The Diary

The Dairy

My first time at a femdom party

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Pretty penny

The tension in me had lasted a long time, it had teased and created so much excitement that it was difficult to concentrate when I sat on the train. The train took me to something I had never been to, something that teased me a lot... I would be allowed participate in my first femdom meeting at a bdsm club.

The day had been reasonably hectic, I had stopped by a large shopping center to pick up some sexy lingerie I had ordered. Next stop was the post office. Now I sat with everything I had picked up in a bag on the train. The closer I got to where I was going, the more nerves came into play. This was going to be the first time I'd ever dressed up in front of others! When I got off the train and started walking, a message ticked in.

"Hi Slut, are you far away?"

"Hi Mistress, no... I'm just around the corner. Will you wait for me?"

"Yes Slut, I'm waiting for you now".

The nerves had really started to work inside me, maybe this is a bad idea? Should I really get dressed in my slutty clothes? But the thoughts disappeared when Mistress took my hand. Together we went into the club.

Inside the atmosphere was good, so much variety and people watching, but that it was a Femdom Night was clear. Mistress women everywhere who brought their subs. I was lucky since Mistress joined me when I had to change. It was with the usual deceptive clothes.

I opened my bag and slowly pulled out my newest purchase, black stay up stockings. I fastened them in place with a black garter belt. A black blonde thong panty sat nicely in place. A matching black bra filled with inlay breasts had finally arrived when I checked at the post office. I continued with a white slim fit shirt and a black tight leather skirt that passed slightly over the buttocks. A leather corset sat in place with black leather boots as a finish.

I opened the other box I picked up at the post office. It was a black bdsm mask. I now felt fear in me, now I became restless. I did not dare to see myself in the mirror. I followed Mistress out into the room. Lots of people stood around chatting, some watching me and others flirting. Nerves built up, anxiety, What The Hell am I doing, I thought. The enemy had now arrived, I felt the fear inside me now awaken.

After some chatting and fetching drinks for my Mistress, there were tasks for all submissives. I felt the fear just build up, no... I can not do this. She saw clearly that I was not calm. She stroked my shoulder, before pulling my head to hers and whispering my ear.

"Now Slut, do this challenge, it is an easy task I know you can do, I think you will like it too. Now, stand with your ass facing me, then you'll will feel 3 spanks from me."

I got up slowly, turned my ass toward her. She stroked my ass outside the skirt. Then it came, spank, spank, spank! I sat down carefully, but the fear in me was still there. How do I explain how I felt? I had so many expectations of myself, but here I sat, scared and thinking about how you solve challenges like this.

Did I have too high expectations of myself? Especially when you want to perform.

The feeling of be able to show how far my fantasies have come, and lust with my own achievements, done alone through pictures, and toy's, all received nice comments. Pictures that show confidence and achievement....

But when you are going to meet other people, it is like running and hiding in a shell... you have an enemy within you, someone who should not be with you... But it is lurking, it is with you around every single corner. It holds you back, yes the enemy in yourself... Yes, THE FEAR.

Sitting with other people creates fear, fear of failure, not being beautiful enough... fear of not being good enough... fear of not being able to show ones inner audacity, ones inner beauty. But Mistress saw my fear, she needed me away from those thoughts.

"Now Slut, come with me, I'll lock you in a cage. You know that's one of the tasks for the evening."

I was scared, a cramped cage? Help.... The task was actually to be locked up for 5 minutes. She took my hand, slowly she led me into the cage, the door closed and the padlock was put on.

But then something strange happened, I started to feel fearless in the cage. My thoughts just disappeared, my eyes just closed off on all the rude words she seduced me with. The horniness built up, it started to grow in my panties. It did not get easier that she stood behind me and started to spank my ass.

Another Mistress asked if she could put her slut in the same cage as me, the tighter the better she said. My Mistress just smiled. The new slut came into the cage, I adjusted my gaze a bit, this other slut was actually incredibly handsome. The slut was so sexy, I started to get a real swelling between my legs. The slut stood there in just a pair of boxers. He stood there with only a big smile and his eyes closed. I just got more and more horny, I struggled to keep my hands away from the sexy unknown person in front of me.

The whole situation became completely strange, what happened next. Time stood still and the people around me just disappeard. The other people around started to suddenly have no concern anymore. The rudeness of my dares had now woken me up, the horny slut in me wanted to play. I did not care that my Mistress started to pull up my skirt, exposing my completely smooth ass, my brand new stay up's... I got stroked up the butt and started to get slapped and slapped before my ass got stroked again with love from Mistress.

It was strange, I started to get aroused by a other man, another slut. Someone I have never seen and do not know, but suddenly I want to touch this person, stroke his shaft, kiss him. I want to do something dirty and just get more and more dirty thoughts, yes thoughts about what I want to do with him. Is this possible? A place where actually everyone can study me more, but it does not matter. There was no worry anymore, I was so horny, the slut in me has woken up. Horny, lustful, hungry.... Yes, I'm so HORNY!!! Why?

Why was I so horny for this man, this slut? I had never had such an ignition before. I stood with my eyes closed and just fantasized how much I wanted to stroke my hand up his thigh, playing in his boxers. To pull them down and slowly start to feel him, yes, I would kiss him. I wanted to get on my knees to suck him, watch him enjoy every second of it.....

But just then, as my Mistress took me out from the cage, the cramped space, a cramped cage... then reality came back and the enemy inside me is back, yes, FEAR takes over again... Then I was happy I had someone who held my hand, someone who took care of me, created security.

I started again and felt the fear, but still I was so horny, the whole rest of the evening I could not help but see this other slut. I wanted him so badly, why?

The evening was coming to an end, horniness and frustration were deep within me. I went home, horny, and confused...