Author's Note: Hey all! The story continues again.
In this chapter, Rachael decided to try the submissive chat room again. Only this time, things turn out better for her.
I want to say again that this isn't a daydream and most of this stuff is based on my life (this one more loosely based, as this Dom asked for more privacy). So, the scenes aren't going to necessarily be amazing because I'm still trying to find out who I am and what I want. If it's not your cup of tea, please just move on. I don't care for the rude comments and I will delete them. Constructive is fine, rude is not.
This story is written for me and I decided to put it on Lit to see if anyone had comments because I feel like I have no one in my life who won't judge me for this. At the very least, writing is helping me work through who I am and what I want.
I'm working on writing one of my daydreams in another story (
Not So Temporary Housing
), so hopefully that will be up soon too.
shy_daydreamer
**********
After Carson decided to stop seeing Rachael, Rachael wasn't sure what to do. She felt alone, but she couldn't talk to anyone in her life for fear of judgement. So, she decided to do what she always did with sensitive topics. She started writing.
Rachael started her job shortly after the 'breakup', but she wrote during any free time she had. June kept asking her what she was doing. Her response was always journaling, because this was a type of journal entry. She
was
working through things.
Rachael finished the first chapter and looked back at it. It was about her first interaction with Doms online.
But it wasn't written as well as she hoped. She wished it made a better story. She wanted it to be more interesting.
But at the same time, this story was basically her life. She wanted to work through her life, not constantly daydream of a better one.
She wished things turned out better with the Doms. She wanted a better story about that. She figured in between the chapters of this story, she could write more of her daydreams. But right now, she needed to focus on herself.
Rachael wasn't sure about posting this story on the website since it described her feelings in depth. She normally wouldn't do that. She kept herself safe by keeping everything to herself.
But what she was doing wasn't working. She needed reassurance that her life could get better -- that she could figure out what to do. And she sure wasn't extroverted enough to ask someone else.
Publishing this story may not be the best thing, but she hoped it was a step in the right direction. Rachael hit the submit button.
**********
A few days later, Rachael got on to see that her story was published. She held her breath. She knew that there would be ratings and while she figured it wouldn't have a high rating, she didn't want it to be low either.
Rachael was pleasantly surprised to see a 3.93 out of 5-star rating. And then she noticed a comment below.
It was another user, telling her that her feelings were valid. She asked Rachael to try the chat rooms again. She also recommended being more upfront with Doms because it's hard to assess each other over a chat.
Rachael was thankful for the comment. It gave her something to think about. Could she try it again? Rachael wanted to, but she wanted to have a good experience too. She was afraid of trying again and having the same results.
Ultimately, Rachael decided she would try again. She waited until she published her second chapter -- where she talked about Carson. She decided that being afraid was getting her nowhere. She needed to learn to put her anxieties to the side and take a leap.
Shortly after she published her second chapter, Rachael took that leap. June and SJ were gone for the weekend.
It will be fine
, she repeated to herself.
It's online and I can ask to stop if it's too much.
Rachael stripped down and grabbed her laptop. She preferred not wearing any clothes during chats because it excited her. She clicked on the submissive chat room and began.
Her first night, Rachael did not find anything she really clicked with. She did talk to a few Doms, but they ultimately didn't match.
One Dom tried talking to her in one word sentences like 'power' and 'control' and 'addicted'. It confused her. She needed more words.
She told him multiple times that she didn't think they would work well together, but he kept going. She thought back to the users comment.
Be upfront
.
She told him she'd like to stop, and he obliged.
I can do this
, Rachael thought to herself.
Rachael felt better after this. She may not have found a good match, but she was able to ask to stop when it wasn't a good match. It was a step up for her.
The second Dom she really liked, but he was very interested in pee play and she was not. She was his pee slut for the night and she managed to get him off. He also managed to get her off, but she wasn't sure it was a good fit for more long-term arrangement.
She mainly got off because he would 'bind' her to keep her from moving. He offered to only do pee play every once in a while, but she didn't really care for it. And she could tell he was very into it. Ultimately, she figured there would be nothing that lasted long out of that.
Rachael sighed as she went to bed.
It wasn't a
bad
night. She had a good time with the second Dom. But she still didn't know what she wanted.
The next night the girls were still out of town, so Rachael got on the chat room again. This Dom also gave her a good night. He was interested in the animal aspect, though. He would compare her to animals, especially a cow when he had her pull her nipples.
Rachael had a good time and was glad she experienced it, but it also wasn't her cup of tea. She was starting to wonder if there was a Dom interested in what she was interested in. She figured there had to be somewhere, but she just didn't know how to find him.
**********
SJ and June came back for the week and Rachael went back to just pleasuring herself. She used her fingers and her vibe, and she was really getting rougher with herself.
One night she managed to get her vibe up her ass and fuck herself with it without it hurting much. She was ecstatic! She had played with her ass before, but it always had been slightly painful.
She must have been getting used to it, though, because it felt amazing. She was so proud of herself and had to keep herself from smiling all day for fear someone ask about her good mood. She could probably make something up, but she wanted to keep this small victory to herself.
Rachael cherished the small battle. She felt like things were looking up.
**********
Rachael was looking forward to this weekend. June would be gone again and SJ would be at her boyfriend's place. Starting Saturday, she would have the apartment to herself again and could get on the chat room without fear of her paper-thin walls.
Unfortunately for Rachael, Saturday was the day Devin decided to tell SJ he wanted to 'take a break'. Rachael spent the whole weekend consoling SJ, which Rachael was horrible at.
Rachael kept suggesting things to do that she forgot were things that Devin and SJ did all the time, such as playing Rockband. She also suggested reading a book, but forgot that all SJ read were romance novels.
By Sunday night, Rachael was exhausted. She finally consoled SJ with ice cream and Netflix, though SJ still moped about. Rachael didn't blame her, but it put a damper on her weekend plans.
Even worse, this was an extended weekend for them both. They had Monday and Tuesday off work too. Rachael and SJ were able to do crafts to keep SJ occupied, but by Monday night Rachael decided that she needed to do something for herself.
She went to bed 'early', knowing that SJ would follow suit. Then, when she believed SJ was asleep, Rachael stripped down and logged on the submissive chatroom again.
Rachael wrote while she waited to see if a Dom was interested in playing. She had started writing a story about one of her daydreams when a message appeared.
Dom: Hello. I see you are new to Lit. Would you be interested in a Dom exploring your limits and pleasures with you?
Rachael shivered. That's exactly what she wanted.
Rachael: Yes, Sir.
Dom: Tell me, what are your past experiences?
Rachael: I have only done online play with other Doms, Sir.
D: I see. anything interesting?
R: I had a few good experiences, but we ultimately didn't match, Sir.
D: I see. Would you be interested in chatting? I like talking you through how I want you to be pleasured.
Rachael shivered again. Instructions? She loved that.
R: Yes, Sir. I'd be very interested.
D: Would you be interested in moving to a different chat? One where we could eventually move to a voice call?
Rachael took a breath. Yes, she could do this.
R: I have an email to do that, Sir, but voice calls make me nervous.
D: But you can use the nervousness to heighten your arousal.
Rachael nodded her head to herself.
