house. Perhaps they sell Reverend James she said. The outside of the pub didn't look special but Kay was right. The beer was outstanding. Never judge a book by its cover, as they say.
Brains brew a beer called Reverend James in honour of Reverend James Buckley, saver of souls and satisfier of thirsts. A man of God and one I'm sure would have approved of this landlord's skill in the keeping of good beers.
As the barmaid drew my pint, the first had gone to Kay. Another woman came through the bar with two plates full of stake pie, chips and peas. Are you still serving food Kay said to the woman serving our beer?
"Yes, my love. If you hurry up. He's fussy about turning the ovens off so I'm not allowed to take orders after nine."
I was about to ask Kay what she wanted. "Some of that if there's any left," she preempted me. "Me too please love."
"I'd have thought so. It's our best seller. I make, and part cook the pies in the morning. They will be half an hour, is that OK"?
"Oh dear, I may have to drink another pint," said Kay laughing.
"Yeh, that will be a hardship", I said.
We sat in the pub waiting for our food and chatting. Kay apologised for taking me to a place she had no idea about. I normally eat out at the Indian or Thai.
When I asked, "why we didn't do either of them as I prefer that kind of food as well?"
"She laughed at me. "Chilli-heavy food is just the best way to ruin oral sex and I had planned on lots of oral sex later.
"Planned?" I asked
"Beer is the second best way to bugger up! Don't worry." She went on! "I plan on making this a rain check. I'm not planning on letting you escape my evil clutches for a while yet."
When the food was eaten and the plates cleared away I order two pints more. We sat and chatted until closing time. After the tables were cleared and the food was finished the landlady put some music on. One or two locals got up and started to dance. Kay was looking a bit sad. What's up, love? "I love rock and roll. I'd love to dance but I've never had the chance to learn."
"Why ever not?" I was always the fat girl left on her own."
"Honestly I would have had you up." Anyway, your not fat, your big but you're not fat.
"You sound like my mum", said Kay.
"I'd have given my left testicle to play with your jubblies when I was 16."
That got a proper smile out of her.
The compilation tape switched to a little-known Roling Stones cover of Chuck Berry's "Down The Road Apice". It's a nice slowish Jiver. "Come on, it's never too late. I wasn't taking no for an answer. Come on!" I dragged her up and started to show her basic step.
Then the landlady joined us. "It's easy darling," she said. "He knows what he's up to. Just follow him."
I grabbed Key in a "close hold" and the landlady grabbed her bum and pushed her into the basic step. A dozen beats later she was doing it herself.
The landlady grabbed Kay by the arse again she shouted "superwoman" at me. I lifted Kay's arm and she pushed Kay under the arch, squeezed through herself and yelled "basic again," which settled Kay down.
She then shouted "repeat." She was a brilliant teacher. She shouted over to her old man" Bob, change the tape. He put on an RnR compilation, one that starts with "Aint Got No Home" by Clarance Frogman Henry.
We taught Kay left-hand turn, left-hand turn and right-hand catch and with interruptions. Kay had 4 jive moves now. In the words of the best jive teacher in the country, four moves and you're fit to jive at family weddings.
She was making the mistake all new jivers make. Taking huge exhausting steps. I was doing my best to control things and contain her movement but after three consecutive dances she was knackered and my belt was killing me.
We sat down and my big tough Dominant Bitch started to cry. The landlady came and sat with us. Put her arms around her and hugged her. She looked knowingly at Kay, "first time my lovely?" Kay just nodded.
"Easy isn't it, first four moves are the hardest. I just don't know why more people don't do it. "I've never danced before at all," said Kay.
"Well, you have now my lovely. What's more, you can do it again tomorrow. I run lesions here every Sunday evening. We have a little hop after. Please come, you will love it."
"I don't think we can, I'm sorry don't know your name love," said Kay. I'm Angie. It's our Boozer now. We just bought it. I wanted somewhere we could have proper knees up but the surveyor says the upstairs floor is rotten and we ain't got money left to replace it.
We don't do food on Sunday though so I can have a dance in here. Not big enough for a band though. More's the shame.
