The Birthday Candle

You know, the older I get the less I seem to care about my birthday. I turned 33 today, and I'm not exactly happy about it. I spent the entire day at work, and seeing how the adult world doesn't give a shit about what day you were born, it was a long and stressful day just like any other. I then picked up the kids after school, came straight home, and I've been here ever since. Dinner has been made and devoured, leftovers are in the fridge, homework is all done. The kids have had their baths, we played some cards, and now they're in bed. As I finally sit down on the couch and put my feet up, I realize I'm utterly exhausted.

My thoughts wander to my other half, my Master, who isn't home yet. I knew after He told me this morning that He would be working late and I genuinely accepted His apology for missing my birthday. I do understand and in the moment it truly didn't matter to me, but now I find myself wishing He were here. Unfortunately, I don't expect to see Him before I go to sleep tonight. I won't lie, I'm a bit disappointed. I would never admit that aloud, but I can't deny it to myself. I'm lonely and I want my Master. I don't care about the day of the year; when He's near, every day is like my birthday.

I lean my head back on the couch pillows and close my eyes. Now what? Do I go to bed? It's only 8:30, it feels too early to sleep. Guess I'll watch something for a bit. I sit up and grab the remote, turning on the TV and opening Netflix. Predictably, I head straight for the documentary section and locate one I haven't seen before. This will be a good distraction; I love David Attenborough, can't go wrong with one of his.

About 15 minutes into the show I see the reflection of headlights move across the wall above the TV - someone is pulling into my driveway. That's weird, I wasn't expecting anyone. I pause my show and go to the door to see who it is, but before I get there it opens - and there He is. I feel my face stretch into a huge grin, I can't help it. My Master is home and I couldn't be happier. I greet Him with a kiss as He walks in, and ask Him how His day was.

"No work talk for the Birthday Girl. Here, I got you something."

He hands me a small gift bag, and as soon as I feel the weight of it I smile knowingly. He gets me the same gift every year, and every year it makes me just as happy as the last. I pull out the tissue paper and reach in to grab what I know is inside - a red, lily scented candle, my favorite kind. He knows because He's the reason it's my favorite. I smile and thank Him, hugging Him as He hugs me back, making me feel more appreciated than I have all day. He pulls away from me, kisses me on the forehead, squeezes my butt, and steps around me.

"I gotta take a quick shower. I'll be right back."

"Okay, babe." I reply absentmindedly, my thoughts lost in long forgotten memories. I pull out a chair at the kitchen table and sit, smelling my candle, suddenly overcome with love and emotion at the smell. That smell... it triggers memories of a special night, so many years ago...

**************************************************

*10 years earlier*

I can't fucking believe He's ditching me on my birthday! We've been together two months and things have been going so well - He seriously couldn't get the fucking night off work to take me out? Not even just an hour for dinner? I sigh heavily as I dig another spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream straight out of the tub and stuff it in my mouth. Damn, it's nearly half gone. Eh, fuck it. It's my birthday, I can do what I want. Let this extra sugar be tomorrow's problem.

I could have gone out with my friends, but what's the point? I would have only been thinking of Him the whole time anyway. He's on my mind constantly now, I can't do a damn thing without Him haunting my every thought. Is this what love is like? I've never felt like this; had this need to be near another person so much. I don't like it. But at the same time, all the longing dissipates entirely when He's with me once again. I'm so mad at Him...but I miss Him too. If this really is love, I'm not entirely sure I want anything to do with it.

I find myself trying not to cry as I sit on my couch in my Wonder Woman boyshorts and red tank top, stuffing my face with ice cream and feeling sorry for myself. All this over a fucking guy?! A guy I've only been seeing for a couple of months? What the hell is wrong with me? I sniff and wipe a tear with the back of my hand before grabbing the remote to turn up the volume on the TV. Fuck thinking about my sad sack of a life; I'd rather get lost in the drama of Real World. I figure they're just as hopeless as me, but at least they're more entertaining about it.

I get lost in the show and before I know it, I've eaten the entire container of ice cream. Great, that's gonna go straight to my thighs. I walk to the kitchen to deposit my spoon in the sink and toss the empty carton in the garbage. As I open my fridge to look for something to drink, I hear a knock at the door. Who the fuck is that? I told my friends I didn't want to go out, and they had better not be trying to force me into it.

