The Benefits Of A Girlfriend Ch 04

Chapter Four: Haters, Assholes, and the Hands of Fate

On the way home from school the next day, still feeling weird about the extra lubrication inside my girlfriend the night before, I decided to stop in the little drugstore to purchase some condoms for Adam so that he had no excuse not to wear one.

When I got to the counter, the place was empty except for that old lady behind it.

"I need a box of the extra extra large condoms." She grabbed a box off of the rack behind the counter and rang them up avoiding eye contact, so I egged her on, "What? Nothing smart to say? Aren't you going to tease me this time?"

She looked up at my face, "Oh, it IS you. I thought it was you. Don't be starting no trouble for me, mister. I can't believe you had the nerve to call my boss and complain 'bout me teasing you after what you said to me, pointing out your little stiffy that you say I caused. I shoulda had you arrested for public lewdness."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I didn't call your boss. Like I said before, I was happy you said those things to me. I even told my girlfriend about you and she said I should thank you. So, thank you."

"If you ain't called my boss, who dun it?"

I shrugged, "I don't know." I looked behind me, "But there's no one else in here now, so you can say anything you want without having to worry about it."

She looked down at the box of condoms, then up at me and smirked, "Well, thanks to you pointing out your little bulge last time, we know these ain't for your teenie weenie. Aw hell, I've seen plenty of guys coming in here with gym shorts or sweatpants with bigger bulges that weren't caused by no stiffy. If these ain't for you, who they for?"

"My roommate."

"Oh? An' why doncha roommate buy his own condoms?"

"I don't think he wants to wear them."

She gave me a puzzled look. "So why you buying 'em for him if he don't want 'em?"

I looked at her, smiled, winked and looked down at the box of condoms, "Because he'll be using them with my girlfriend."

She looked down at the box of condoms and as she looked up her eyebrows were raised and she was grinning from ear to ear, "Your girlfriend got tired of your poodle noodle already, so she's in heat for a big dog's swinging ding-a-ling. What's it been, a month?"

I smiled but held back the laughter from her colorful, yet weirdly erotic terminology. "Two."

"You should count yourself lucky it lasted this long. But good for her. You need to bring that smart girlfriend of yours by so I can meet her, if she doesn't kick you to the curb before then." She put the box in a bag.

I handed her some cash, "I don't think she will. She loves MOST of me."

She laughed, "Well good. A bird dicked fella who don't mind buying condoms for his girlfriend to use with another fellar's human size dick sounds like a keeper to me. The world would be a much better place if all the ones like you acted like you. But they go off and start wars and bankrupt companies trying to overcompensate for what they ain't got. And dare a woman tell 'em she need a bit more to get her happy and they go off beatin' 'er up, rapin' 'er, or maybe even shootin' 'er. So, you wanna the few good ones in my book." She handed me my change.

"Thanks," I smiled at her.

"You're welcome, son. You seem like one helluva kid. Do come by again and share some stories, would ya?"

"I sure will," I answered as I turned and left.

When I got home, I handed the box of condoms to Adam.

He looked at them and smirked, "Thanks, man. These will come in handy this summer."

"They're not for this summer. They're for you to use with Kristy."

He laughed at me, "I don't wear condoms with Kristy. I never have and never will."

Shocked and angry, I looked at her. "Yes, it's true," she confessed. "We'll discuss this later in bed, Michael, where you can appreciate it."

I let it go, somewhat pissed and somewhat excited about what she was going to say and how difficult it was going to be to hear. It was more of a disappointment than a shock after two nights of witnessing him not wearing one.

Later that evening, after I performed the 'key to her heart' and licked her pussy to orgasm while she sucked his cock, I was getting ready to mount Kristy when Adam complained, "Can't I go first this time?"

"Huh?" Kristy asked.

"Well, you like my cock better, right? So why do I always get his sloppy seconds?"

"Wait a minute," I interjected. I noticed Kristy rubbing herself as I spoke, "There's nothing 'sloppy' about it. I have to wear TWO fucking condoms to keep my prick juice out of her. I don't cum until you're the one who makes her pussy 'sloppy' with your nasty cum. And, only then, when her pussy is all stretched out to the max from your cock am I permitted to fuck a pussy I can barely feel until I cum into a condom. Sloppy seconds? You got some nerve, buddy."

Kristy was listening intently, rubbing herself feverishly.

