The Deepest Desire

I've never known I had it in me.

The feeling hiding deep inside me, the need thriving to be fulfilled, suddenly expanded all over my body and my soul.

I told him my deepest desires and found the magnificent goddess inside me. He changed me forever...

Chapter 1

Elza

It was my last night in Venice. Two impressive weeks of my life in Italy with my best friend flew away in end, though. How could I leave all the adventures behind and return home? Nobody was waiting for me there.

My boyfriend Luke broke up with me a couple of weeks before our vacation. He didn't give me a decent reason like he wasn't ready, "it's not you, it's me," he said.

The breakup was out of the blue, as there were no warning signs, no fighting. Luke didn't want to talk to me about why he decided to end our relationship. He shut me off completely.

I tried to reach him via messages and calls but he didn't answer. All I wanted was a decent explanation. I deserved it.

We met in the spring on the dating app. Yes, I know, dating apps are not taken seriously but I thought we had a spark between us.

He claimed he loved me a couple of weeks before breaking up with me. Bastard, what can I say. How can you tell a person you love him if you're planning to break up with him? It didn't make any sense. He just cut me out of his life like nothing happened, as I've never existed.

I felt like a fool. He was like a spider, trapped me in its web with lies and sweet talk. I was angry, mostly at myself, because I let him play around with me like that, I didn't question him ever for anything.

He said he loves me. What was I supposed to think?

I didn't want to see him ever again. I wanted revenge.

The worst part was, we had a trip to Italy planned, we were supposed to go together. I had all the tickets and reservations, so I suggested my best friend Monica to join me. She said yes because it was her dream to visit Italy someday, so it played out almost perfectly.

The worst part was, we had a trip to Italy planned, we were supposed to go together. I had all the tickets and reservations, so I suggested my best friend Monica to join me. She said yes because it was her dream to visit Italy someday, so it played out almost perfectly.

Monica and I went sightseeing, swimming, walking on the beaches. The food melted in our mouths, drinks were exceptional and the experience was phenomenal.

I was happy, I forgot everything about Luke. The vacation was even better without him, I was with a person who loves Italy as much as I do.

However, everything comes to an end. Today was our last day of a fairytale, the final thrill. After this night, I must return to reality, where sorrow and demons are waiting for me at home.

I didn't want to face them, I didn't want to return home where I was broken up with and humiliated. So, this night in Italy has to be marked, I thought.

"What do you want to do on our last evening here?" I asked Monica.

"I'm tired and homesick. I'm glad we are going home tomorrow. I want to stay in and relax. You may go out if you want," Monica noted.

I respected her wish, even though we had an amazing time, the last 2 days were a little rough. Monica caught a cold, so I could understand why she wanted to go home, she was exhausted.

However, I didn't intend to stay in the hostel on our final night, so I opened the dating app while Monica was on the phone with her boyfriend. I was ready to meet somebody new for the first time after my breakup. I wanted my brain to ignore Luke's existence and conceal my pain. I needed to forget everything that happened and make this night worth remembering.

There was one problem: I couldn't find anyone decent enough to meet up with on the dating app. Boring messages tired me, I couldn't stand them. I've almost lost the last bit of hope, until...

"What is your favorite ice cream flavor," popped up on my screen.

Wow, I love ice cream. My profile bio says "life is always better with ice cream". I'm glad he caught my hint: ice cream is always the best topic to start a conversation.

At least with me because I was in love with this dessert. Monica was too. Best friends, what can I say... Gelato was one of the reasons why we loved Italy.

"Chocolate or mango. What's yours?" I answered.

"I like chocolate flavor ice cream but it's not my favorite dessert," he answered.

His name was Gérard, from France. He was also on vacation in Italy with his friend and wanted fun. We agreed to meet up after a couple of hours.

Luckily, Gérard and his friend booked separate rooms in their hotel. My mind needed an escape, and my body demanded physical touch. I was eager to go on a date with a handsome guy.

"Let's play a game, shall we?" Gérard texted me.

"Sure. What kind of game?" I agreed and checked out his profile picture again. He had brown hair and green eyes looking at me with an unspoken lust.

