The Balancing Game Ch 02

**********

Author's Note:

Hey all. This is the second story – hope it's okay. (Sorry for the long Authors Note)

This may not seem like it belongs in the BDSM category from the scenes (FYI, no explicit sex scenes – just touchy feely), but I kept it in here because of how Rachael reacted/what she wanted (and because it's how I want the rest of the series to be).

In this story, Rachael tries an online dating app and has her first date. It's not super exciting and it's fairly vanilla, but it's an important part in where I want this narrative to go, so please hang on.

I'm still writing about some personal experiences (names and other identifiable info changed), so it's not as exciting as other stories might be.

I've had a lot of people in my life tell me what I should want, and now I'm working through it myself by writing. Just like Rachael, I try to balance what I want with my anxieties and with what I've been told I want.

I'm also learning to balance my personal (friends/family), personal (lover), and professional lives. It's a balancing game because I always want everyone to be happy, but I want to be happy too. And I don't know how to do that yet.

I'm debating on whether or not to turn this story into my daydream or keep following my life (pending interesting things actually happening to me). I know it may not be as interesting if it's real life, but I'm just not sure which to do.

I will start writing my daydreams as other stories, but if you're still interested in this story, comment on what you think. I hate making these decisions by myself. I'm not put off if the ratings are low on this story (because my life's not a daydream), but I also want to know how my readers want it resolved.

Once again, please only polite or constructive comments. I'm new to writing and if you read my story you'll notice I'm pretty new to relationships in general. I'm just working it out as best I can.

I'm trying to find balance.

Thanks,

shy_daydreamer

**********

Rachael was trying to act casual, but it was difficult. She wanted to start her dating profile, but she needed a good picture. Unfortunately, June had a late shift today.

June would know something was up if Rachael walked out dressed nicer than normal. Rachael was sure she'd tell June eventually, but she didn't want to deal with June and her lecturing before she even started.

"Anyway, you're still playing on Friday, right?" June looked at Rachael expectantly, but Rachael was daydreaming.

"Huh?"

"D&D. Dungeons and Dragons. You know, that game we normally play every Friday? You can still come, right?" June looked a bit agitated at Rachael.

"Uh, yeah. Derrick's place, right?"

"Do we ever play anywhere else? I swear, you're a bit off today. Everything okay?" June looked concerned.

"Yeah. I mean, still a bit stressed about the job thing. I mean, I have the interview though. I told you about that, right?" June gave a blank stare at Rachael. "Oh, um, they have a child with autism who needs an aid. It's a step in the right direction for me."

June smiled. "Really? That's fantastic! When's the interview?"

"Erm...tomorrow." Rachael brushed her hair behind her ear and looked down at the floor.

"Wait. When were you offered this interview and why didn't I know about it?!" June was getting a little testy. Rachael and June shared almost everything. Rachael didn't mean to exclude her, she just forgot with how bad she was feeling last week.

"I thought I told you? I was offered an interview last week. I know I told SJ, guess I just wasn't paying attention." Rachael could feel June's eyes boring into her.

June gave a forced sigh. "I'll forgive you this time, but I'm the first one who gets to know if you got the job!"

Rachael looked up and smiled. "Fair."

June looked at her watch. "Shit. I need to get to work. I'll be back later tonight, but I think Derrick and I have dinner plans. And I think SJ and Devin have dinner plans too. You okay by yourself?"

Rachael smiled at June. "Yeah. I'll be fine. I've got my dogs and Netflix."

"Awesome. See you later!" June quickly rushed out the door. She had a problem with being late. Hopefully Rachael didn't cause her to be later.

Rachael shrugged it off and went to her room to find some cute clothes for the picture on the dating app. She had gone shopping a few weeks ago for interview clothing (that she will actually be able to use tomorrow) and happened across a cute top.

It was a button up, long-sleeved, light blue shirt with a plaid pattern. She slipped on a white tank top first and left the plaid top unbuttoned.

Cute, but not over the top.

Rachael snapped the picture.

Then, Rachael found a comfy spot on the couch and began making her profile.