I shuffle angrily towards the front door and stand on my tip-toes to see through the peephole. Holy fuck, it's Him. My heart stops in my chest and I feel ice in my veins. What is He doing here?! He's dropped me off at my door after dates, but He's never been inside my apartment! We always go to His place, it's so much more spacious and clean - oh shit. In that moment I take a quick glance around my small one bedroom apartment and realize that it's a fucking disaster area. He can't see it like this...

"Be right there!" I say at the door and then turn and run at top speed towards the pile of dirty laundry just outside my hallway. The empty laundry basket is right next to it - why do I never put it IN the basket?! I chide myself as I throw everything in the basket, including the random pieces of clothing I've left scattered all over my living room. As I grab discarded bras and socks and toss them in the laundry, I hastily grab all the balled-up tissues I've left on the coffee table along with chocolate bar wrappers and dirty glasses that I was too lazy to carry to the kitchen. Holy fuck this place is a mess but I do the best I can to clean it in as short a time as possible.

As I'm throwing away all the crap from my coffee table and putting glasses in the sink I hear another, louder, knock at the door. "I'm coming!" I shout in the general direction of the door. I finish my last-minute tidying up, carry my now-full laundry basket into the bathroom, and head towards the front door. I catch a glimpse of myself in the full mirror by the door and realize I look like hell. I quickly run my fingers through my hair and grab some strawberry lip balm out of my purse, dabbing a bit on my lips and rubbing them together. I don't have time to change... fuck. This will have to be good enough. Anyway He's seen me in a lot less than this.

I open the door but don't disengage the chain lock, peeking out through the gap in the door. He's standing there, looking... well, ragged. Long day at work, indeed. He stands in my doorway, looking imposing yet somehow reluctant at the same time.

"What... what are you doing here?" I don't have to hide my confusion; that's genuine.

"I wasn't about to miss your birthday."

"But you said... "

"I had to work? I did. It's past midnight, I half expected you to be asleep by now. Glad you answered the door. Care to actually let me in, though?" He says, pointing to the still-engaged chain lock.

I blush and close the door, unlock the chain, and open it again. I step aside and gesture with my arm that He's welcome to come in. He looks around, taking in His surroundings while I stand there barefoot and barely dressed, horribly embarrassed at the state of my messy apartment. I find myself wishing He had called first so I could have had more time to clean.

"I've never been inside before. You have a nice little place here. Love the Spiderman poster. Speaking of, those Wonder Woman panties are really working for you."

I blush as words fail me. I manage to stutter: "Um, t-thanks..."

Good going, that was real elegant. Dammit, He really has a way of getting me flustered. It's as if I forget the entire English language when He speaks to me. As I watch Him silently look around, I notice in a moment of panic that a pair of panties is on the floor right next to His foot. Shit, I must have dropped them when I was tidying. I make a move to discreetly pick them up before He notices - too late. He bends to grab the panties, then holds them up in front of Him, inspecting them.

"These are sexy."

I turn crimson and snatch them from His hand, absolutely mortified. "Anything else you want to tease me about while you're at it? You didn't even tell me you were coming, you know."

"I know. It was supposed to be a surprise. So are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Surprised."

I answer Him in the form of an icy glare. He turns and I see a small, pink gift bag in His other hand. Did He bring me a present? My expression must have changed quickly; He's clearly caught onto my thoughts.

"Yeah, this is for you. Would you like to open it, or are you still mad at me?"

"I suppose it can't hurt to take a peek."

He smiles and hands me the bag, while leaning and planting a kiss on my forehead. "Happy Birthday. Hope you like it."

I try to contain my excitement as I pull out the sparkly tissue paper and dig into the bag to find my gift. My hand touches something cold and glass; feels like a candle. I pull it from the bag and confirm my suspicion. I love candles, this looks like a nice one. I open the lid and smell it... mmm, lily. My favorite flower, the kind He gave me on our second date. I've never seen a lily scented candle in red, though. My favorite color. A thoughtful gift, to be sure.

"Thanks, I love it."

