BUKAKKE AND DOM
"What do you think?" Gwen smiled. Jacob stood behind her as she surveyed herself in the mirror in the bathroom. Her nipples were pierced with gold figure eights and a medium weight gold chain hung between the two.
"I like them. I just wish I wasn't so sore. Can you at least take off the chain?"
"I can't. It requires a tool. When you're done with the third level. But you have a few days to baby them."
"While I recuperate from having my wisdom teeth removed. Oh boy."
Jacob kissed the nape of her neck. "Does it hurt there?"
Gwen smiled. "No." She felt a flutter as he nuzzled and licked his way up her neck and behind her ear. He was beginning to swell as he slipped his arms around her waist and pressed his hips into her.
"I could kiss them better."
A weak smile flashed. "Did you watch?"
"I did. There were cameras everywhere recording everything. You were hot."
The smile faded. "How can you still love me?"
Jacob stopped and turned her to face him. "How could I not? You sacrificed to give me a gift. To protect me. I understand why and I'm grateful, but I'm supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around. The price you paid was high."
"Protecting you was protecting me. You don't know what it did to me to see you like that." Her eyes grew large as she caught his expression and remembered Carrie. "You do know what it did to me. Then you understand why. What you did was for nothing. It didn't keep anything from happening, but I could make what you have to go through easier."
Jacob nodded. "You're right. My reaction was instinctive. I understood the consequences, but it was worth the price to me. What does that tell you about how I feel about you?"
Reassurance flooded through Gwen and he enfolded her in his arms. "Hold me close. Hold me close." He crushed her to him. It hurt but she didn't care. She cried herself out as he held her rocking her back and forth and stroking her face and hair. Her tears were tears of horror over what she had done and what had been done to her. They were tears of relief to be with Jacob and away from Jerry.
Finally he pulled away again and looked into her eyes. "I think you set yourself a pretty heavy schedule the last few days. You're a little frazzled. You're hurting. You haven't seen me enough. You're tired. A little empty?"
Gwen heaved a huge sigh and nodded.
"There are sandwiches in your room. You're scheduled for a massage. Then we can go to my room if you like and you can sleep." Gwen nodded. "I have Tylenol."
She whispered, "Yay."
*********
Gwen felt like she was floating. She could see stars. They were so close she felt like she could touch them. Jacob had told her the Doctor would use her and to expect it. There was nothing she could have done to stop him anyway. Still, it nagged at the back of her mind. He kept asking her questions and she heard the buzz of her voice, but she had no idea how coherent her responses were.
She woke with a start. There was pain in her right nipple.
"She's with us now."
"Are you okay, Honey?"
Gwen squinted at Jacob. She felt dizzy even though she could tell she was lying down. There were butterflies in her stomach. He was talking to her but she couldn't make sense of the words. Her jaws felt like someone had clapped them in a vise. Someone else was talking. To Jacob. It was such an effort to breathe.
***********
The next time she woke up was to the murmur of voices. She was in Jacob's bed. He looked at her and smiled. "You have visitors." She pushed up awkwardly. She was in a t-shirt and shorts. Her nipples were so sore. Her jaws were sore. She looked at Jacob in confusion. "You don't even remember how you got here, do you?" She shook her head and sat up. John and Jerry were there.
"We brought you soup." John pointed at a large Styrofoam cup with a lid. "How are you feeling?"
Gwen shrugged, "'kay." Gwen sat up and reached for the cup. Jerry looked like a whipped puppy. He looked down quickly as she looked at him. "Jerry." She waited until he looked at her. She patted the bed and he moved to sit next to her. He was wringing his hands. Gwen whispered, "If you have something to say then just come out and say it. Maybe you'll feel better." Jerry glanced at John and Gwen saw him nod.
"I have been apologizing to a lot of people." She waited as he stopped to gather himself. "A lot of people have just walked away.... Some of them have slapped me.... I didn't expect much...." He stopped and looked at her wringing his hands. "Even Joseph..." Gwen glanced at Jacob and back to Jerry.
"I have talked to Joseph. It's not that he won't forgive you. It's that he is going to have to work at it." She sighed. "There's no doubt in my mind that you are sincere. I know you are hurting and struggling. What you are doing now is hard, but it needs to be done. Everyone isn't going to forgive you, but you need to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I told you I was going to have to work on it too. In the meantime I want to do whatever I can to support you." She paused before continuing. "I think you should go by Michael from now on. I think Jerry is long gone."
He nodded.