For those of you who are in the hurry, a little warning: it takes a while for me to get to, well, to the naughty parts. My editor complained about the story being long β and he got the version that had been translated into English, trimmed and then trimmed again. Mind you, he didn't say 'too long', and, personally, I read more before breakfast, but some of you may want to come back some other time.
The rest of you β imagine, if you will, a balcony.
*
"Okay, so then I asked him if he wanted to go to 'The Fountain' β and he just shrugged. Again with the shrugging! I can see how you might not think of a place you want to go to β you know, sometimes β but if I ask about a particular place, how hard is it? Just tell me if you want to go. Just a yes or a no, how hard is that? Not a shrug. A yes. Or a no. It's not that hard, is it? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. See? Real easy. I can do it. You can do it. Why can't I find a man who can do it?"
It's hard to chatter and look indignant and stuff your mouth with blueberries and ice cream all at the same time, but Natasha's good at it. Lots of practice, you see. She invited me over to tell me about breaking up with yet another guy. I have to admit I'm not listening very carefully; the story changes little and I've heard it already, but it's a lazy summer evening, she makes the best ice cream I've ever tasted and doesn't mind when I put my feet up on her windowsill.
In my humble opinion, a guy not being overly assertive about where he takes you out for a drink is not a reason to break up with him. I can see her trouble though β it's romance, after all, it's supposed to be all whirlwind and swooning and memorable, and here we have the hero shrugging indifferently at the choice of the setting and likely keeping to himself that he doesn't care where they go to, as long as there's a tv or she promises to invite him up to her bed afterwards. A guy not being overly assertive about anything ever β that's what's bugging her, although I have a feeling she doesn't quite realize it. I'd tried to talk to her about it once and she ended up in tears.
I need a change of subject and it comes in somewhat unexpected form. "Um... Is he doing what I think he's doing?" I ask and she nods darkly, without even looking over her shoulder. She's leaning on the railing of the balcony and, behind her back, on the construction site across the yard...
"Yep. Our yard is a urinal." She pouts. "Disgusting." Then she pats me on the knee. "Hey, stick your tongue out at him!"
I know my mouth must be a mess and my tongue violet; there's ice cream in my cup somewhere but it's hard to find it underneath all the frozen blueberries, sour cherries and whatnot. "I will if you do it too."
She frowns, cocks her head, and finally smiles, turns in her chair and leans over the railing. "Hey, you!"
The poor little construction worker is quite taken aback by the sight of two girls sticking out their tongues colored with blueberry juice and giggling. I'm not sure if it's because we'd caught him with his pants down or because of what we're doing. I imagine we look like two Dracula brides, tongues sticking out and dark liquid all over our mouths. I know Natasha is a sight, with her innocent blue eyes, porcelain skin and lush lips, usually pink but now blood red with fruit juice as if she'd just fed on someone's carotid. And I'm just the opposite, with black hair, dark tan and eyes that make people uncomfortable, if that's what "I nearly soiled my underwear" means.
I assure you, the effect is rarely intentional.
We slump back into our chairs, still smiling. "I wonder if that one will pee from the second floor again," I giggle.
"Shame none of them is anywhere near cute," she says almost simultaneously. For a second, I'm confused; construction workers are not her type. Owners of construction firms, possibly even an architect, but grubby brutes who use her yard as a urinal β definitely not. But then, when it comes to sex, you never know, people may surprise you every now and then.
So, "Mmmmhm" is all I say. She digs into her ice cream with a spoon as if there's a diamond wedding ring at the bottom of the cup and, if I'm not mistaken, there's a bit of a flush in her cheeks.
"Shirtless," she says and raises an eyebrow in a challenge. It's a game we invented about two years ago when we were in Greece on a vacation and realized how much fun it is to invent sexual fantasies in a middle of a full restaurant when no one has any idea what we're talking about. Or, with all those who can understand us wisely keeping it to themselves.
I can actually see her pupils dilate as I smile. "Sweaty," I respond.
She wrinkles her nose but then we both take a moment to enjoy the picture.
"Tattooed," she says.
"A little sun," I offer, and she grins because we know someone with a sun tattooed on his chest.
"No," she says decidedly, "it has to be something more... um..."
"A dragon."
She nods happily. "A big scarlet dragon."
Oh, my. Next she'll ask for it to be looming out of his pants. "On the small of his back."
She frowns, but doesn't argue. "Blue eyes," she proposes, for my sake.
"Ah, green perhaps?"
Her eyebrows rise. "Really?"
"Yup."