"It's not like before, though, when I was her boyfriend. You stretch her out some," he argued.

"But not like you do. I'm really just getting her warmed up. You're getting the best of her, what do you want it all, me wanking in the other room like before?"

Wide grinned, he replied, "Why, yes. That's exactly what I want. Thanks for offering."

"Fuck that," I groaned, annoyed.

"Enough!" Kristy interjected, "All this talk has got me hot. I'm ready to be warmed up by my boyfriend while I suck your cock to warm you up, Adam. Don't get jealous and think of it as him fucking me before you get to. I don't get any more stretched out from his prick than I did when you used to finger me with your middle finger. You showed us last night that they're practically the same size. So, just think of it as him fingering me with HIS middle finger to get me ready for YOU."

Adam gave her half of a smile and pushed his cock to her lips.

I'm not sure if her words aroused him at all, but I know they did me. After I climbed off of Christy, following my two minutes of 'finger fucking her with my middle finger', she was ready for him. But, Adam seemed to have an attitude when he mounted her and began to fuck her half-heartedly. Seeing the disappointment on her face, I tried to think of a way to console him and bring back his sexual energy so she could enjoy it. I certainly wasn't ready to give up the only two or three minutes of raw physical pleasure I was relegated to during our sexual encounters, but I still wanted to help him get past his jealousy that she was MINE and would always choose me over him. But, my mind drifted back to the story she told me about the time she didn't; the time she chose him over me.

"Adam?" I asked after pulling up a barstool and taking a seat a few feet away from the bed.

"What the fuck do you want? I'm trying to fuck!"

"Kristy told me this hot story about the first night you fucked her, when she chose you over me. I'm not sure if it's true or not, though. You told me that we were all drinking, I couldn't handle my liquor and passed out, and then you and Kristy discovered a mutual attraction and couldn't help yourselves since you were drunk. So, who lied to me? You or her?"

Kristy gave me a dirty look. I winked at her and smiled. She smiled back and looked at him, "Come on, baby, let's tell him the story about the first time you proved you were better than him just like you're proving right now! We can do it together."

He looked at her and smiled before kissing her lips. She placed her hand on the back of his head to ensure he stayed there until his thrusting rhythm improved both in passion and intensity. When that kiss finally broke, he looked at me, "Alright loser. I'll start. Remember when you were getting ready to go out with her and you asked me for a condom and it was my last one so I told you that it was my lucky condom so I'd only give it to you if you had a picture of her to show me so I could see whether or not she was worth fucking?"

I had forgotten about that little exchange, but now remembered, "Yeah."

"I took one look at that picture and I realized two things. First, she was WAY out of your league. And, second, she had potential to be MY girl. I love to fuck and I love to fuck a lot of different girls. You wouldn't know, but different pussies feel different. And I wanna feel them all. But, I fucking hate wearing rubbers. I do most of the time just cause I'm not interested in STD's or some pregnancy drama, but I always try to have one girl, MY girl, that only fucks me and takes the pill so I can fuck her bareback and nut inside her."

"Oh, baby. That's really sweet, in a way," Kristy moaned lost in his words and the slow steady thumping of his abs against hers. I didn't like that she was calling him 'baby' but knew I had to 'take it'.

"But what about the party? Were those girls really coming over?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, they were until I hatched a plan to fuck Kristy. When I realized you took my last condom, I thought maybe it was fate telling me I was supposed to fuck her bareback and make her my girl. So, I called up those bitches and told them I wasn't feeling well. Then I texted you and told you that if you brought her over after the movie, there was still plenty of beer to help you get lucky. Before you got back, I shaved, showered, put on cologne and deodorant and changed into a tight shirt that shows off my muscles and my tightest jeans that highlight my package."

"Oh, yeah, baby," she moaned as he thumped into her, "When I saw you walk across the room, I first noticed how tall you were and then the way your muscles looked in that shirt and I even stole a glimpse at your bulge. But as you came closer, my eyes studied your hair, your beautiful face, and those amazing eyes. When you reached out to shake my hand, I was trembling, drooling, and ready to come. I wanted you to take me right there before we ever even spoke."

"I noticed that. I also noticed you were hot as fuck and the picture didn't do your face justice, let alone your ass and tits. I would have fucked you right there, but we had a little problem at the time I needed to deal with first." He looked at me and laughed.