First Name:

Rachael

Gender:

Female

Age:

22

Intent: -

Rachael thought about this for a minute. Did she want casual dating or long term? She knew what June wanted for her – long term. Rachael supposed she did want long term. She'd never really dated before, but she didn't just want a short hookup either, especially if she got attached.

Intent:

Looking for a relationship

For:

Long Term

Height:

6'0"

Smoker:

No

I am seeking a:

Man

Do you drink?

Socially

Do you do drugs?

No

Interests: -

Rachael hesitated. She was a

total

nerd. She was worried that it would put guys off of her. But then again, she wasn't going to find a guy for her if she lied either.

It may take longer to find someone, but honesty will work better

, Rachael thought to herself.

Interests:

Writing, Art, Dungeons and Dragons, Superheroes

About Me:

I'm a very shy, nerdy girl. I'm awkward in new/uncomfortable situations, but I like to push my limits. I like to get out of my comfort zone. I love art, animals, and various nerdy things.

Rachael spent the rest of the night navigating the site. She was surprised that a half dozen people

actually

messaged her. She responded to all of them, thinking it would be impolite not to.

Rachael soon discovered that viewing their profile before responding was probably a better option, as she had some unwanted attention from a few guys she was most definitely

not

interested in.

It's not that she was picky in terms of looks. She just preferred an intellectual, nerdy guy. Plus, she didn't care for country boys, which is what half of the guys on here seemed to be.

Sighing, Rachael closed the app just before June got home. June knew she was thinking about online dating, but it hadn't been mentioned in over 6 months. Rachael loved June, but she didn't want to hear the 'safety' talk.

Let's see what tomorrow brings

, she thought to herself.

**********

Rachael woke up the next day and was surprised to find several messages on the dating app. She wasn't used to people being interested in her. She always worried that something was wrong with her. Before now, anyway.

Rachael reluctantly closed the app and got dressed for her interview. She had a nice blue and white top with black dress pants and black flats. She walked to the bathroom and straightened her hair. It was always a mess in the morning, going whichever direction it chose.

She thought about putting on makeup, but then she dismissed the idea. She didn't like makeup and she didn't want that expectation every day. She needed to be herself. Or as much as she could be in a business casual environment.

"Alright, let me see!" SJ was in the doorway, ready to give Rachael a clothing check. Rachael didn't like dressing up much, so she relied on SJ to tell her if she looked good or not. Rachael stepped out for SJ to see.

SJ motioned with her fingers to turn around and Rachael obliged. "What do you think?"

"It looks great." SJ approved. "You have a little stray hair in the back though." Rachael went to the bathroom to fix it.

"Better?"

"Much. You're going to rock that interview." Rachael smiled at the compliment.

"Hopefully they like me as much as y'all think they will."

"You'll do great."

Rachael smiled and took a deep breath. "Alright. Well, here I go. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck!"

Rachael walked out the door to her car and her phone buzzed.

June: Good luck! You'll do amazing!

Rachael smiled. She had amazing roommates.

Rachael went to the interview and felt very relaxed once she was there. Rachael may feel submissive and timid in her personal life, but she was much less so professionally. It was like there was some sort of divide in her brain. She couldn't explain it.

As the interview wrapped up, Rachael felt very confident in herself. She initially met with the child with autism. He was 15 and high functioning. He just needed help staying on track and needed help coping if his senses got overloaded.

Rachael could identify with some of that. When her anxiety got too bad at home, she always needed help calming down. She never had that problem at school because of that divide in her brain, but she knew it sucked.

After meeting Braxton (the child) and his mother, Rachael met with several of the faculty and had lively conversations with each of them. At the very end of the process, Rachael finally talked to some of the faculty about her qualifications.

The interviewer said that he would get back to her in a few days, but she was a promising candidate. In the end, Rachael felt very good about the interview.

As Rachael was driving home, she started thinking about the dating app. She managed to keep it out of her mind all morning, but she really wanted to get on it now. She wanted to continue this good string of luck!

When Rachael entered the door, she noticed a message from SJ.

