Mistress was angry at me. She didn't need to say a word, she never did. With her indifference and disappointment showing clearly, it was awful to think that I was failing her.
"Mistress," I said from my knees. "Please. I am doing my best."
She didn't look up. For a moment I wasn't sure she had heard me. "Maybe you are, maybe you aren't," she said finally. She went back to reading her book in bed.
Mistress' long red hair was flowing down, just covering her full breasts. Her body was curvy, pale white and delicious. I felt a stirring in my cock but quickly remembered her displeasure and I lost all feelings of lust. Still, Mistress' beauty was a sight to behold.
I remained on my knees and turned around to present my naked ass to my Mistress.
"I know I deserve to be punished, Mistress," I said quietly.
Silence. Then a cold laugh. "I'm not stupid, dear. I know what kind of punishment you like and what kind you don't." I could hear a page being turned in her book. "Don't bother me again, I'm reading."
Crestfallen, I went upstairs to find my computer. I knew why Mistress was angry, and I knew I must do something about it.
In my file cabinet there is a large, old and battered file full of papers. It is labeled "Divorce."
I left my wife over three years ago and met my Mistress about a year later. In that time, my ex has dragged her feet about the formal divorce. Some of her reasons made sense for a time, like health insurance issues and some tax issues, but now I think she's just going slowly because she knows I want it and she doesn't feel like doing me any favors. I prefer to do our divorce as a no fault one because that's a lot cheaper and, well, it was neither of our faults and both of our faults anyway. Does that make sense?
For those reasons, I've tried to be gentle about it with my ex, but Mistress is angry because I haven't gotten it officially finalized.
So, I'm reading the file again, trying to think of a delicate way to prod my ex when Mistress calls from downstairs.
"Get your ass down here now, I don't care about the rest of you," she is laughing angrily again. Despite my fear, my cock gets hard again hearing her voice. Her power over me is nearly complete. If she ordered me to do the divorce tomorrow and lose a lot of money, I'd do it, but that kind of direct order about something "outside" the bdsm world isn't her style. She is waiting for me to do it only because I want and need to please her.
As I approached her I allowed myself a quick glance up at her stern, beautiful face. I noticed she had changed into more of a preppy outfit with a nice jacket that was open to reveal her large breasts hanging down like delectable fruit. I would suck on them in bliss for hours when she was in the mood.
"I have something for you," she said with mock sweetness. When she was like this, anything could happen. My cock twitched again but I also felt a sense of foreboding.
"Thank You Mistress," I said quietly. I turned around again to present my ass to her.
"No sub, that's what you want," she laughed. "It isn't what I want. Stand up and face me." I turned and stood up.
"You know you've been a bad boy, don't you?"
I nodded, "Yes Mistress." My hopes began to rise. This was often how she would start a spanking session with me that usually ended with her fucking my ass and my eating her until she came.
"Bad boys get punished," she said. "Really punished."
I tensed up, waiting for the spank or the sudden thrust of a dildo in my ass. I craved this. This is what I waited for.
"I found this in your sock drawer," she held out my old wedding ring. I'd misplaced it and had now and then thought about where it was so I could throw it away.
"Mistress, I am sorry, I..."
"Did I ask you to speak?" She raised her hand and I tightened my ass to feel her sting. "Put this on," she said, holding out the wedding ring.
"But Mistress..."
"If you speak again without permission I won't be your Mistress anymore," she said coldly.
The ring remained in front of my face. Without a word, I took it and placed it on the finger it had been on years ago. It felt odd and made me feel sad and defeated.
"That's the beginning of your punishment," Mistress laughed. "Not what you had in mind, is it?" She held up her hand, indicating I did not have permission yet to speak. "You will wear this until you get your divorce." From behind her back she produced her tiniest whip.
"Signed," a quick thwack across my face, "Sealed," another stinging slap on the other cheek, "and Delivered," two hard slaps on each ass cheek that brought tears to my eyes. I felt pain but wanted more. I needed her punishment.
"Now leave me alone, I've got real work to do," and she turned to go into her own office. She's a professional photographer and she was editing images she'd just done for some fancy food magazine.
Still feeling the pain of the slaps, but feeling a stronger ache at the absence of new punishment from My Mistress, I slowly trudged back upstairs.
"Oh, another thing," she called out to me. "Don't cum until I tell you too, and I won't be touching you or allowing you to touch Me until your divorce is final."