"It's about our deepest desires. You will tell me one of yours, and I will reveal mine to you.. Ladies first," he declared.

This game seemed steamy, though I didn't know what kind of desires he had in mind. How far should I go with my answers? To be honest, I didn't know much about physical pleasures since I was only 20 years old. But here I was, ready to talk about my deepest desires like I knew all of them.. I didn't know how to feel pleasure with a man; I'd never felt it before.

"Neck kisses. They give me the most pleasure," I played safe.

"That's not your deepest desire. You are cheating!" Gérard made a point and sent me a wink.

Sure I had fantasies. The question was, how many was I willing to disclose? Could I trust him? Will it be same as the past or it will be different this time?

Sure I had fantasies. The question was, how many was I willing to disclose? Could I trust him? Will it be same as the past or it will be different this time?

I knew why.

I've never told him what I really desire.

To be honest, I didn't think he'd understand. Once I've told him I'd like a little spanking but he took it as a joke, he said I watched too much of "50 Shades of Grey". I've never talked about it with him again.

Why I was together with this guy, you might ask.

Well, he seemed genuine and honest, he took care of me, treated me right. He was a good guy.

Or better to say, he played a good guy well.

Losing control was my deepest desire, I knew that a long time ago. I decided to tell Gérard the truth. He didn't know me, I knew our date will lead nowhere because we live in different countries, so I felt safe opening my heart to him.

"I like when a guy takes control in his hands, and I don't have to think."

"I see. So, if I decide to kiss you, will you kiss me back?" Gérard tried to provoke me.

"I will, but only if you smell nice," I giggled. I loved when a guy wore a nice perfume..

Monica gave me a curious look, "Elza, I know your smile. You are going on a date, aren't you?"

I completely forgot she was with me in the room. Gérard's charm made me lose my mind for a moment.

"Yes... So there's a guy from France. His name is Gérard, we are meeting near his hotel in two hours," I explained.

"It's about time you go on a date. Forget Luke, you know he doesn't deserve to be in your mind. Just be careful!"

"Are you sure you want to stay home?" I wanted to make sure.

"Yes, I'm exhausted. I will talk to my boyfriend, shower, and go to sleep. Call me if you need anything." She continued talking on the phone, and I had an unread message on my screen.

"Don't worry, I smell great! Do you have some more deepest desires to share?" he replied back.

"I'll be sure about your smell only when we'll meet. Aren't you forgetting anything? Don't try to skip your turn."

"I will share my deepest desire when we'll meet." I played smart.

Gérard

It was my first day on my short vacation in Italy. As I've never traveled alone before, I was excited about new experiences awaiting me.

Or so I told myself.

My girlfriend cheated on me with my close friend a week ago. They were having sex for over a month and said nothing. I found out accidentally.

One evening my girlfriend Béatrice and I were watching a movie. She went to the kitchen to prepare some snacks. Suddenly I heard a message.

I thought it was for me, so I reached for my phone. But I saw my girlfriend's mobile lighten up; which was laying near mine.

"Will you ditch Gérard and come to my place for fun?" showed the notification.

The message was from one of my closest friends, Mark. Why would she go to his place in the late evening? It didn't make any sense.

"I want to taste your both lips," another message said.

I wasn't stupid. I knew what was going on. It was a betrayal of two very important people in my life. I couldn't understand how could they look me in the eyes and pretend like nothing was happening.

We were friends with Mark since our childhood, and I was dating my girlfriend for almost two years. We had amazing chemistry, perfect intimacy, and meaningful conversations. It seemed everything was great. Maybe everything was great for me only and it wasn't for her.

Why didn't she say anything?

When I confronted Béatrice, she admitted everything.

"It was a mistake. I'm so sorry. I should've told you," she claimed.

Her words didn't matter to me anymore. I could never trust her or Mark ever again. I left Béatrice's home immediately, thank God we didn't live together yet.

I haven't talked with her since that evening, though she tried to reach me. Béatrice called not only me but tried to reach my sister. I texted her to stop trying to contact me. I needed time and I didn't want to think about her. I lost almost two years with her.

I haven't spoken about the betrayal with Mark either. He called me several times but I didn't answer. I have to say, it was even more hurtful to know that I lost my best friend. It could've been any other man, it would've been easier.