Hey. I didn't want to text you in case you forgot to turn your phone off, but I'm going to be with Devin the rest of the night. Hope the interview went well!

Rachael smiled. She quickly opened her phone to text both girls.

Hey guys! I feel really good about the interview. I'll talk to y'all about it later tonight!

That should work

, Rachael thought.

This way I have time to get on the app.

Rachael opened the app and began searching through the profiles. She saw one she was particularly interested in. His name was Carson.

He was about her height and was very attractive. His profile showed that he was also a nerd, and he was finishing up university in her town. And he liked all music except country. Perfect.

Rachael noticed that he also sent her a message. She opened it.

Carson: Hello. I wanted to say that I viewed your profile and I think that you are adorable. I'm a bit awkward sometimes too, and I'm okay with the fact that you're shy. I think it's cute. :)

Rachael smiled. He seemed nice. She was hoping not too nice, but this was a good first step. She didn't know what to say. But her profile said she was awkward, so hopefully he'd help her past that.

Rachael: Hi. Thank you. :) Can I say that I like the fact that you put that bit about country music on your profile? I don't care much for it either. Haha.

Carson: Well I will listen to some of it, but there's something about it I just don't like. Lol

Rachael: It's too twang-y for me. I don't like the sound of it.

C: That's it! Oh my god, finally someone who understands!

R: Haha.

Rachael smiled. She felt the same way. Maybe this one will go somewhere. But will he take control?

The first test will have to be the conversation,

Rachael thought,

I'm not good at starting new topics and I'm not always good at continuing them. We'll see if I am able to hold a long conversation with him.

Carson: So, which superhero is your favorite?

Rachael: The Hulk, for sure.

C: Oh yeah? Why is that?

R: Well, he's sort of a hero and a villain wrapped up in one. He wants to be good, but sometimes he's not in control of it. I just like the fact that he's not your stereotypical hero, I guess. Who's your favorite?

C: Interesting. I'm not sure that I have a favorite. I do enjoy Marvel comics/movies though. Have you seen them all?

R: I've seen most of them. I haven't seen the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie and I haven't seen the Thor movies yet.

C: You haven't seen Thor? Why not?

R: Oh, I'm not sure. I made my way through the Avengers and he was the last. I just haven't gotten there yet.

C: Ok. Well we should try and fix that. :)

Rachael's heart pounded. He wanted to meet her? Like, in person?

R: I don't know. I'm really shy about meeting new people. It makes me really nervous.

C: Well, I do really want to meet you. But we can wait for that. What sorts of games do you play with your friends?

Rachael took a second to calm her racing heart.

He's willing to wait,

she thought.

That's a good sign.

R: I normally play Dungeons and Dragons. It's nerdy, I know.

C: That's awesome!

R: Haha. I'm glad you think so.

C: One of my favorite stories is actually based off of it. It's called

The Dark Elf Trilogy.

Ever heard of it?

R: No, I haven't. But it sounds like something I would like!

C: You should read it sometime. I could lend you the books.

Rachael's heart sped up again. He was still trying to see her. That made Rachael really nervous. She was always taught to be cautious about people on the internet, and this was no exception. She didn't know how to respond, so she just stared at the screen for a while.

C: So, what sort of dogs do you have?

Rachael smiled. A change in subject. She could do that.

R: I have two terrier mixes. One is 2 years and 8 pounds, the other is 4 years and 15 pounds. The small one rules the house though. Haha.

C: Lol. That's hilarious.

R: Yeah, it's pretty funny to watch sometimes.

C: Can I just say that I really want to meet you? :)

Rachael's heart picked back up again.

C: I know you don't want to meet right now, and that's fine. I just wanted you to know that I think you are amazing and I want to see you and get to know you better. :)

R: I'm sorry, I'm just really awkward and nervous.

C: That's okay. :) I just wanted to let you know.

Rachael took a deep breath.

Maybe...

R: If we met, what would we do?

C: Well, I would take you out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Then we would go on a walk and talk and get to know each other better. Then we would sit on the big hill just outside of town and watch the sunset.

