His stomach lurched when his father made an unsettling declaration. Stunned, Josh glared at his father's back as he left the store for his lunch break. He stared at the shutting front door, scowling, arms crossed. Josh wasn't sure how to break the news to his friends, his coworkers. Their tight trio was about to be interrupted if his dad went through with his plan. Even as store manager and the owner's son, he had no say in his father's decision.
With no customers in the store, Josh forwent the fake, warm smile he had to force on his face. He gave the door his father left through the finger and went to the back of the store. He passed through the huge shelves full of used books crowding the small space and threw open the back office's door. His two colleagues had already decided to take a lunch break since business was slow that day. Josh felt too sick to eat and plopped down on the ragged couch.
He rubbed his forehead and moaned. "This fucking sucks," he said with a drawn out whine.
"What, Chief?" one of them asked as he tipped a near empty bag of chips to his mouth. Josh moaned in response.
"Just fuckin say it," the other man said as he lit up his second cigarette, the only thing he ever had for lunch. "I'm fired, right?"
"My dad isn't going to fire you 'cause you missed a few days." He sighed and smiled bitterly. "We're getting a new employee."
The two of them stared at their manager. Both of them felt just as ill. "Well," Freak shrugged and tossed the empty, crumpled bag, "maybe he would make us a quartet. Gotta look at the bright side of things. But if it doesn't work out, we'll just get him fired."
Josh's hands curled into fists. "My dad's hiring a woman."
"Fuck me," Badass said and looked at the clock, hoping to get another cigarette in before his lunch break was up.
"Can't you fight him on this?" Freak asked.
"I'll try." He got up and went to his small locker. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. "She's gonna ruin everything we have here." He shook his head. "I guess it's to make him look better. Make him not look like a sexist for only hiring men or some shit like that."
The three of them grieved in silence. The store was their domain. They had a system, they had secrets, they had parties after hours – parties that would get all, including Josh, fired if his father found out. They bent the rules, but Josh, the ringleader, kept the other two in line if they went too far. With a woman working there they would have to be well-mannered at all times. Josh cringed at the thought of smiling and being charming all day long. It was difficult enough putting on a show for his father when he visited the store two days a week. His visits decreased as his trust in his son's management skills grew. Josh laughed at his dad's ignorance. If only he knew what went on while he was gone.
"Fuck it," Josh said and tapped the cigarette into the ash tray. "I'll figure something out."
The bells on the front door jingled, signaling a customer. Josh groaned and flicked the smoldering stick away. "Freak, finish dusting the back row," he said and stood.
"When this woman comes along, can we make her do the tedious work?" Freak asked. His leader said nothing and closed the door behind him.
Josh approached the front counter and put a reluctant smile on his face. The young woman was already browsing the first shelf.
"Hello, Miss. Can I be of any assistance?"
The brunette turned to him. Her heart fluttered at the sight of the handsome man in front of her. His smile was sweet. His eyes were dark yet sparkling. There was a welcoming warmth about him. She adjusted her thick-framed glasses and ducked her head when she felt herself blushing.
"I was just checking this place out. What do you have here?" Her timid speech and slumped shoulders annoyed him. Her attire was pitiful and screamed geek. Her blunt hair was half pulled back – a sweet and dull style. Her makeup was as simple as mascara and blush. She was barely beautiful.
"We have anything and everything," he said with his arms spread. He dropped them to his sides. "Let me know if you need anything." He did an about face then took a step back when she called out to him. He quickly smiled and turned back to her.
"Actually...I was wondering..." She cleared her throat and stood straight. "I am passionate about books." The corners of his lips dropped a little. He knew what was coming next. "And I'm looking for a job." His annoyance turned to unreasonable hatred. "So, I was curious. Are you guys hiring?"
His head started to shake but stopped when his dad came into the shop. Startled by the bells, she turned to the older man carrying a paper bag with his to-go lunch inside. "Hello, welcome," he greeted her. "Can I help you?" Josh's smile dropped entirely.
