You did a full body stretch, snow-angeling your legs back and forth into your soft, fluffy duvet. Without opening your eyes, you could tell it had snowed overnight by how bright the room felt. White Christmas....check! You wait for it. This was usually the moment where sadness hit as the reality that you were alone for yet another Christmas settled over you.
"Wake up, sleepyhead!" A sing-song, female voice rang out.
You bolt upright in bed, eyes shooting open to find a woman kneeling at the bottom of your bed...but not just ANY woman...this was the women of your dreams! Brunette, feminine curves and a strap-on pointed right the fuck at you!
You slap yourself in the face, certain you are dreaming.
She cocks her head, looking at you like you've lost your marbles. "If you like it like that...all you had to do was ask," she replies, eying your bare chest with interest.
Trying a different approach, you rub your eyes vigorously before sneaking another peak. Still there. "Who the fuck are you? Did Sarah put you up to this?"
Crossing her arms over her ample tits, she arches an eyebrow at you. "I highly doubt any of your ex-girlfriends care enough about to you arrange this," she motions to her body incredulously.
"Hold up...how did you know she was an Ex??"
She shrugs her shoulders as she casts a bored look at you. "Best guess."
Ouch. She had you there. "Lemme circle back to my original question...who are you?"
"Duh...I'm an angel."
Dumfounded you wait for her to explain her crazy self.
"There's a reason you're alone every Christmas, dumbass. You've got 24 hours to figure it out...with my help obviously."
Right. Duh. "Prove you're an angel," You mimic her pose, suddenly feeling very naked.
Blowing out an exasperated breath she says, "You have a drawer full of woman's underwear. You wear them under your clothes...in fact you have some on right now. Red lacy ones. Every single one of your girlfriends has broken up with you because and I quote, 'something was missing in your relationship'. You watch Love Actually every year because you relate to Mark being the only one without love at Christmas. And you have an unnatural addiction to spray cheese." She says the last part with a super judgey look on her face and right away you dislike her. Mostly.
The logical part of your mind knew that kind of information was easily obtained by talking to any of your exes but literally NOONE knew you were mildly obsessed with pegging. The fact that she was wearing a strapon had you suspending reality and actually considering going along for the ride. "So how does this work exactly? If you help me figure my shit out and not be alone every Christmas do you like get your wings or something?"
She wrinkles up her nose at you. "Big fan of the movies, are you? Think less Hollywood, darling. Basically, I spend 24 hours with you...in that time, you'll have three tests to pass. When they are complete, poof...you'll have your answer."
This was some trippy shit. You shrug your shoulders because, hey, what else did you have to do for Christmas. "I'm going to need coffee to be able to deal with...this," you say, motioning to her baffling appearance, and climbing out from the warmth of your duvet.
You walk bare-footed across the floor, throwing on a cardigan over your red lace undies, thankful for the in-floor heating you had installed. Tossing a look over your shoulder, you see her trailing behind you, eyes locked on your ass peaking out under your sweater. Pervy angel.
At the counter, you set about getting the coffee brewing as she hops up on the counter unceremoniously beside you.
"I can tell already you're too uptight."
"I can already tell you're bossy AF."
She snort-laughs and it's pretty damn cute. You try and be annoyed but truth be told, you are pretty stoked to not be alone on Christmas. Leaning your arm on the counter and eying the strapon that seems to be pointed in your direction, you clear your throat and finally ask, "What's with the strapon?"
"Oh, this little thing?" she grasps it in her French-manicured grip and gives it a long stroke up and down.
"Is that like your magic wand or something?"
"Dude, I said angel, not fairy...and no, this is one of your tests."
Your mouth drops open. "As in...you think you're going to fuck me with THAT?"
She has the audacity to wink at you. Her eyes are stupidly big.
"How does me taking a toy dick in the ass help me in the girlfriend department exactly? Most women I meet are boring old vanilla." You take two mugs from the cupboard and set them on the counter. "Seems like a useless test to pass in the scheme of things."
Jumping down, she waltzes over to the fridge and grabs the cream from the top shelf. You can't help but noticed how good her ass looks in those tight, red leather pants. Turning back to you, she catches you staring. "I noticed you didn't say no there," she says smugly.
Rolling your eyes, you grab the cream from her and add it to the cups of steaming liquid, motioning to the packets of sweetener and stir sticks nearby. "I'm not opposed to the idea," you reply, trying to play it cool.
Taking a package of sweetener, she flicks it twice and rips it open before dumping it in her cup, reaching for a stir stick. "I take back the uptight comment then." She takes a sip, watching you over the rim of her mug.
Okay...she didn't completely suck. You sip your coffee returning her stare. Weird. You didn't feel the need to fill the silence like you normally did. You move from the kitchen into the living room and notice your Christmas tree is lit and there is a fire burning.
There's also a present under the tree.
She curls up on the couch, drawing a furry white blanket over her bare shoulders, looking far too comfortable, like she's done that very same thing hundreds of times before. You shake off that thought and bend down to reach for the present, flipping open the tag on the front.
Merry Christmas Ben.
You shake it and toss a smile at her. "Is this from God?"
You can tell it takes all her restraint not to eye roll you off the face of the planet. "Yes, Ben. God wants you to bend over for my lady dick."