Rachael thought on it. That didn't sound so bad. And she did

really

want to meet him.

R: What if I'm so anxious that I'm not sure I could eat? Would you be willing to just do the walk?

C: We could do whatever you're comfortable with. :)

R: I think that would be nice. :) And I really want to meet you too.

C: Would you let me hold your hand?

R: If you wanted to, yeah.

C: I would very much like to. How soon do you want to meet?

Rachael thought on it. The only day this week that both June and SJ worked was tomorrow. Was that too soon? Could she handle it?

R: I mean, would tomorrow be okay?

C: Tomorrow would be perfect. :)

R: Can I get your number? It might be easier than this app.

C: Sure. My number is ***-***-****

R: Thanks. :)

Rachael and Carson talked the rest of the day until SJ and June came home.

R: Hey. So, my roommates are back and I really don't want to tell them about you yet. They just get really worried about anything online...

C: Don't worry about it. I understand. :) Me and a friend are getting ready to go grab pizza anyway. Can I text you tomorrow?

R: Most definitely. :)

Rachael was on a high the rest of the night. She had a fantastic day and she was actually going on a date tomorrow. Her

first

date! She could barely contain her excitement.

SJ and June got home around the same time and Rachael went over what happened today during the interview. She left Carson out of it for now.

"That's awesome!" June gushed.

"Yeah." SJ followed, "I'm glad it went so well!"

The three girls spent the rest of the night watching movies on Netflix, but Rachael was distracted. She really wanted to meet Carson. Every time she thought about it, she thought about how long it was until tomorrow night.

After a few movies, Rachael headed to bed. Right as she was laying down, her phone buzzed.

Carson: I hope this is okay and your roommates aren't around, but I just had to say goodnight. :)

Rachael smiled. He was so sweet. No one had ever treated her this way. She felt amazing!

Rachael: It's fine. Thank you for the text. Goodnight. See you tomorrow. :)

Rachael put her phone down and tried to drift off to sleep, but she just kept thinking about the date and how it would go. Her mind thought of 1,000 different outcomes, both good and bad. She just wanted it to be here already! Eventually, Rachael drifted off to sleep.

**********

Rachael woke up the next morning and was immediately excited as she thought about her day. She turned to shut the alarm on her phone off and noticed a message from Carson.

Carson: Good morning beautiful. I can't wait for tonight. :)

Rachael blushed. No one had ever told her she was beautiful outside of her parents. She smiled, thinking about how sweet he was.

Rachael: Good morning. I can't wait either. :) How has your morning been?

Rachael began getting ready for the day, but Carson responded fairly quickly.

Carson: Unfortunately, it hasn't been that great. My car broke down last night and I've been trying to get it working again.

Rachael: I'm sorry. :/

C: It's okay, baby. I'll figure it out. I want to see you. :)

Rachael blushed again. She had never had a pet name before. This was all so new and exciting. She didn't know how to respond, but after a few minutes, Carson texted back

C: How did you sleep?

R: Honestly, not super well. I'm nervous about meeting you, but also excited!

C: Aw, baby. I'm excited too. :)

Rachael thought about the date tonight, then realized she had one question that might calm her nerves a bit.

R: So, I've been thinking about what to wear tonight. I don't normally dress up a lot, especially if we're walking. Is that okay? Because I want to look good for you, but I'd feel better in sport shorts and a tank top.

C: Whatever makes you feel comfortable baby. :) This is about you. I want you to feel good when you meet me with as little anxiety as possible.

R: Thanks. :)

C: And NO makeup.

R: Haha. Good. I hate makeup anyway. :)

C: Can I ask you something?

R: Sure. Anything.

C: I would really like it if you used a pet name with me.

Rachael thought about it. What does she call him? What do girls call their boyfriends?

R: What pet names do you like?

C: Darling, baby, anything like that. Except honey. Only my aunt calls me that.

R: Okay, baby. :)

Rachael felt weird. She wanted to type back 'Okay, Sir'. It felt better, more natural. 'Baby' was okay, but it didn't have the natural flow to it.