Kourtney, Mary Grace and Caprice crossed Buttermilk Boulevard over to Scarne Avenue, continuing their months long argument about which store is better-Betsy Johnson's or Ann Taylor?
"My mom fucking goes to Ann Taylor." Mary Grace said heatedly. "Why would"
"Who's that guy, that's Birdie, right?" Kourtney said, staring.
"He's kind of cute, BIG." Kourtney smiled appreciatively. Most of the guys at BSU were doormats or dicks, but she'd talked to Birdie a couple times.
"You know, he looks a LOT like a fat girl, just as big, like a lesbian in miniskirts she shouldn't be wearing?" Caprice said. "In my Trig class last semester."
And Caprice, who was a sales associate at the Furnam Beauty Company, had the strangest feelingbut Kourtney was walking across the street. Caprice and Mary Grace exchanged rolled eyesRebound time! Kourt couldn't deal with Seth leaving her, not for a second. Mary Grace followed, annoyed, and Caprice, after a look at her Facebook on the Iphone, wandered after.
"I never see you at any of the parties" Kourtney was saying animatedly to Birdie. "Or even after school for more than like, a second. Do you have a job or something?"
"Um, I have an early bedtime I mean, I have to be home a lot" Birdie was saying, with a friendly wave at the other two girls.
"Dude, that's so bogus." Kourtney said reasonably, stroking Birdie's arm. "You should come over to my house, see my little brother's Xbox, get to know me--I could be good for your career!" She smiled flirtatiously and Caprice and Mary Grace exchanged another eye-roll.
Suddenly they heard clicking high heels, and looked up. Caprice's eyebrow raised it was a dark haired older woman, not quite Mom's age, Jesus, wearing a fur stole politically incorrect but it did look good. Fox. Damn.
The old chick came up to Birdie and put a little white hand with long red nails on his arm. "Birdie, darling, you're late coming home I think" She pulled out a REALLY old watch on a chain, and looked at it. "Three forty-five. I believe we've agreed that you be home by three-thirty, haven't we?" The woman laughed briefly. "You know the last time you signed in late, I tied you naked to the bed, and we had a session with Mister Tawse"
Birdie blushed, Kourtney laughed nervously, and Caprice, a nursing student, wondered if this was some early Alzheimer's deal.
"Auntie Marigold, I'm just talking to some friends from school" Birdie said. "I'll be home. We're"
Kourtney interrupted him shrilly. "Yes, we just you know couldn't we um, borrow Birdie to go to Mickey Dees, for a while. I've always been impressed" Then she paused and looked at Birdie curiously. "This lady is your aunt?"
The lady looked up the street at McDonald's and shuddered. "To think that used to be the Wolstenholme Arms, and it's torn down to provide a den of iniquity for pimple-faced junk-food worshippers."
Caprice took a call from her mother, who couldn't be bothered to learn texting and by the time she hung up, things appeared to have gotten weird between Birdie and his aunt.
Dude was arguing with the little dark haired woman, and he was like a foot taller than she was you'd think it would be a brief argument.
"C'mon Auntie M" the callow youth was protesting heatedly. "You never want me to go out at night, why can't I just have um, coffee with the girls for an hour."
Birdie pointed to a Starbucks. "We wont' even walk over to the Golden Arches, just"
"Alas, Birdie, I knew your rebellious attitude would reassert itself and you were doing so well" Auntie M finished wistfully.
"And now you want to show off for the young ladies, I imagine."
"Look Miss um, I'll drive Birdie back" Kourtney said, using the reasonable tone she used with her grandparents and small children. "But he's like twenty years old, and old enough"
