I had been trying to pay attention to something on Netflix that night when She texted me.
Her: I'm nervous. I hope that doesn't...break the mood.
me: No. No. Not at all. I'm nervous too.
Her: Good.
me: I mean. I'm excited. But, I'm nervous.
Her: Good. I'm excited too. God, I sound like an idiot.
me: No you don't. We've been planning this for a while.
Her: Don't put more pressure on!
me: Sorry!!
Her: I'm kidding. But, really...I can't wait. I'll see you in an hour.
me: I can't wait either. I hope it's sooner.
Her: You be patient!
me: Of course.
Her: You know, I'm only a couple blocks away.
me: You're teasing me.
Her: I can see your apartment building.
me: You're really teasing me...
Her: I'll see you soon.
me: See you soon.
That's how the night started. We'd emailed out the negotiation, and we talked everything over earlier in the week, but the day of, She went quiet. I knew she was coming over at eight, but I didn't hear from her until those texts. It felt a little weird.
Friday is our day.
She hates how crowded everything is on Friday. I do too. We started staying home Fridays and texting each other. Sometimes we put on the same movie. Sometimes we video Skype, and She watches me make dinner. Sometimes we do other things over the phone, but whatever it is, Friday is our day. And that makes me love Friday.
We met almost exactly ten months ago. It was my third kink event ever. Later, when I asked how many events she'd been to, she just said,
"You see this gray hair? This one specifically is from every time someone has tied an awkward main line."
I couldn't see any gray hairs. Not one. And they would stand out against the dark brown plume that haloed her face.
The first time I saw her she was running a scene in the middle of a party. She'd suspended a blond woman upside down. Part way through the scene She swung back to another hard point and laced a line to Her sub's shoulders. Whenever She wanted to, She could lean Her weight down on the second line, and bring her sub up horizontal, then step aside and let her fall straight back down again. Her sub went pale, then flushed, then went pale, then flushed. I watched Her sub teeter on passing out. I watched Her keep her sub riding along that edge. When the blond was near delirious, She pulled her up, undid a tie or two, and lowered the blonde's feet to the ground.
The sub's toes gripped the mat underneath her, and She just grabbed her. You could see the blood moving through the sub's face, recalibrating to being on the ground again. She just gripped the blond's blonde's hair, and pulled her face into Her shoulder.
She whispered something.
Then She lowered her sub to her knees.
I watched the blond smile, and whisper back:
"Thank you."
She lowered Her sub down onto her side. She covered the blond in a blanket from Her bag and pulled her head into Her lap. She stroked Her sub's hair. She looked her in the eyes with the kind of warmth you save for a puppy, or a child making a daisy chain.
For the first time that night, the moment seemed too intimate for me to be watching. They were in the middle of the dungeon floor, with two dozen people surrounding them, but that moment seemed private. I looked down at my feet and walked into the next room.
The event was in a converted warehouse. When you walked in there was a little sitting room, where you could drop your stuff, and a dressing area where you could change from work attire to play attire. Just beyond that was the main room: a dungeon, all hard points, mats, and smattering of chairs around the edges. There were two other rooms off the dungeon. One was filled with curtained booths for more private play, and the other was where you could always find me at these events.
I always thought of it as the Idiot's room.
There were a couple guys and girls who were always there. I never saw them play, or do anything at all except hang out, chat, and drink water. A lot of the time, those people were the best dressed people at the event. I figured their kink was getting an excuse to parade about in that outfit. But for all I knew, they took that outfit to one of the crazy after parties I always heard about, but never got invited to. This was always the main event for me, but for them, it could have just been the pre-show.
There were usually a couple of second string subs there too. They'd been directed to sit and wait, they weren't allowed the pleasure of watching the fun their dom got up to. They were always smiling, but they were terrible company; so full of anticipation, there wasn't room for any kind of conversation.
Sometimes people who weren't really kinky still wanted to feel what it would be like to go to a kink party. This was the room that allowed them to say they were there, without having to watch. Without having to know what it felt like to watch.
Then, along with all of that, there was us. The real idiots. Those of us that were kinky, but still trying to learn how to be. Just because you know what you like doesn't mean you feel confident when you pick up a bit of rope or fit on a collar.
And without confidence, you tend to end up leaning on the wall in the Idiot's room.
