For some it's a hobby. For others it's a lifestyle. For me, Dungeons & Dragons is a lifestyle. I got into it as a kid and have been hooked ever since. No one in my life understands. They think it's stupid, a thing only for pathetic nerds. I've been told I'm wasting my life on more than one occasion. That I need to stop and grow up. Thank God I have the internet. I know I'm not alone. There are others like me. And once a year we meet up.
Every year in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin fans gather to play the game on the largest scale imaginable. Not something as simple as the most people playing together at once or something like that. That's too mundane for the birthplace of D&D. every year on the anniversary the town throws a carnival. Notable town landmarks are transformed into campaigns that large groups try to complete. The best part? We do it all in full character. Costumes, make up, near fugue state identity disassociation, the works!
I say 'we' but that doesn't really include me. I've had to work every year. I just watch the live stream later. Sad, I know. Not this year, however! I finally managed to get the time off and I'm on my way.
Though I myself did not arrive. For the length of my stay I would remain Torrent Aalto, a level 5 Water Genasi Bard. My skin was made up, my faux armor was on, my mister kept my skin looking moist and my pan flute hung around my neck. I strutted my way around town just happy to be there. Now which campaign should I go on first? The Dragon? The Rust Monster? The Hill Giant? Maybe the Gelatinous Cube. That sounded like a fun one to start on.
Arriving at the old barn turned dungeon I signed up. I was placed in a campaign which would be led my a dungeon master using an app to control the dice. As we made our way through it didn't take us long to encounter the giant prop made from ballistics gel with dime store skeletons stuck inside. It took less time for it to kill me. So much for knowing what I was doing. It was the same all over town that day. No matter what I did it ended up the same way: abject failure.
Eventually I ended up at a local bar. Themed to be a village pub The Drider's Lair felt very homey. I could spend a lot of time here. I was drowning my sorrows at the bar but still. Nice. The lady behind the bar didn't hurt either. She may have only been 5'3" but what she lacked in height she more than made up for in tits. 34DD I would find out later. She wore a tight black corset and mini skirt made to look like webs between the legs of a spider.
"Don't get a lot of your kind in my web," she tells me.
"So, you're the Drider? Not a very spidery outfit."
"Oh, and the whole giant spider body is so welcoming to customers."
"Fair point."
"Tulloch"
"Torrent."
"Cute name. Suits you."
I blushed under all my make up.
"Thank you."
"First time?"
"That obvious?"
"Don't feel bad. Most people fail their first day. This is nothing like the actual game. Requires different skills."
"Thanks. I kinda needed to hear that."