"You're not done yet. There's more."

A squeak escapes my lips and my smile spreads as I reach into the bag once more and touch... is that leather? I wrap my fingers around the item and lift it out of the bag - and my breath catches in my throat. It's a beautiful yet understated collar made of fine black leather with a circular, silver hook for a leash in the front. It looks like it fastens in the back, much like a belt, with spaced holes to adjust the fit.

"This is a collar." I say more to myself than anyone else. This gift definitely caught me by surprise.

"Yes it is."

We had talked about collaring before; He is my first Dom and I had asked a little while ago if He would collar me. I know I'm new to all of this but I also know that I want to be His, I want Him to own me. I've craved it since shortly after we met. The last time I asked, He said no - that I wasn't truly ready, and neither was He. Which begs the question:

"What changed your mind?"

"You're ready now. We've played enough, we've bonded enough. I'm ready too. I know you inside and out. I can read you like a book, love."

I can't help it; my smile betrays me and I give in to the joy I'm feeling, throwing my arms around Him, still clutching the collar in my hand and squeezing Him tight.

"Thank you." I whisper into His ear during the embrace.

"You can thank me later. In fact I'm certain you will thank me - over, and over, and over." He chuckles.

I laugh too and playfully punch Him in the arm as I release Him from the hug. "That's what you think."

"No. That's what I know. Now show me your bedroom. Bring your gifts."

I grab the candle and collar in one hand, and grab His hand with the other, leading Him toward my bedroom. In the short walk down the hallway I realize... dammit, I didn't make my bed. I mean, I never do, but if I had known He was coming I would have. We step into the room together, and I immediately set down my gifts on my dresser and rush to my bed, apologizing for the mess as I attempt to make the bed as quickly as possible. As I bend over to straighten the covers, He grabs me gently by the wrist.

"Stop."

"But it'll just take a sec-"

"Please don't argue with me. Stop making the bed. It's just going to be a mess again soon anyway."

He releases my arm and I stand frozen in place, pouting about my bed being a mess and not sure what to do now. I turn to look at Him and as soon as my eyes reach His, my face flushes and I look away. He grabs my chin and brings my gaze back to His.

"You're going to look me in the eye while I collar you. And once you're mine, so is your attention. So when you look at me, I expect eye contact. Is this understood?"

"Yes Sir." My breath catches in my throat. I am horrible with eye contact.

"And I am tiring of 'Sir'. Starting tonight, you will answer my questions and commands with 'Yes, Master'. Is that understood as well?"

"Yes..."

"I hear hesitation. Do you have any issues with that? Be honest. Tell me what you're thinking."

"It's just new, that's all. But I'll do my best."

"All of this is new for you. But if you weren't ready for this, I wouldn't have allowed it. You've handled everything I've thrown at you so far, and beautifully so. I believe that you can do this. If you're feeling nervous, know that that is perfectly natural - but don't let it get in the way of what you want. Now I will ask this only one more time: Are you absolutely sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes... Master."

His face changes from loving concern to childlike joy as the biggest grin spreads across His face.

"I like the sound of that. Come here."

He moves a stack of books off the armchair in the corner of my room, where I like to sit when I read. After the books are stacked neatly on the little table next to it, He takes a seat - but then jumps up, screaming:

"YOW!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Oh my fucking god! He sat on my small plastic hairbrush, I forgot I left it there! I can't help but laugh as I reach down and pick it up, then hold it up for Him to see.

"You sat on this."

He tilts His head in amusement and looks at me, then snatches the brush from my hand and holds it close, seemingly inspecting it. All the while I'm still holding my hand out, waiting for Him to return it to me so I can put it away. He looks at my hand and then at me clicking His tongue.

"Tsk tsk, you shouldn't leave things like this laying around. I think I'll hang onto it for now."

He tucks it into the breast pocket on His sport coat, loosens His tie a bit, undoes the top button of His shirt, and settles once again into the chair. He looks up at me, wearing a sarcastic smile.

"It's a lot more comfortable when there aren't bristles in my ass."

I laugh. "I bet it is."