----
The next several weeks were agony on many different levels. I had to battle it out with my ex on stupid details (a tiny monthly allowance for my kids that my ex was against because she wanted to control them, how to split the 401K, crap like that) and all the time she was dragging her feet as if she knew how much I wanted this divorce after years of letting it slide. But I was making progress. It was getting closer to resolution.
For weeks My Mistress ignored me physically. She made me sleep on the floor at the foot of our large bed. Each night, I heard her pleasure herself, moaning and sighing, while I was forced to remain on the floor curled up like a dog.
Maybe that's what gave her her next idea.
One night I got up in the middle of the night to take a piss.
"You woke me," she said as I tiptoed to the bathroom. "Apologize."
"I'm so sorry Mistress, please let me..."
"You've already woken me, I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses," she said, still a little groggy but waking up. She sat up in bed. Naked and inviting but completely off-limits to me. Her creamy white skin, her flowing red hair, it took all of my control not to crawl over and begin sucking and touching her. I closed my eyes and imagined her taking me with the dildo until I was about to explode, then allowing me to turn around so she could fuck my sub cock. She sometimes liked me to come inside of her if I was being very good.
"Can't hold it in, huh?" she laughed again. "Go get the cat's collar and leash."
Confused, I did as she said even though my bladder felt like it would burst. In an odd way, though, even this pain felt good because she was inflicting it.
I returned with the cat collar and leash.
"Put it on," she said. "And you'll pee in this during the night because I don't want to be woken up," she pointed to the fresh kitty litter tray on the nearby wall. "Wear the collar and leash all night, pee in there, and I may take you out in the morning."
She turned and went back to sleep.
Humiliated, I put the cat leash on. Even at the largest setting it was still a little tight. The leash dragged behind me as I went to the kitty litter box. I pissed into it, hearing the litter spray around the metal tray. I tried to be quiet about it so as not to wake my Mistress again.
I was ashamed as I crawled back to my spot on the floor. I was ashamed because I'd just been degraded to piss in a kitty litter container. Ashamed because I had on a leash and collar that mocked the collar I truly wanted to earn. And ashamed because, despite myself, my cock was hard again.
--------------
The next morning Mistress was up early. Her sense of elation was in stark contrast to the weakness and shame I felt.
"Stiff neck?" she laughed as she got dressed in the bathroom. I knew this was another punishment; usually she would dress in front of me. Sometimes letting me touch her and help. I would be mesmerized watching her pendulous breasts gently rise and fall as she applied makeup. She sometimes let me suckle them while she masturbated me. But that was when she was pleased with me. It seemed like a very long time ago now.
She tossed me a t-shirt and some skimpy shorts she liked me to sometimes wear around the house.
"Put those on. Come on, let's take you outside," she grabbed the leash and pulled hard when I didn't immediately respond. I stumbled putting on the shorts but finally got them on. I was beginning to sweat.
Christ, was she going to take me outside with this cat leash on? I knew I couldn't say no, but
I was dreading it as she "walked" me up the stairs.
"You're getting the hang of it. Maybe this is the only leash and collar you'll ever deserve," with that, she opened the front door. "You can stand when we are outside, follow me at a distance and don't make me yank this thing."
I kept my head down and followed Mistress. She was wearing tight jeans and a loose fitting sweatshirt. She had put on her glasses, which made me crazy again with desire. She looked so powerful and intelligent when she wore them. As if she could see straight through me and read my thoughts as she passed.
"It's your lucky day," she laughed. "There's no one out here." Then she yanked the leash hard and I stopped. "But you'd like to be seen like this, wouldn't you?"
I kept my head down. My eyes were welling up with tears.
"Wouldn't you?"
"Yes Mistress," I said, a tear running down my cheek. Why did I allow Mistress to do this to me? Why did I let her humiliate me like this? I was a successful handsome man who had always been popular with women. But the women who were attracted to me were usually cheerleader types with (to me) conventional prettiness and no spice. Until I met Her. I was Hers to do with was She wanted. I knew it. I fought it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
She continued to stare at me through her dark black, haunting glasses. "I didn't quite hear you."
I took in a deep breath and prayed no one would come around the corner. "I would like to be seen in public, Mistress, humiliated and subservient to You for everyone to see."
"You know," she said, with a softer edge in her voice, "If you get this divorce thing settled, you may be in for a nice reward."
