The Dream

Warning - Those who dislike, or are offended by, sadistic acts should avoid this part of the story, since it describes cruelty in great detail.

It is not necessary to read this part to enjoy the final 2 parts of this narrative. But I hope that it adds to a greater understanding of, and sympathy for, Sheila as she comes to terms with moral and sexual problems.

The Story So Far

I am Sheila, a 25 year old, unmarried, asexual, professional counsellor. I work with 3 other counsellors in a Counselling Support Group (CSG) on behalf of a national charity in a London suburb.

But I am finding life very hard at the moment. You see, I have a big moral problem which is interfering with my work and homelife. I am in love with a married man. Let's call him John. I see him socially and we get on well. If he wasn't married, I am certain we would be partners. I hate his wife, Janet. I have hated her ever since I realised I loved her husband. In other words I have hated Janet ever since June 4 2018.

I recently had a "Herbert Freudenberger Burnout Scale" rating of "High". This indicates that I am a candidate for depression, alcoholism and other associated self-harming practices. This is entirely due to my love for John and my hatred of Janet.

I promised "The dream will strip away "the thin veneer of civilisation". It will expose a baseness that is totally inconsistent with my counsellor status. Frankly, I am horrified by showing a woman that hates someone so much."

Jung And Dreams

The "2 greats'' of psychoanalysis are Freud and Jung. However they came to different conclusions over 2 issues. The first was the existence of, predominantly older, people fearing death and the second was the interpretations of dreams. Freud was wrong about the former and correct about dream interpretation.

A Cigar Is Sometimes Just A Good Smoke

Jung was way over the top about dreams. His classic was a patient dreaming of a crab holding his feet. Jung used the myths of Oedipus, Osiris and Isis to understand the significance of the dream. He concluded that "the foot, as the organ nearest the earth, represents in dreams the relation to earthly reality and often has a phallic significance."

You will notice that Jung amplified the dream symbol of the foot with reference to his own understanding of the symbolic meaning of "feet". The patient probably hadn't even heard of Oedipus, Osiris and Isis. It is therefore nonsense to say that his dreams owe anything to the details of these mythical persons.

As Freud made clear, a cigar isn't necessarily representative of the desire to suck a cock. He said "A cigar is sometimes just a good smoke". Freud didn't go on to say "And conversely, many people who love cock sucking don't smoke cigars" but he could have done. Freud smoked cigars and Jung didn't. It would have been a neat way of saying that Jung might be a cocksucker.

Jung's Universal "Get Out Clause"

Jung relied on his knowledge of Oedipus, Osiris and Isis to "amplify" the meaning of dreams. But he claims, risibly in my opinion, that there are a set of universal myths that aid such "amplifications". Jung therefore said such "amplifications can be with reference to any kind of mythical, religious, fairytale, archetypal association". But it is the counsellor who has to interpret the dreams. A Christian, Muslim, or Hindu will interpret the same dream, from the same person, differently.

Marxian Dream Analysis

Goodness alone what "archetypal association" a humanist would use. Would the humanist find a Marxist interpretation of the crab.

Perhaps the crab would be seen as "the hurt that capitalism brings, and the need to shake off capitalism's shackles". It might even prove "the starvelings need to rise from their slumbers" which The Internationale says "will unite the human race".

In my opinion, Jungian dream analysis is subjective. The "amplifications" tell you about the counsellor and not the patient or client.

In Real Life

In real life, I have wanted to be John's wife for many years. I told John that I loved him only a year ago. But he refuses to leave Jane. He either doesn't know about her many lovers or he can't bring himself to believe it. Pride can be a strong defence against having to acknowledge that your own wife is making you a cuckold.

John's asexual characteristics means he only gets romantically involved after a long "courtship" period. So it is highly unlikely that, even if he leaves Janet, he will rush into my arms.

In his form of asexuality, John is unable to return my love. It is him being unable to love me rather than him being unwilling to love me. Most people think of other people sexually. The popular saying "I would give her one" testifies that people are lustful in their imagination, even though few actually do "give her one".

