I wake early, stretching, I smile. It's just after 4:00 am. Will he arrive on time? I am sure he will be here. He can't stay away. I am anxious for him to be here, this is new. With Robb I am anticipatory, scared, and nervous; excited, angry and aggressive with the subs. But, this is different, I can't wait to see him, I moisten at the thought of him, not what I am going to do to him, simply him. For the first time I wonder if this is how Robb felt when he met me.
I know him, I know him well. I have lived in his skin. I know that dark place he is in. I hold it deep within, controlled, encased, chained by complete discipline and self control. Not fitting, not belonging, surrounded by beautiful perfect people, with beautiful perfect lives, scarred and ugly, carrying rage so close to the surface, it crawls just under your skin.
I pull on my sweats, sports bra and Nikes. I am waiting in the garden at exactly 5:00 am. Warren has not arrived. I am actually happy, I get to punish him. He is going to learn. He comes sauntering up the path, it is 5:07. "Warren,your late!" I sound angry, hell I am angry. Time is simple, your on time or your not. There is no grey area.
"Just a few minutes no biggie." His reply is snarky.
I slap him. "Late, is late. You will be punished after breakfast for both your tardiness and insolence. Can you run ten miles?"
His eyes are cast down and again his feet fidget. "Yes Laurel." well that's better he has got the hang of answering me.
"Take off your shirt, shoes and socks. Warren, unless your working in the garden I expect your feet and chest to be bare." He removes the items I requested without hesitation. "Warren, this is a run. I run in silence. I expect you to do the same. Match my pace and stay beside me."
I start at an easy jog to warm up. Then I run hard. I push my own endurance. He is breathing hard. As we cross the eight mile mark I let up. He won't make it if I don't. I have never shared my run. Whatever possessed me yesterday, I still don't understand. Normally, I simply would have ordered exercise and assigned a trainer. I ordered him to run with me and not just today but every week day.
Our run ends at the kitchen garden. "Warren, Josh and Gideon are in the kitchen. Izzy has breakfast laid out. Go in and eat. I will be there in an hour. Wait for me."
I head to the gazebo at a jog. Izzy is walking down the opposite path carrying our breakfast. I open the covered bowl, I was right my favorite. Steel cut oats and mincemeat compote. Izzy goes over my correspondence, my calls and finally my appointments. Crap I have a 1:00 lunch with Mason Hallay. Well, Que sera sera. There is nothing that can't wait till after lunch. Perfect. Just perfect, punish Warren, then face his older brother Mason. I am one fucked up chick, as Izzy would say. But then she would laugh and hug me.
Warren is perched on one of the stool around the breakfast bar. He is talking sports with Josh and Gideon. When I clear my throat, all three mens heads snap to look at me. "Warren, follow me." I lead him up the stairs to my suite. My seven rooms make up half of the third floor. Two bedrooms, two baths, my closet, den, and playroom.
I lead him first into my subs bedroom. It is small, white, almost sterile. There is a bed, a desk and chair, a wardrobe and a dresser. "When your here at the house. This is your room. There is a computer which is for your use."
The bathroom is attached. He spends a great deal of time just staring at all the different hoses, fountains and spigots. This room is completely marble, everything that can be damaged by water is behind a sealed door.
The tub is sunken into the floor. The shower is attached three steps up. It is an open platform with several benches. "Warren, this room is part of our play area. I don't want to scare you. The only thing you need to know for now is that I like water. I like playing with it."
It's time, time for him to see what he has really gotten himself into. He follows me back out into the hall. I stop in front of my play room door. "Warren, when we go in to this room you are probably going to be shocked. I am going to punish you for this mornings errors. Do you understand me?"
"Yes Laurel." he takes a deep breath.
I punch in the keycode and open the door. I hear his sharp intake of breath. Most doms prefer goth and mid evil themes, it is just not me. The wood in this room is light maple, the leather navy blue, and the rest is shades of pink.
The walls are decorated with the implements of the trade. The paddles hang from pink and navy ribbons. The canes lay across porcelain pegs, each with a hand painted rose. A trellis decorates one of the walls, from it hangs all methods of restraint.
There are display cases on the opposed wall, the glass shelves display an array of toys. It's contents are dark, forbidden, taboo.
I point at the tall, wide bench "Warren, go lean over that bench. I am going to gather the supplies we need." He is moving to the bench, without hesitation, I smile. "I am going to punish you. This is going to be exceedingly painful. I expect you to take your punishment. You have broken a rule and been disrespectful. You know the safe words. This is your first real punishment, I will be disappointed if you choose to use them."
He is leaning over the bench, resting his upper body on his elbows. I walk in front of him. First I hold up a two inch wide black leather strap. "Warren, look at me." His eyes meet mine. His face is turbulent. "Warren, you were late, seven minutes late to be exact. I am going to strike you with this belt. Once for each minute you were late." Then I hold up a large oval flat leather paddle. "You were insolent and snarky when corrected. I am going to strike you ten times with this paddle for that." Last I hold up a pair of leather cuffs. There is no explanation needed.
