Alone again with my thoughts, I wondered how much I believed what she'd just said. Indeed, I'd told her before that I wasn't interested in having intercourse with her - at least not now. Not because I didn't find her attractive, actually, I found her to be among the most sexually attractive women I know, but rather because that act holds a special secret connection of thoughts and intimacy that I don't wish to share easily or quickly. I was willing to give her my body. I was willing to give her my mind. But there was a part of my soul I wanted for myself.
Now, it seemed, she wanted that too. And I realized that, indeed, once I let that last wall down, anything else she wanted would be hers to take. Then I remembered that she had hours to use towards meeting this goal if she wanted, and I also considered just how easily my will can be bent, doubly so by her.
As I lay helpless, pondering my fate, she returned. Somehow I expected more discussion or negotiation. But she seemed as if something else entirely was on her mind. She was silent as she went about methodically unsecuring me and resecuring me to turn me over with my back facing up.
A sharp thuddy blow landed on my ass. I knew quickly from the sound and shape of the pain it was her paddle. However, I'd never had my ass spanked when I've had a butt-plug inside me. In the past, I'd thought of the sensation a butt-plug provides as static. Its appeal being in its constance. But this was different. The tensing and movement that having my ass spanked with the butt-plug in make it feel like being fucked - hard. Indeed, quickly she landed a shower of thwapping jolts, each of which felt like she had a cock inside me, fucking me.
I began to cry from the pain, sobbing and begging her to stop. She said not a word, but rather continued, leaving me unsure if she was even listening to me. Begging turned to prayer as I lost myself sobbing and spilling out words that I knew would go unheeded. Again and again, she brought the paddle down on me without respite. I could feel the heat radiating from my ass, and I could picture the bruises forming and spreading. From crying and hysterics, my emotions ran towards anger. "This isn't want I want," I thought to myself. "Why is she doing this to me??" and finally, no longer just thinking to myself, I screamed out "SAFEWORD DAMN IT, SAFEWORD!!"
Of course, she didn't stop. Five more blows landed, even harder than the previous ones. I realized immediately, of course, that the Egg was my safeword. But once broken, it was impossible to make Whole again. And while it wasn't that hard for me to call safeword verbally, it took just that little bit more to make me break the Egg. And I hadn't had the little bit more. Yet.
She glowed with power. And as her stare locked my eyes to hers, she whispered, "I can bring you to the edge with pleasure. I can bring you to the edge with pain. I can make you look out over that rift of fear and doubt and desire. What I want, what I need from you, is the trust, the faith, the submission required to leap into that abyss. I want you to give me the Egg, and I want either see you fly, or help break your fall if you can't."
I sobbed incoherently as she took the buttplug out. I wanted to explain to her. I wanted to tell her that there was a part of me I couldn't give up to her that easily and another part of me that knew it was already hers, at least for now, if she took it. I tried to draw myself together, to reach back up to a place where I could be articulate. Just as I found the words, a savage expression came over her face.
I'm not sure why I find having my face slapped so powerful. Maybe it's because it's so personal. I don't "live" in my ass. I do "live" in my head. Her hand flew from side to side, forehanding and backhanding my face with sharp staccato slaps. I wanted to turn and curl up into a fetal ball, but I couldn't, still secured down. With a final frenzy of blows, she laid waste to my defenses, taking me right to the edge of that awe-inspiring abyss of helplessness and utter surrender. And stopped. And unchained me.
I waited, thinking there would be something else, some other sensation to set me into an overload. But instead, she just freed my hands, the Egg still Whole, and firmly in my left hand. And then I realized where we'd come. She'd taken me as far as she could. Her ethics and morals wouldn't allow her to push me over the edge; I needed to make that decision myself. She could show me what was there, but she couldn't do more without violating limits - hers and mine.
She saw that realization on my face and smiled. "It's not something I can take from you. It must be given. I'll go a long way to draw it from you, but in the end..." She stopped as she saw my hand extending to her and silently dropping the egg into her outstretched hand. Her eyes became ablaze with power and she leaned over me whispering, "Very good. I'm glad you've decided."
Then, without a word, she rechained me, leaving me once again unable to move. She picked up her rubber-tailed whip and sat across my hips. I was open, vulnerable, and needful - I wanted her to devour me. Clearly, she wanted that too, because she learned forward and with savage hunger, she sunk her teeth into my shoulder, causing a flash of incredible pain. It was as if she was moving beyond my flesh and taking my Self between her jaws, squeezing me in her vice. Then, she leaned back and gyrated her hips and squirmed against my crotch, Just as I realized how nice it was starting to feel, she started whipping me back and forth across my chest. I screamed and cried and begged her to not to stop, but to hurt me, to take me, to claim me. Back and forth came the whip - each blow a stabbing reminder of her power over me.
I sobbed and gasped in surprise as she got up, suddenly. "Please, ma'am! Please don't stop!" I cried, begging shamelessly for her to torment me, to give me her pain. My begging charged her with an energy I'd never seen in her before. She reached for something out of her bag and though my tears I could see her readying a condom to put on me. She rolled it onto my cock, stroking it all the while, preparing me. A short time before I'd have done anything to stop her, but now I was hers - and now I wanted her to take me. It wasn't a violation, it was an affirmation. She'd broken me open, she'd taken my defenses, cracked them open, and spun what she'd found inside, making it meet her needs, her desires.
She sat back on top of me, looking like a predator about to finish off her prey. She spread herself open and slid my cock into her hot cunt. Tantalizingly, she lifted up and down, then caught my eyes, locking hers on mine. I began to beg her, "Please, ma'am, please hurt me." I knew how deeply she wanted to hear that. Begging wasn't an opinion, it was an imperative. She started pumping up and down on my cock faster and harder now as she picked up that damned whip and began whipping my now-tender chest with it. I could see the welts forming on my flesh, I could feel my skin begin to break as blood began to trickle and ooze from my chest in a few places. Bouncing up and down on me now, pounding me down with each thrust, she began to climax, her whole body writhing and pulsating. Physically, emotionally, and even spiritually I could feel her extract an orgasm from me. I came hard, my mind spinning and losing touch with my body as I collapsed, and through a haze, I could feel her unchaining me, turning me on my side, and a few minutes later, lubing my ass to grind her harnessed-cock into me.
I don't know how long it was before I really regained my senses. It had to have been a while, because the sun was out, the room was filled with light, and she was nowhere to be seen. All the toys and such had been cleaned up and just as I was about to get up and find her, she came around with corner with a smile. "Breakfast is ready, and you look like you could stand to eat," she offered. "After all, you're mine for a few more hours," she noted, using her eyes to direct my attention to her chainmail flogger that sat, waiting to be used. She took my hand and led me to the table and we ate breakfast - scrambled eggs, of course.