He leans forward, seizes me by the hips, and pulls me closer. I shuffle forward until He stops pulling; my toes are now touching the chair. He stares at my body for a moment, moving His eyes up and down, taking in every inch. I suddenly feel very self conscious and move to cover my torso with my arms, but He stops me by gently grabbing my hands and holding them in His.

"Don't you dare hide this beauty from me."

I slowly lower my hands back to my sides when He lets go of them and moves His hands back to my hips. I stand still and silent, waiting for Him to say something, to do something. I have butterflies in my stomach and I swear to god my heart is going to beat right out of my fucking chest. There's no way He can't hear it pounding, it seems so loud to me. Finally He speaks:

"Bring me the collar."

I turn crimson and immediately turn, cross the room and pick up the collar, carrying it back to Him with two hands. He reaches out His hands, palms up. I place the collar in them as He clearly expects me to, and stand in front of Him once again feeling awkward.

"I want you to kneel. Right here, in front of me."

He scoots to the edge of the chair and parts His knees, allowing enough space for me to kneel between them. I sink to my knees calmly and gracefully, just like He taught me. I pull my feet underneath me, tucking my toes and resting on them. I straighten my back, stick out my chest, raise my chin, and meet His gaze.

"Very good. You're getting better at that."

"I've been practicing."

"Good girl."

Whoa. Those words always send a shockwave of delight through me; for some reason they make me feel so... alive. I look at Him and smile, not even trying to hide my happiness. I suddenly find myself wishing I was wearing something sexier...I didn't exactly imagine this big moment happening in my Wonder Woman pajamas. But I push that thought to the side, too excited to really care.

"Are you ready for this, beautiful?"

"Very."

"Pull your hair up for me."

While looking Him in the eye I do as He instructs, using both hands to pull my long hair into a hasty ponytail, then using the right hand to hold it out of the way while the left returns to my lap, palm up. In that moment I feel my face get hot and my eyes dart nervously away from His. This eye contact shit is hard!

"Look at me, babe." He says, soft but stern.

I summon up the courage to lift my eyes and meet His gaze once again. He continues without missing a beat; taking the collar in one hand, the front of it centered in His palm. He wraps that hand gently around my throat, with the collar between His skin and mine. He uses His other hand to grab the two ends of the collar in the back and once He has them, lets go of my throat and holds them in place.

"Turn to your right."

I grab onto His knee for support as I turn until my left side is facing Him, still kneeling and holding my hair up with my right hand. Damn, I'm so fucking excited. I can hardly contain myself, I'm positively vibrating on the inside. With my arm out of the way and me turned to the side, He's able to see the back of the collar and secures it in place; not too loose, not too tight. Perfect.

This feels... it feels like it belongs. I was worried it would be too tight or uncomfortable, or that I wouldn't feel right wearing it, that I didn't deserve it...I had so many concerns - but they've all disappeared in an instant. He finishes fastening the collar, and His hands leave my neck. I let go of my hair and let it fall around my shoulders again. My heart flutters as if skipping a beat, the most beautiful and touching moment of my life now complete. I hear Him sigh happily. Then I feel a gentle pull as He hooks His index finger through the loop in the front, and pulls so that my head turns to face Him.

"You've never looked more beautiful than you do right now. Because now you're mine. All mine. My beautiful, naughty little slave."

I smile mischievously at Him.

"Is there something you want to say?"

"Thank you, Master." I say, putting a little extra emphasis on the last word.

"The sound of those words leaving your lips will forever excite me. Good girl."

Speechless in the moment, I can do nothing but smile at Him. My Master.

Suddenly He grabs a handful of my hair and pulls down, forcing me to look up as He leans over me. He comes a bit closer and plants a tender kiss on my lips, lingering for the perfect amount of time before letting go and grabbing my hand instead, helping me to stand. After we are both on our feet, He smirks, raises one eyebrow, and gestures with His head in the direction of my bed.

"You know, that thing is kind of perfect for what I have in mind. Nice and sturdy metal frame, four solid posts... we're going to have a lot of fun with that bed."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough. Right now I need to go to the kitchen. While I'm gone I want you to find three scarves, it doesn't matter what they look like. You have scarves, right?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good. You will find the scarves, then kneel in position and wait for me with the scarves laid over your hands, across your lap. Is that clear? Do you have any questions?