I secure first one wrist then the other. I pull his arms taunt to the legs of the bench securing them spread. It pulls him up onto his tip toes. He cannot lift his chest off the bench, his legs although extended are not restrained. I want him to get used to restraint. He is letting his head hang.
"Warren, I told you to look at me." His eyes come back up too meet mine. "When I finish, I am going to release your wrists. I am not going to speak to you or comfort you. I am going to leave and lock you in this room. I will be back at exactly 12:00. During that time. I expect you to look at every thing in this room. It was purchased specifically for you. Any item you object to is to be placed in the box next to the door. When I return I expect to find you kneeling next to the box completely naked. Do you understand?"
He is pulling at his restraint. "Yes ma'am" I slap his face. "Ma'am is not any more acceptable, than mistress is. Do you understand?"
"Yes Laurel."
I jerk his sweats down to his knees. His briefs are next. I pull them down, so his entire package is exposed. The band running right under his balls and framing the lower edge of his cheeks. I could have been gentle, but there is a point to punishment. It is not the simple pain that changes behavior. It is the whole process. The humiliation, the lack of control, the vulnerability. I stand there ready. I am watching him. I am letting his state settle in. I see the faint color blush over him. He flexes his butt, and pushes up on the balls of his feet.
I swing, it is hard, the sound reverberates against the walls as the belt meets his rising ass. I hear the air rush from his body. Before he can recover I bring the second blow crashing down. A sharp cry escapes. The third comes up catching right above the waist band of his briefs. Again he cries out. He can't keep still and I won't make him. He will learn in time. His ass, sways just as I bring the fourth strike down, it cuts a diagonal across the other red welts. He is gasping for air. Tears are streaming down his face. The last three swings are fast. His mouth is open in a scream but no sound is coming out. I lay the used belt across his shoulders.
I pick up the paddle, I place my hand in the small of his back. I wait, I let him catch his breath, now he is sobbing audibly. This will be easier for him with me holding him still. He has done very well, I am pleased. But he will know I mean what I say, and every error earns its own punishment. Each time this paddle lands it will intensify the heat, and make each little purple line left by the edge of the belt sing. I bring the ten blows down in less than thirty seconds. Again he can't catch his breath. I drop the paddle, free his wrists, and leave, closing the door behind me. He will need this time, he needs to reconcile this within himself. He needs time to process what happened to him.
I head into my closet. I turn on the two way mirror. He is standing, the belt in his hand, he running his fingers over it. Tears still run free down his face. I turn off the mirror and grant him his privacy. Now to get ready for lunch.
First my shower, my bathroom is exactly the same as the one off the other bedroom. I need to take care of this wet achy need. It's making me edgy. The last thing I need is to be edgy, when I see Mason. Crap, what am I going to say to him. I close my eyes, letting the memory of punishing Warren and the water take me.
I look in the mirror, thank-you Janie. I have on a perfectly fitted cream shift dress, it stops at my trade mark mid thigh. A pink cropped jacket, it shows off my long thin torso. Five inch cream stiletto pumps. My wedding pearls hang around my neck and wrists and dangle from my ears. I hit the call button on my phone, Izzy picks up on the first ring. "Izzy, please send Miss Janie a dozen roses from our green house. And have Josh pull Robb's Jag around". I can almost feel her mouth hanging open. I look at the clock it is 11:55. I flip on the mirror. Warren is kneeling, his knees spread, hands resting on his thighs, eyes gazing at the floor.
I open the door at exactly noon. Warren jumps, but recovers quickly. I open the box next to him, the only item in the box are the canes. I take a seat on the small couch, and pat the place next to me "Warren, please join me." He needs to stretch as he rises. He must have waited in position for a long time. He is moving slowly, each step clearly painful. When he sits next to me he can't keep the grimace off his face.
"Warren, did you look at everything in this room?" My voice is sterner than I intended.
"Yes Laurel." He still hasn't found a comfortable position.
"Is there anything in here you want to know more about?" I hold my tone, I can loosen up later. The balance between enforcement, punishment and experience is fluid, dynamic over time.
"No Laurel." Is voice is monotone. His fingers fidget.
"Do you know what every thing you looked at is and how it is used?"
"No Laurel." His voice is softer, embarrassed, a flush passes over his skin.
"Why don't you want to ask about those things, before you decide if they should be in this room?" The desire to understand evident in my voice.
"I don't need to know. After what I let you do to me today, I realized If you want to do it to me, I am going to let you. There is no need for me to know." He sighs deeply. I smile, he is overwhelmed with trying to control himself and the world around him. He's starting to let go.