But it was my best friend. I couldn't forgive them.

They didn't deserve my attention, and I didn't want to hear their apologies. I didn't want to see their eyes, I didn't want to hear them, I certainly didn't want to meet them on the street even if we crossed paths. However, it was tricky since they both lived in the same neighborhood as me.

I needed an escape, so I looked up some plane tickets, bought a four-day trip to Venice, and downloaded a dating app.

It was already an evening, but I wanted to occupy my thoughts tonight. I didn't want to deal with facing my emotions. I hoped this trip will help me to forget everything about them and move on.

I didn't expect to find an interesting girl there. I just needed someone to spend the evening with because I didn't want to be alone. I was swiping left and right quickly, I didn't bother to read their bios. I thought, if she looks good, it's enough to make a decision.

The right decision.

One of the girls had an amazing smile and curly hair. Her name was Elza. Her bio was epic. "Life is always better with ice cream."

It was fun to chat with her, I lost track of time. She truly loved gelato, I loved how passionate she was about this dessert.

It's a shame she leaves tomorrow, but we still have this night. We decided to meet after a couple of hours.

But first, I had to know what kind of woman she was.

I took my famous "what is your deepest desires" card. This one always works smoothly. At least it did when I was single a long time ago. I hope it still works, though.

She was playing shy at first; I have never met a girl who doesn't like foreplay and neck kisses, she was no exception. I pushed her further, and Elza was brave to admit she likes a controlling man in bed. And it's exactly who I want her to be. My deepest desires card played out smoothly. However, I didn't reveal her my deepest desire, I never do. It's so much fun to keep them in uncertainty, to keep a mystery I get to choose to reveal or not.

"I'll share my deepest desire when we'll meet," I wrote.

"It's not fair," she answered.

"I know. But isn't interesting to have a puzzle you'll get to reveal in person?"

"You broke the rules of your own game, though!" she replied back.

Oh, I was surprised she doesn't like to give up easily. I like a challenge! I talked to myself in my head.

"It's my game. You don't know the rules," I smiled.

I was eager to meet her, it was fun to play my words with her because she was intriguing and didn't give up easily. It was almost 2 years since my last date. Even though I tried to play it cool, I didn't know if I still had the lion in me.

I was glad my first date will be in Italy, with no strings attached. It was supposed to be a fun evening, that's all. I promised her to smell good, so I went to a shower and put on some perfume after.

20 minutes were left until our date when I heard my phone ringing.

It was Mark.

Chapter 2

Gérard

On one hand, I didn't have time to deal with this, but the other part of me wanted to solve everything that had happened and forget it once and for all.

Though, Mark was the last person I wanted to talk to. But I had to.

He was my friend since our childhood, we shared many memories and painful moments. We had a history and I used to love him.

I still loved him. I couldn't just delete our friendship and bond. I was mad at him more than I was angry at my ex-girlfriend. I knew I'm capable to find another woman to love and cherish life. I was hurt she did that to me, but it was even more painful to know that my friend betrayed me.

I couldn't find another friend who was with me almost my whole life. It was simply impossible.

However, I knew I can't keep running from him. He used to be my friend and I'll have to speak with him eventually, at least hear him out. So, I picked up the phone.

"Hello," I mumbled.

"Hi, Gérard. Look, man, I wanted to talk to you about the situation with your girlfriend I got myself into," he said this all in one breath.

"My ex-girlfriend whom you banged. I'm listening," I cut him off.

What could he possibly say? He couldn't change the past or make things better. Why did I answer the phone at all? I questioned myself.

"I'm so sorry. You're my friend and I was disloyal to you. I know nothing I'll say will fix my mistakes. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me."

Was he serious? How could I ever forgive him? He was lying to me for a month. I couldn't trust him, who knows what else he could have been hiding.

"There's one thing I don't understand. Why? Why are you saying sorry to me? If you did care what I think, you wouldn't have made love with her in the first place."

"It was a moment of weakness..." Mark wanted to convince me.

"A moment of weakness. Cut the crap, man. You didn't do it just once, you kept meeting each other for a whole month." I didn't believe him.

