"Forehead on the ground, Cerdito."
She'd barely cracked the door, and She waited for the sound of my forehead tapping the hardwood floor before She opened it any further.
Even with my head down, I could see light pouring out from what had been my bedroom, until she walked in. Now it was Hers. As the door opened, it spilled out and over me. All I could see were the knots and lines in the wood under me, but it glowed.
I heard Her walking away, but just barely; each step was a soft puff of air. Her feet were bare. She was here, in my apartment, in Her bedroom, and Her feet were bare. My breath snapped in, and I made an effort to let it out slowly.
"Crawl forward, right onto the mat."
I kept my head down, inching into the room on hands and knees. She hadn't told me to look up, so I didn't, but I didn't want to either. The light was everywhere, screaming at me from what seemed like every angle, and with my eyes still adjusting, I didn't want to look up.
After a few steps, my fingers found the mat She'd been talking about. She'd laid it out in the middle of the floor parallel to the wall. It had a bit of tack and cushion.
"You can kneel right in the middle there, Cerdito."
I felt for the edges, still not looking up. The mat was just about as long as I was, and just as wide. I found the middle, folded my legs and pointed my body at the voice behind the light. It was quiet a moment, but then She laughed.
"You can look up."
So I did. And it was blinding. She had three lights pointed right at me. It took a moment, blinking into the onslaught, to realize one of the lights was actually mine. My desk lamp was turned and pointed right at the middle of the mat, and the others were beaming circles that glared on either side of it. My eyes adjusted a little, and I could make out a tripod behind the lights. A webcam.
"Say hello, Cerdito," She laughed.
I said hello. Behind the lights, and the tripod, and the camera that was pointing down on me, I saw Her finally, sitting behind the gear on my bed. With all the light in the room pressed on me, She was made of silhouette and subtle motion. I could make out bits of Her hair curling off to the sides, the lines of Her crossed legs, and an arm, bare to the lip of Her shoulder, illuminated by a laptop screen. My eyes were fixed there, on every muscle, as She lowered Herself down a few inches to see the screen.
"They said hi back." I could hear the grin in Her voice. "They like the outfit." This did explain the mask. We'd negotiated over that. I'd been on video before, but I always kept my face out of frame.
"The outfit was all you."
"I like what you did with the body paint."
"Thank you," I said it too quickly.
My bed creaked a little. She was leaning forward over Her knees.
"A little louder when you say that."
I said 'Thank you' again, with a full voice.
"Never say that unless you mean it."
I nodded.
"And never say that in a way that makes me doubt you."
I nodded.
The bed creaked again. She leaned back and typed something into the computer.
"Thank you," I said.
The typing stopped. I took a breath, and straightened my back. My hands came behind me, and I parted my knees a little. When my lips parted, and I breathed out, I sunk deeper into position. Then, I lifted my chin to the camera.
I swear I heard Her smile. A happy little hum floated down as I braced myself.
She typed a little more. Then the enter key. She watched the screen a moment.
"They say you look too comfortable," She said.
"Can I ask who they are?"
"No," She said lightly. A point of fact. "All you need to know is they're watching. And I think they would like to see this."
She grabbed something from off the bed, and Her hand flicked in my direction. A moment later, I felt a chill smack into my chest, and metal falling into my hands below. I looked down and saw two black clover clamps in my hands, laced together with a black metal chain. I turned them both over in my hands, looking over the grips. There, just below the catch, was a silver line scratched into the black surface: the scar from the night I tripped wearing them, tangled in a ladder tie. The clamps were mine.