"Fuck," I blurted out from the mix of emotions and arousal. "So how did you deal with the problem?"

"Poorly, it seems, since we still have the same problem. It just won't go away!" he mocked thrusting hard and fast as he said it.

Kristy giggled, "Adam! Not so mean! Michael's not going to be a problem to you anymore, are you honey?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean," I thought as I looked down and shook my head.

"I'm just fucking with you, man. Hey give me a hand, Mike. I want to switch positions." He picked her up and moved her head to where the crown was an inch from the on the side of the bed. Then, he lifted her legs, "Grab her ankles, man, and hold her just like that." I did as requested and noticed what he was doing; in this slight variation of 'the anvil', he had her pussy mound fully exposed for him to slide the entire length of his cock in without obstruction or resistance. He entered her quickly but stopped with a couple of inches to go. He pressed forward ever so slightly, "You feel that baby?"

"Oh yeah. Oh, hell, yeah. You're about to enter my cervix. Take it slow, please?" she begged.

He did, creeping in about an inch at the speed of a snail. He withdrew an inch at the same speed and then back in. Her delicious moans were obscured by his groans. Although they annoyed me, I realized that I would never and could never imagine the pleasure he was getting. I pictured the head of his cock being tightly gripped by her cervical opening. After about a couple of minutes, he withdrew nearly all the way and rapidly plunged himself in to where I heard his balls slap against the cheeks of her ass. She cried, "Ohhhh."

He held that position. "You like that baby?"

"Like it? No I fucking love it. Please tell me you're all the way in. You're touching the back of my cervix. I can't take another fucking centimeter."

"I am baby. I couldn't go any deeper if I tried."

"Do you realize what that means? Your cock was made to for my pussy and my pussy was made for your cock. It means we're meant to be together."

"That's what I told you before, baby. We're meant for each other. It's fate." Then, he resumed his slow downward full length thrusts.

"Oh my god," I thought, "Is it over. Did I just get dumped? Replaced?" I was afraid to ask, determined to enjoy the scene and take every bit of pain that came with it even if it was indeed the last time I'd ever get that from her. Then, I noticed Kristy's mouth just inches from my prick and dreamt of her reaching out her tongue and licking the underside of my shaft. At that moment I desperately needed some stimulation, but was afraid to ask for that either. Tears started to pool in my eyes, though.

Just then Adam looked up at me, opened his eyes wide and raised his eyebrows as if to indicate some kind of surprise. I feared he was going to poke fun or point out to Kristy that I was crying. Instead he smiled and winked before continuing, "Where were we? Oh, yeah, I was telling you that I was just fucking around about you being a problem, Mike. In fact, you're becoming less of a problem all the time. But back then you were a major problem. You would have tried to cock block me for sure and I had to preempt that. That was actually pretty easy. First, before you got there I laced your beer with a powdered laxative. I knew you wouldn't realize that your Summer Ale was a bit more citrusy than ours. The next step was to get you to agree to play a game of Asshole with me, of course, winning the first hand."

"How did you do that? Did you cheat?" I asked.

"I planned to, but at the last minute decided to reshuffle so fate could decide. I thought it would be pathetic if a guy like me really needed to cheat to beat a guy like you. But, as she seems to keep doing, fate made sure we were dealt the hands we deserve; in that case, the hands that made me the president and you the asshole so I could make you drink for disobeying me whenever you weren't willing to humiliate yourself for my and Kristy's amusement."

"That got me wet," Kristy added.

"I know, I was fingering you!" he laughed.

"Fuck, really, with me sitting there?" I gasped.

"Yeah, I dared him to finger me when you got out of the bathroom," Kristy moaned.

"For me, I knew I had her for sure when I made you go and fetch me a beer, then I made you take it back and bring me another one because it wasn't cold enough and I heard her giggle. So, I did it again and she started to laugh. Shortly after, you excused yourself to use the restroom and I asked if she actually planned on sleeping with 'this loser'. And what did you say, Kristy?"

"Um... Oh, yeah. I said you're mean! That I thought he was your friend!"

"And I said he is. I just think you can do better. I think you deserve better."

At that point, I seemed to disappear in their eyes as they began to speak as if we were back in that time and I was in the bathroom. Kristy replied, "Oh yeah? How much better."

He pointed to himself and said, "This much better."