John and I are not able to think of other people sexually. That differentiates asexuals from "normal" sexual beings. We do not have the phrase "I would give her one" in our DNA. The average asexual's alternative is "I hope I can find the one person I can relate to sexually". But of course many asexuals find the thought of sex off putting or even repulsive. Asexuality has a range of different attitudes.

I hope to bring John to the stage where he leaves Janet and we live together as man and wife. But to take over Janet's place in the matrimonial bed, I must get him to realise Janet's manifold faults.

If I expose her I hope we will be living as man and wife in an asexual manner.

In reality, and in the dream, I hate Janet. She has cuckolded the man I love and demeaned him. She has spread the word that John has a small penis and that he is an infrequent and unsatisfactory sex partner.

In real life Janet stays with John for money. It is "cold hard cash for a cold hearted bitch" that means she stays married to him. A divorce after John's father died would give her a £1 million settlement. All Janet needs to do is to wait for John's father to die and he then inherits the family estate. Then she will divorce him.

Financially staying married to John and getting rich was a no brainer for Janet.

The more John and I meet and talk and share our miseries, hopes and dreams the better the chance that he will give Janet the "heave ho". I would then be one day nearer the day when I would be John's "to have and to hold, from this day forward until death do us part".

An Assexual Is "For Life And Not Just For Christmas" Flings

Both John and I being asexuals, there is no problem in us "forsaking all others". Our asexuality makes adultery impossible. John's asexuality may be partly why John stays married to Janet. He may reason that it took many years to woo Janet. Quite why an asexual finds someone who they can relate to is yet to be discovered.

Unlike John, Janet is pathologically unable to "forsake all others", She is always on the lookout for sex. Janet isn't even discrete about having adulterous relationships. For her, sex isn't about love but base lust.

That is another reason I hate her. She is cheap while John is pure.

I would rather die than give my body to anyone other than John. This is no idle boast, since, for an asexual, love is the only route to even think of wanting sex. But to be successful I must have a long period of "courting" John.

Contrast that with a Viagra man who wants sex but can't get or sustain an erection sufficient to please a partner. A male asexual can get an erection but doesn't want or need a partner. Some asexuals even fear, in the clinical sense, the thought of having sex. Most asexuals don't fear sex, it just doesn't attract them at all, or like John only after a while of getting to know the person. But enough about the background.

My Dream

In my dream, John, bought a deserted island with a view to making it a living community of asexual couples. He also acquired the title of "Laird of Tyrre" and certain rights and duties under ancient Tyrre law. The ancient laws seemed preoccupied with enforcing monogamy. Adultery meant public punishment.

I am on Tyrre because I am asexual and I love John. Even in my dream I hate Janet.

Her being on our island is the price that I have to pay for being physically close to the John of my dreams every day.

The Island

Tyrre island had been deserted for half a century. So in the early stages we had 10 couples who wanted to have the chance to live existences on a remote community. They are all rich and need to be. They are all young, fit and married couples.

To reinstate the buildings that time and weather have ruined we need to ship in all the tools and equipment. We provide the labour ourselves. We strive to make the island habitable again. We help each other, we are like a non-Jewish kibbutz. Once the buildings are restored our collective community, will tend the land and harvest the seas around Tyrre.

I am the only unmarried person on the island. John appointed me as the "Equtry of Tyrre" which meant I was the island's administrator. This signified John's total trust in me. It meant that he favoured me more than his own wife. It may also be a sign that John is getting to think of me as a potential marriage partner.

As "Equtry of Tyrre" I had the judicial powers conferred under the ancient laws. This included "Public rebuke" and "Public punishment". But I have no power to "enact the dispatch from this world". As "Equtry of Tyrre" I am second only to the Laird in power.

Equtry Powers

There is a legal precedent that shows the mainland accepts my Equtry powers.

Eighty years ago one of the islanders complained to the mainland police that she had been "publicly stripped naked and beaten upon the buttocks".

The mainland police wanted to prosecute the Equtry. They submitted a request to the Crown Prosecution Service, fully expecting the CPS would authorise the prosecution. The CPS discovered that Tyrre was like the Channel Islands in having their right to make their own laws. Therefore the ancient Tyrre laws are not affected by the mainland changes in laws.

It would take a mainland Act of Parliament to rectify this. And political expediency makes this highly unlikely.