I was furious and shouted at him, I lost my temper. How does he dare to face me with such lame excuses? Why couldn't he own the truth and accept that he was wrong?

"I'm really sorry man. Can we please meet up and talk to each other in a bar or something?"

Seriously? He wanted to meet? I couldn't believe the man. Is he insane? I hoped our paths will never cross again, and I hoped I will succeed to avoid him when I'll get back home.

"I'm in Italy. I don't know if I could ever trust you again. Our conversation face to face wouldn't change anything. Don't call me again, I want to forget everything, especially you, and have a great time in Italy without Mark, who once was my dear friend."

I hung up as I didn't want to hear any of his explains. He wasn't worth it.

I went to Italy to forget everything, to have redemption for my soul, to bury everything far away from my mind. I'm glad I talked to him. Now I can fully enjoy my escape without having him in my mind all the time or constantly seeing missed calls in my phone.

Although, a little part of me knew it wasn't over yet. But I tried to lock this feeling far away because I had a date and I wanted to have an amazing time.

I checked what time is it.

Shit, I was late for 30 minutes.

I checked the dating app. I had two messages.

"I am already here, where are you?" it was written 20 minutes ago.

"I waited for you for 15 minutes. Since you haven't responded, I'm heading home," this second message was just a minute ago.

I hoped there was still time to fix our date.

I hope Mark didn't mess up my fun in Italy, I thought.

"I'm so sorry. I'm already going down the elevator. Where are you?" I hoped she'll respond as I didn't want to mess it up.

We had a spicy conversation on the phone, and I've planned a romantic experience for both of us.

I had bought some Italian red wine which I put in my backpack. No girl could resist a man who'd planned everything ahead.

As I texted I saw her walking down the street. The elevator had transparent walls, they were like huge glass windows. She didn't know I could observe her, and she looked beautiful. She was wearing a red dress, like in one of her pictures. She was walking slowly, so I suspected she was still hoping to meet me.

I saw her stopping to check her phone. She smiled, I guessed she saw my message.

"I'm going home like I said I am," it was her text.

She sounded angry but I saw she stopped walking with a smile on her face. She wanted to seem strong, and I could understand her. It's impolite to be late for your first date.

And I was the late asshole.

We changed a couple of messages. She was still acting annoyed, so I played along. I had to make it up to her. It was the right thing to do.

I bribed her with a special place in Venice I found the last time I was here. Her last night in Venice should be special.

It was a relief she didn't run from me. I didn't want to waste more of my time trying to find another girl on this dating app, and I didn't want to spend my night alone.

Elza

I was waiting for Gérard for 30 minutes already! I hated my time being stolen, so I had a rule: don't wait for your date longer than half an hour. I wasn't that desperate. Who does he think he is? The king?

I was already going home when I saw a notification from him. He was sorry.

He was going down the elevator. He wanted to know where I was.

"I'm going home like I said I am," I texted him back. He shouldn't feel so confident he will still get me.

I played frustrated but I couldn't control my smile. I was happy I won't spend my last time alone walking around Venice or with my friend inside the hostel. I didn't want that. My last night had to be marvelous and worth remembering.

"Please don't be mad, I had a phone call. I'm sorry."

He seemed genuine, though I didn't want to make it too easy for him. It was he who made me wait for 30 minutes without a text. I thought he catfished me.

"Oh well. It's your loss, unless you know a way to make up for me." He wasn't going to get me so easily.

"I'll show you a special place in Venice which you probably wouldn't find without me."

"Okay okay. I'm not that far away. I think I can already see you." I said.

I saw a man getting closer to me. His steps were confident, he was looking strictly into my eyes. As he was getting closer, he warmly smiled at me, I smiled back.

He gently hugged me, kissed my both cheeks, and said hello. I could smell his perfume. He did smell amazing.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I had an important call that I had to answer." Gérard made excuses.

"Be careful. Your special place has to redeem your sin, so it must be magnificent," I teased him a bit and he laughed.

His voice had deep rich notes, I could've been listening to them all night. You could always bribe me with a strong sexy voice.

His eyes were even more lustful in person. He looked at me like he was about to drink me. He could've kissed me right that moment, and I couldn't have resisted.