I didn't want this anymore. I knew I had reached my limit. I loved them but I was tired of them all, my life was slowly passing me by. I was a spectator in this game of life. The constant drain on me was enormous. Being a wife and mother was hard, especially when combined with the duties of being a teacher. Everyone always wanted something. Taking five minutes for myself was seemingly impossible.
I missed the days of university, the freedom to be myself, time to embrace my passions and above all to feel the desire of a man. Back then my body was tight, shaved and bronzed. My classes were filled with fellow young and beautiful people all trying to bed one another, now they were filled with precocious ten year olds who were probably getting more hormonal action in the thrill of holding hands than I was even when having sex with my husband of twenty years.
Where had it gone? That rush, that longing for a swift hard fuck against the wall. That thrill of just knowing one look could cause such a great reaction. Now I had to preplan a night when the kids were out, bother to shave my legs and basically spell out what I wanted over the blur of the TV.
Back in uni I had an experience that coloured my view on sex. I was taken, literally kidnapped by a fellow student. He took me to a motel, had lingerie waiting for me, dressed me up and allowed me an explosive orgasm via his expert tongue. We hardly ever spoke after that, but his eyes told me every time I saw him, that I could be taken any time he wanted. God I longed for that feeling again.
I don't know I got separated from my work friends in a bar in the city. One minute we were all together having dinner and were supposed to be heading to a play based on Shakespeare's Macbeth, I had gone up to the bar to buy a drink for one of my associates and chatted freely to the bartender. When I looked across the room they had left. The bartender asked me what was wrong. I laughed as I told him they had ditched me. His reply left me speechless but for the first time in a long time I was wet.
Five minutes went past. I had done what I was told, I had not moved from my spot at the bar. He had not taken his eyes from mine. His break was about to start and I was about to be granted a wish. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me out the door of the bar. It was raining a fine mist in the laneway. It is funny what you remember about the moment that changes your life. He started at my neck, hungrily biting and sucking deeply. He held my hands above my head against the rough wall while he worked his way down. He was tugging at my shirt with his teeth. Somehow he got to the tops of my breasts, his tongue circling lower and lower until he tore the lace of my bra. My nipple sprung free, erect and longing for a deep suck. Where were my morals, why didn't I say no, why didn't I knee him in the balls and run for my virtue? Because I wanted it, I wanted it all. I wanted to pant "Fuck me hard" but all that came out was a groan.
"You are so fucking hot, I have been watching you since you walked in and I can't believe I have you out here already." I felt slutty at that comment and something clicked. My knee came up and then I was gone. I left him writhing in pain. As I ran around the corner with tears starting to flow I collided with a chest and arms so strong that I felt instantly safe.
"Whoa, there you are. I was looking for you everywhere in the bar. I went to the bathroom and I came out for my drink but you were gone. Hey, shit, you're crying, what happened?" One look at my torn bra and my face spoke volumes. Tony, my work mate gathered me in his arms until I stopped shaking. His jacket soon enclosed my shoulders and returned my dignity. We went to the play, but his presence was never more than two feet from my side. As I climbed into bed next to my husband later that night I thought of the kind, strong man who made me feel safe in such a dire situation.
Monday rolled around, meaning work and facing my savior. What did I say? "Hey thanks for saving me from being a slut" just didn't sound right. I needn't have worried Tony basically ignored me for most of the day. It was only at the end of the day that he came over to me and whispered in my ear, "Come into my office before you leave. I need to ask you about something" My feet dragged as I walked to his office in the gymnasium. I dodged kids running home as I climbed the few steps and opened the big doors. "Hey you, I hope you are ok. Sorry I didn't get to you this morning but I had a million things to do." "Oh, that's ok. I'm fine, I am the one who is sorry. I was really stupid, naive and plain dumb."
"Lou, you are not stupid or dumb. I don't know about naïve but there had to be a reason why you ended up where you did. Do you mind if I ask you, did you initiate it?"
"What, sex in a laneway?"
"Yes, did you ask him for it?"
"No! I just sort of flirted and did what he told me. I didn't think it would end up like that, he called me easy for god's sake. I have only ever slept with one man... I ...I I don't know!"
"So you did what you were told? Maybe he took that as a form of submission"
"What do you mean, submission?"
"You know, a Dominant and a Submissive in a relationship"
"Well I wasn't wearing leather and carrying a whip!"
"Ha ha well that would make you a Dom, not a sub Lou!"
Even my breathing stopped for what seemed like a few minutes. Tony looked me up and down and said,
"Would you like to be a Dom?"
"What, god, no don't be stupid, I sleep in pajamas and have sex lying down!"
"Vanilla hey?"
"What?"
"Missionary position Louise...."
My face was burning, but my nipples were hardening. As I was only wearing a T-shirt, it was noticed.
"Have you ever experimented in any sex games Louise?"
"I have been married for a long time Tony, so no, why are you calling me Louise?"
Tony stepped closer and looked closely at my eyes, he didn't blink. I felt so scrutinized I cast my eyes away. "Look at me Louise."
As my eyes went back to his face, he stepped behind me. My breathing rapidly increased.
His breath teased the back of my neck. I tilted my head back ever so slightly.
"What do you want Louise?"
I knew I wanted more of his teasing breath and for him to step closer but I couldn't find any words. I shuddered through primal lust.
"I asked you a question, what do you want?"
I mewed like a kitten, if the lust that was emulating from my every pore wasn't enough to distract me I would have been disgusted in myself.
Tony took that second to his advantage and bit my neck so very softly. I responded by a guttural moan.
He stepped back and whispered, "Be sure, little one"
I collapsed back into his body and he grabbed me with both hands.
His lips and teeth started an onslaught on my neck. I could feel my body tensing and relaxing like an ebbing tide. I wanted his hands all over me, I wanted to kiss him, no, I wanted him to fuck me right there on his desk.
He stopped and pushed me forward. I was so surprised and taken aback that I went to flee. His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. He spun me into his chest and said, "First rule, you never walk away from me without knowing what I am doing. Do you understand?"
I turned and looked at him, "I'm sorry, I don't understand this."
"It is simple Louise, if you want to find out what you have missed out on, I am the one to show you. I will teach you things and broaden your experiences if you wish. I would be honored in fact to be able to show you just how amazing you can be."
I started to laugh, whenever I am nervous or unsure of things it's my default. He silenced my laugh with a look.
"What are you asking me Tony, to risk everything for a quick bit of sex?"