"Yes, I was wondering if you were hiring?" she asked. Josh gritted his teeth from her high pitched voice.
The relieved smile of his father's face made his son even more nauseated. "Talk about being at the right place at the right time! As a matter of fact, we are hiring." His father ducked behind the front counter and took an application from a dusty stack of papers. Josh studied her smile and felt more irritable than ever. She turned to him with a smile; he reciprocated with one although he was far from amused. "Here you go," he handed her the paper. She examined it briefly. "And your name is..."
"Charlotte." They shook hands, then she nodded to Josh who was backing away slowly. "I will fill this out ASAP." She turned to the door. "Thanks!" she squeaked and left.
Josh turned to his father. "If you hire her, I'm quitting."
"And where will you go?" His question silenced his son. When Josh had no answer, his father walked away, shaking his head. "Spoiled rotten..." he mumbled. His son resented his father holding his job over his head. He failed at every job he tried for because of his passive aggressive attitude and problems with authority. Pissed at his father's threat, he sulked throughout the day and avoided him. The woman had returned with the application. Josh hid as his father took care of it.
Just after seven when the store closed, his father gathered the three of them for a meeting to announce that the sweet, young lady that stopped by that day was hired. He went on about how her charm would help the store's image, that it also needed a feminine touch. Looking directly at his son, he said that her cheery attitude would make the customers feel more welcome and willing to come back. Josh comprehended the silent message. He was a light switch. He was seemingly charming until a customer gave him problems. His dark nature was powerful and impulsive. As his father continued, Josh looked to the side and said nothing.
"She starts tomorrow. I expect that she'll be treated with respect. Watch your language and abide by the rules." He narrowed his eyes on his son. "I'm expecting you to be on your best behavior around this young lady."
He shot a glare at his father. "I'm twenty-five. You don't need to speak to me like I'm a child."
"Then stop acting like one." Josh rolled his eyes like he did at thirteen. "You're a manager, dammit. You won't be for very long if you keep this up."
"Then where will I go?" he asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm.
"Honestly, I don't care anymore. I'm done helping you." The two others heard the father-son argument many times before, but they never heard the owner give up on his son. "I expect all of you to be on time," he said and tossed a "goodnight" over his shoulder as he left. Freak and Badass responded with a "goodnight" back. Neither hated their boss. He was fair and lenient with them.
A moment of quiet passed before Josh stood. "Lock up," he told the others. "I have to go." On the way back to his apartment, he fought temptation to call his therapist and rant. He didn't care if he was intruding on her personal time again. The last session made him leave early in rage. He couldn't bear to hear the revelations about his apathetic and dark feelings that they spent months deciphering. He hated having to go. It was a condition by his father for him to keep working at the shop.
The last session from two days ago played in his head.
For once during an appointment, he kept his eyes off of her legs and paid attention. He mostly looked at the floor then raised his eyes when she said she reached a conclusion about his problems.
"The repressed sadomasochistic feelings are going to make you last out," she said, hands folded on her crossed legs.
"But I get plenty of it at the parties. And prostitutes help."
"But that's just sex. You have no emotional connections to your playmates." Her eyes squinted, thinking of how to get him to understand. "You have no romantic partner in your life to do these sessions with. You're alone even though you're surrounded by sex." Her smile was grim yet sympathetic. "You need a woman, a woman you can love, a woman who can love you and fulfill the emotional hole you've created by making SM solely physical." She looked him straight in the eye. "With her, sex will have meaning."
The last sentences felt like an attack. He reacted inappropriately by storming out and slamming her door shut. It was normal for him to act like a child when listening to truths about him, truths that he refused to face. He ignored it all by delving into BDSM to cure his sexual needs, but sessions with strangers didn't take all of the hurt away. He acknowledged he was headed down a destructive path. He felt the damage he had done would never attract a woman, especially one willing to be a submissive. He needed a woman to save him, one that would love him back and serve his needs.
~