The only quick British laws are those which authorise, or fail to authorise, Britain going to war. Most British "Acts of Parliament'' take many years to go through the various stages. The declining population on Tyrre made any Act potentially pointless.

By the time the mainland Parliament had passed the Act there would be no one alive on Tyrre.

Parliamentary Trains

A similar situation applies to the British rail system. Some British train services which must be provided because of the Railway Regulation Act of 1844.

For instance on a Sunday at 08:11 a train leaves Leeds and heads to Plymouth. It makes no commercial sense to have this journey, But the Act says it must run and so the 08 11 runs, often with only a handful of passengers. In some cases trains run with no prospect of a passenger. Even then the passenger may be someone whose hobby is riding these "parliamentary trains".

Parliament doesn't have the time to pass a new law saying they are no longer legally necessary. So these trains will still be running 2 centuries after the 1844 Act. Such are the vagaries of British, and maybe every Nation's, law making. But I think it is a uniquely British thing to have "parliamentary trains".

But other nations may have outdated laws. Our American cousins, for instance, have issues with the Second Amendment. They rely on the Supreme Court judgement, based on their reading of the English Civil War when Cromwell was fighting the King.

One wag suggested that the Second Amendment only gave the right to not wear a tee-shirt. He suggested it meant all Americans only had a right to "bare arms". It seems that the American "Bill of Rights" is the "Railway Regulation Act of 1844" written large.

The Bill of Rights hoped to stop the authoritarian "Kingship" of its President and its Congress. Britain took a different course, where we pay a group of Royals to "do nothing in particular but do it very well".

Luckily for me I have the power of a King or President on our tiny Tyrre island.

My Ability To Punish Adultery

As "Equtry of Tyrre" the format of rebuke and punishment is not dictated by Tyrre statutes. The punishments are at my discretion.

I can not use capital punishment. Much as I would like to send Janet to the next world, I can not legally do that. That is the Laird's prerogative. And John is not minded to use this power.

"Cruel And Unusual Punishments"

I am not bound by the American constitution's prohibition of "cruel and unusual punishments". I am therefore legally able to punish in ways that most others consider unacceptable. I can cause people extreme suffering, pain and humiliation. And it will all be legal.

The US Supreme Court reasoned that "handcuffing someone to a hitching post for 7 hours, taunting and denying him bathroom breaks" was against his Eighth Amendment right. The Court decided that this was "cruel and unusual.

We on Tyrre have no Eighth Amendment right to violate. Many people criticise the American judicial system. Tyrre is what might have happened in America if not for its "Bill of Rights". The people of Tyrre have no Court (yet alone a Supreme Court) to appeal that I am being unduly harsh.

I am like Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado and can make "the punishment fit the crime". Ever since being appointed Equtry I have wanted to exercise my legal authority against Janet. I didn't have long to wait.

Janet And Peter's Adultery Discovered

Peter is married to Maureen. He is rich and randy. Obviously he and Janet would become lovers. Peter had been sleeping with Janet for a few weeks when Maureen discovered his adultery. Maureen came to me as Equtry for justice. dealing with Peter was a bit complex. It took time to resolve. But Janet was unrepentant and so must be punished in accord with Tyrre law

Janet's First Punishment

For her adultery I decided that Janet could not, as the Laird's wife, be punished in the public square. But Tyrre law demanded that her punishment be witnessed. So, knowing that men like seeing women naked, I selected 3 men as witnesses.

Maureen was the only other woman there. She wanted Janet to be punished as much as much as I did. Maureen and I had Janet locked in an unlit, unheated, basement. She had nothing but darkness, fear and helplessness for company for 5 hours.

The witnesses gathered but remained silent and impassive, awaiting the sound of a riding crop striking Janet's buttocks. The naked adulteress was bought in. Her arms were bound to the ceiling.

The witnesses remained impassive as the crop first hit Janet's bare buttocks. I hit her with only moderate force but enough to make her writhe. I enjoyed watching her writhe and waited for her to stand still.

Janet knew that I loved her husband. She did not want me to feel some psychological victory over her. She had worked out a strategy to win the battle for dominance. She knew that not protesting was to retain her power.

She said 'Thank you, Equtry, for I deserve to be corrected."

