Applying for jobs was getting boring. There were only so many ways you could feign enthusiasm for a job titled 'Office Administration Assistant - Part Time' and only so many times you could tweak the wording in your cover letter before you started to feel your mind slipping away.
Jade had just finished adjusting her cover letter to fit her 7th application of the day. At this point, she wasn't even checking to see if she was qualified for the job - 3 years experience minimum? Bachelor degree or higher in relevant field preferred? Super keen and bubbly personality to join our team? Sure.
Please upload your Resume and Cover Letter here.
This job was one she knew she wasn't qualified for, but she needed a job and this is what was being advertised; what's the worst that can happen? She doesn't get accepted into a job she never really cared about in the first place? Bummer.
- Browse
- Documents
- JadeTurnerResume.pdf
- Open
- Browse
- Documents
- jadetittieslol.png
- Open
- Submit
She took a deep sigh and leant back in her desk chair, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment. Time for a break.
In the middle of pouring a delicious smoothie into her glass, Jade heard a buzz coming from her phone across the kitchen. Craning her neck to look, she saw the screen lit up with a Gmail notification.
RE: Office Administration Role
Assuming it was just an automatic "Thank you for your application!" email, she went back to her smoothie for a moment, popping in a metal straw and taking it, and her phone, to the couch.
RE: Office Administration Role
2 Attachments
Dear Jade,
Thank you for your application, we appreciate you taking the time to express your interest in joining our team. Unfortunately, we feel you do not meet our required qualifications, and have decided not to move forward with your application.
However, we have another vacancy that we feel you may be better suited for, and would love for you to join our team. The file you submitted in the 'Cover Letter' section fills us with confidence that you would be the perfect fit for our Full Time Office Edgeslut role. This would be a fantastic opportunity to use the skills you so expertly demonstrated in your cover letter! As stated, this is a full-time role, 40 hours per week, with a yearly salary of $85,000. You will also be granted 2 weeks paid sick leave per year, amongst other benefits.
We would love to meet with you in person to discuss this position.
Kind regards,
Victor McCarthy
Head of Office Admin Division
Jade was immediately incredibly confused. Office Edgeslut? What was that supposed to be, Edges Lut? What the fuck does Lut mean? And what was it about her cover letter that made them think she was a 'perfect fit' for a full time role with a thoroughly decent salary? At the bottom of the email appeared to be the files she'd sent with her application; her resume and her cover letter.
Except that wasn't her cover letter.
"Fuck," Jade couldn't help but say out loud. In place of a cover letter, she had submitted an image of herself laying on her bed, smiling widely, shirt lifted up to her collarbones, with her breasts on full display. "Fuck!"
It began to dawn on her what was happening. Whoever had processed her application - seemingly this Victor McCarthy - had seen her nude and decided to offer her a role as the office slut... Presumably her photo had turned him on, he must have thought she was hot enough, or else he wouldn't have offered her the position. She felt a warmth in her stomach and a dampness in her underwear.
"No, no," she thought to herself. "This is so wrong - this is fucked up! I'm not gonna go and be some office whore and get paid for it, how degrading! That's disgusting!"
She paused for a moment, glancing back over the job description.
"But I do need the money..."
The next thing she knew, she had set up a meeting for the following day at 10 o'clock sharp.