The Decision

These are my thoughts about what could happen if I lost everything. This is going to be a series book. These characters are not real, but they are based off of people I know and love.

No REAL personal information will be displayed or shown.

I hope you enjoy!

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I ran my fingernails down my boyfriend's back and one thought kept popping up in my mind and I felt so guilty. Here I was with one of the best men on earth and I kept thinking about crashing and burning. What if I failed college and didn't graduate?

Thankfully, I had plan that I could fall back on.

I kept repeating that idea in my mind since portfolio was so close. I had a friend who was always interested in having a pet sex slave. So I had this dream. This dream was about me failing and burning my whole entire future.

My portfolio teachers had just told me that I should just give up, which was a slap to my face; since I thought I had the teachers' support. I walked home later that day, alone. I can't believe it...I had no future.

I was more than 50,000 dollars in debt. What the hell was I going to do?

Then it hit me.

Mark. My friend Mark said his door was always opened for me.

My heart sank, I hadn't wanted to give everything up. I wanted the marriage dream. I wanted to grow old with my boyfriend as wife and husband but now...

I felt like I couldn't. I had this horrible feeling in my gut and I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to...I wanted to disappear. That was my back up plan.

I felt sick to my stomach. How was I supposed to break this news to my lover?

For a year and a half, my lover had been nothing but supportive of me. Now I had no future to return to. The money debt weighed heavily in my mind.

I crossed the street and instead of going around the alley, I stepped into the alley. It wasn't dangerous but it was about nine thirty at night. Half way down the alley, I stopped and found a good place to sit down to cool off.

I pressed my back against one of the sides of the building and closed my eyes. My mother had texted me not too long ago telling me how proud she was of me.

My stomach turned.

How was I supposed to break the news to my parents? My family?

I can't do it. I just...I can't. I was so upset I felt like I couldn't even return home.

My stomach turned again and I slid down the side of the building.

I felt so dizzy and so sick I couldn't think straight. I looked at my phone and that option kept popping into my mind.

I had to break up with my lover, Aaron.

My mind spun. No I couldn't do that. No...My heart cringed and my stomach turned even more. I thought I had a future with him. No I can't break up with him. I can't go home. I can't do anything.

I decided to disappear.

I finally got the courage to select my friend Mark's number on my touch screen phone. It dialed his number.

I listened to it ring and I hoped to the God and Goddess (I was Wiccan) that he wouldn't pick up.

Unfortunately, Mark had picked up.

"Hi Kiki," Mark said. "What's up?"

Kiki was my slave sextexting name in high school. Mark gave it to me because I was learning Japanese and Kiki meant pudding. He said that I cum so much that it had the texture of pudding and it was probably just as delicious.

Of course at the time I cringed at that compliment.

Tears started to form in my eyes. I think my failure finally hit me.

"Mark," I said and sniffled. "Remember when I texted you about me giving up my life to you as a sex slave?"

There was silence for a moment. Then he responded, "yes-yes, why?"

"I failed portfolio." I sobbed. "I have no future and I can't break up with Aaron. I love him too much. I just want to disappear." I paused. "Can I disappear with...with you?"

There was silence again. I think he was too stunned to form words. After all, this was his ultimate, perfect dream.

"Of course Kiki," Mark said finally. "But are you sure? What about Aaron?"

"I love Aaron so much to the point where I can't let him go." I blubbered. "But I can't disappoint him. I don't know what to do but disappear. If I disappear, I won't have to worry about my money debt or anything."

"Debt?" Mark asked.

"I'm over 50,000 dollars in debt." I told him.

Mark sighed heavily. "Don't worry Kiki, I'll take care of everything." He said. "Where are you?"

"I'm in Denver, can you pick me up?" I asked him.

"Yes, I'm leaving right now." Mark said and I heard his car door shut. "But Kiki, are you sure? Because if I come and get you and you change your mind, I'm not doing this a second time."

I paused. This was my only option. I thought for a moment and realized what I was doing. I was giving up everything. Including, the love of my life. Was I ready for that? I was a paranoid schitzophrenic. Was I really ready to give up the one person who has loved and cherished me even with all my faults?

Aaron deserved better. He deserved a better girl than me. Espeically a girl with a future. I sighed heavily. I sniffled wiped my runny nose. My life was about to change drastically.

"Yes." I told him.