At the second stroke the witnesses again remained impassive. It took away my sexual high. I had enjoyed marking Janet's bare buttocks. Her words took away my sense of righteous revenge, I decided to hit her harder. She winced and her body twisted. Damn her, she was winning the psychological battle.

Again Janet said, 'Thank you, Equtry, for I deserve to be corrected."

At the third stroke Janet winced but never complained. She had robbed me of my power over her. I still found it overpoweringly sensual striking a naked woman with witnesses.

She said "Thank you, Equtry, for I deserve to be corrected."

I said to Janet "Run around the room 4 times."

Naked, she ran at full pelt and then fell to the floor, exhausted. She was still shaking when I handcuffed her hands behind her back. The witnesses returned Janet to the darkened room. She had to remain there naked until morning. The witnesses then signed the declaration that they had seen the punishment and would never speak about it.

In this way the Laird was spared the embarrassment of universal knowledge that he was a cuckold. It also satisfied Maureen's desire to see Janet hurt. Maureen and I now shared a common desire. To see the back of Janet.

Peter

After being discovered Peter had to face the music with his wife. He told her "Janet is obsessed with me. I have no interest in her other than for sex. I just fuck her and go back to our marital bed. You are a better lover than she is."

Maureen came to me for advice. I said to her "You can divorce him and, under Tyrre law, you are the wronged party. As the wronged party you get all the marital assets."

Maureen said "I don't want a divorce, even if it makes me rich."

I advised Maureen "Ask Peter if he wants a divorce or to promise to stay faithful to you from now on. Get your husband to sign a full confession if he wants to stay married." Peter duly signed the confession, including the promise of marital fidelity.

Under Tyrre law, if the wronged spouse overlooked the indiscretion, and had a promise of no further indiscetions, then the spouse need not be punished. Maureen then added "Absolved" to Peter's confession. The men who had witnessed Janet's punishment also witnessed the confession and absolution.

Following the signed confession Maureen told me that Peter was "a very attentive lover" and that "it is as good as when we first started fucking". But lust can not last. A month later Maureen told me "Peter is less attentive. And I think he wants to screw another woman. I see him looking longingly at other women."

Peter's Fidelity Test

Maureen wanted to test Peter's marital fidelity. I agreed to help her.

I think it was Winston Churchill who said "The truth always needs a blanket of lies".

So Maureen's campaign started with the truth, She told her husband "And Sheila is a virgin. And proud of holding onto it until she finds the man she truly loves." A few weeks later she said "I think that Sheila is giving up finding her true lover."

Over 2 months, she hinted that, as the only unmarried woman on the island, I was getting sexually fustrated. She then hinted that I was bisexual. Then she implied that I had bondage fantasies. Meanwhile Maureen gave me the details of her friend who actually was bisexual and into bondage.

One day she told her husband "Sheila now has a lady friend. They are both into kinky bondage."

Then a few days later she said "Sheila has some sick fantasy about losing her virginity in a threesome. It is disgusting. She is supposed to be upholding our Tyrre laws, not fornicating. And luckily you won't be getting into their clutches."

Peter took the bait hook, line and sinker. He wanted to stray once again. He jumped at the chance to have kinky sex with 2 women, one of whom was a virgin. He had no inkling that I had no such intention. He came to see me a week later to sound me out.

He said "I have heard disturbing rumours about you. People say that you have a lesbian lover and that you plan to have a threesome. In principle, Maureen is happy that I help you out. But she doesn't want to know the full sordid details."

I told him "You are lucky that your wife is so understanding. Most would divorce you in a heartbeat if you deflowered their best friend. Maureen and I are friends. We discuss our fantasies sometimes. I do feel burdened by my virginity. I do have this peculiar need for light bondage."

Peter was all ears. I could have asked him to run around the island naked and he would have done it. Men in the heat of lust are easily led.

I continued "Maureen assures me that you are a great lover. But I gave 3 reservations. Firstly that you couldn't handle 2 women at the same time. Secondly that you must bear some light bondage before deflowering me and lastly that our session might hurt Maureen. For instance you may fantasise about me and not live up to your conjugal responsibilities. I don't want to be your full time mistress. i just want to lose my virginity in this special way."