"Really... you think? That's a lot better! Like probably ten times better! Even more."

He smiled. "I could tell in your eyes the moment we met that you wanted me."

"It doesn't feel like we just met, though. I mean, Michael talks about you often enough."

"Oh, yeah? What's he say about me?"

"Mostly good stuff. He says you're a nice guy and a good roommate. He does call you a 'player' though. I think he's just jealous. Oh, and I asked him to describe you and he did pretty well, I guess. But, he didn't adequately convey just how gorgeous you are."

"He's right about me being a 'player'. I love to fuck and I fuck a lot. But, he's told me everything about you. You're practically the only thing he ever talks about. He told me about how your ex did you and I'm pretty sure I can stay faithful for a girl like you. I feel like I already know you and like you better than any girl I've been with this year."

"Really? What do you know about me that you like?"

"You're funny, fun, and smart enough not to pass on your one opportunity to have this all to yourself," he said pointing to himself.

"Oh my god! He didn't tell me you were so cocky!"

"I'm not cocky, baby. Just confident and honest and faithful, but only if you'll agree to be MY girl."

"Okay, I will. But what about Michael? He's a great friend and I love hanging out with him. I really don't want to lose that."

"You don't have to unless you want to. I know his type. Back where I'm from we called them Horny Ass Turd Eating Rejected Sycophants."

She laughed, "You called them what? What's a sycophant?"

"A sycophant is like a brownnoser or an ass-kisser. So, we called them Horny Ass Turd Eating Rejected Sycophants or H.A.T.E.R.S. for short. Those are the guy-friends every pretty girl has. They try to be nice to her in lame-ass attempts to hit on her, but she rejects them and says she just likes them as friends. A real man knows to take a hike and spend his time on a girl who will fuck him, but these losers eat up all of the pretty girl's bullshit. They constantly praise her and do whatever she asks on the non-existent chance that someday she'll see them as anything more than the losers they are. But, when a guy like me comes along who has everything she wants, the HATERS try to cock block us and we have to deal with them before we can get to her."

As he was saying this I could hear Kristy having her first orgasm of the night. I thought he was going to follow, but they just kept going and talking as if they hadn't even realized she came. After regaining her breath, Kristy continued, "Oh, wow. That's so true. I've seen it, too. So, you think Michael's one of those HATERS?"

"Well, yeah, look at it. You're going to reject him even though he'd do anything to prevent that. But when you do, he'll still kiss your ass and eat the bullshit you feed him. But, Mike's smarter than most HATERS. He knows deep down that he's not good enough for you and I think tomorrow he'll be happy that you're with a guy who not only is, but also isn't threatened by your friendship with him. We just had to get past tonight and I took care of that."

"What did you do?"

"I'm not telling you. Not until I get my finger in your pussy."

"Oh? Well you're not getting your finger in my pussy until you tell me."

"Okay, then. We're at a stalemate. How about you break it by kissing the tip of my cock?"

The whole time this re-enactment was going on he was fucking her in these long slow strokes like a machine. I was envious of his muscular stamina. There's no way I could have gone half that long without pulling a muscle. I realized definitively that I would never be able to compete with him when it came to fucking. My prick ached from the prolonged erection and steady oozing of pre-cum into the condom. Without those preventative measures, the beautiful face below it would be covered in my goo and I don't think any of us would have been happy about that at that particular moment.

I looked over and saw her foot. Even though that's never been my thing, I thought it really looked pretty, so I leaned over and kissed the sole. She giggled, "You like my feet? You can suck my toes if you want..."

Not thinking and not entirely being myself, I retorted, "You can suck my dick if YOU want..."

She laughed, "Thanks, but no thanks."

Adam chuckled.

"Can't you just lick it a little, just a few times. Please, baby, I really need to feel you."

"Nope," she giggled.

"Just once, then, please?"

She moved her head to the right and stuck her tongue out as far as it would go. I quickly shifted my hips trying to catch it but she pulled her tongue in just before I got there. Then she moved to the left and achieved the same result. I started swaying my hips back in forth. "You're cheating," she laughed. "I'm not playing anymore." When I stopped moving, she blew on the underside of my prick. "That's as close to a blow job as you're ever going to get from me." They both laughed at this and I wondered if she was serious. "If you really need to feel me, you can suck on my big toe instead of asking me to suck yours."