The Awaening of Angel

10 Aug 10:30 PM

Circe

Alexandra and I talked like old girlfriends for hours about my time at Tillman's. She was genuinely relieved that he had opened up on some things but had no clue about the soil and skulls in the room at the Carriage House.

"You know that you must be special to him don't you Miss?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well for one he has shared more things with you than he has all the rest of us put together. On top of that he took you into his private room. None of us have ever even been allowed close and we had no idea what was in there. But one of the biggest indicators is that Roxie likes you. She has this sense of who Tillman deems enemies and friends. She is nice with all of us but keeps her distance but with you it seems she has let you in. You're part of the team."

"You mean your military team? I don't understand."

"No Miss. The team of Roxie and Tillman. Roxie let you in. Either she decided you were good for Tillman or she sensed that Tillman had let you in. My guess it's both."

"But she's just a dog..."

"That may be, but she is one amazing dog with incredible abilities. And I've only ever seen her welcome in one other person like that."

"Who is that?"

"Was Miss, was. It was Tillman's fiancée."

"He hasn't ever gotten over her has he?"

"I'm not sure, but I do know he's never forgiven himself. I think that's the main thing that troubles him though. I'm just praying Miss that you will be the one that helps him let her go and let go of his guilt."

"I don't know Alexandra. I hope so. But he's a very complex man. He's shown me things about myself I never knew and I don't know how he does it. There is something that's bothering me though."

"What's that Miss?"

"Well there have been a few things that Tillman did in the dungeon that caused me a fair amount of pain."

I then went on to describe the hundreds of clamps, how he flicked them off with a whip, and then being tied up and zapped with the cattle prod.

"What concerns me is that there were parts of the pain that I liked. Is that weird? Is there something wrong with me? Am I a deviant?"

Alexandra laughed and put her hand on my knee.

"No you aren't a deviant Miss, no more than the rest of humanity anyway. We each have our little quirks. There are different kinds and levels of pain and most people that are into pain would never consider having someone cut their arm off. Enjoying that sort of pain is a genuine mental illness. The sort of pain you are talking about is a channel to heightened sensations and release of endorphins."

"But isn't it still weird?"

"We have been together for quite some time Miss, so I feel comfortable asking you to do something so that I can illustrate my point. Pull one of your breasts out."

It seemed like a bizarre request but I did as she said and no sooner than I'd done that she reached over and pinched my nipple pretty hard.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Yes I know it did Miss. But describe how it felt."

"Well, there was like a sharp electrical jolt that radiated out and dissipated as it spread."

"Yes, and what replaced the jolt?"

"It's hard to describe, it was like a wave rippling back after hitting something."

"Did it feel bad or good Miss?"

"I'd say it was a good feeling."

"Well that's what happens, when the pain stops it's replaced by a good feeling. Some people would say it's endorphins but those are released during extended pain, and of course people seek the endorphin rush as well. You should remember that without pain we wouldn't know pleasure since we wouldn't have anything to compare it to. Plus there's another reason and it has to do with our connections to other human beings. When the pain comes from someone we are emotionally invested in, it has an effect on our brains. I'm not sure which part, the medulla oblongata I think. But in any case we gain pleasure that this other person we are attracted to is administering the pain. We like the feeling, and we like that they like the feeling of giving out the sensations."

"I'm not following that bit about 'we like it that they like it'."

"Think of it this way Miss. Do you like it when you undress in front of a guy and he gets a raging hard-on? Do you like it when you lightly scratch his balls and he goes all crazy and loses himself in the moment?"

"Yes, of course."

"So you like it that he likes what you do?"

"Yes."

"Well the pain thing is the same. You take the pain, he gets pleasure from your pain (knowing it's not debilitating or permanently damaging) and you get pleasure from his pleasure. Follow me Miss?"

"Yes, I think so. It's like giving someone a present and the good feeling you get from making them feel good."

"You've got it. And the whole endorphin and rebound thing. So no you aren't weird or a deviant. You're just a normal human being that likes getting and giving pleasure. Some people paint to give others joy while some play concert pianos. And some work in soup kitchens. Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yes I do Alexandra. And it makes sense. It just seems so shameful, like it needs to be hidden."

"Of course it does Miss. Society is all about conformity because different is dangerous. It's an animal instinct. Any animal that appears different or behaves different might be dangerous because it's a different species. On an animal kingdom basis it makes sense. But on a homo sapiens level there is so much diversity that in many cases there is no norm. People that think they are deviant don't realize that there are tens of thousands of others with the same behavior. Maybe the person in the next cubicle is just like you. Maybe the whole office. But there are many people who haven't thought beyond their vanilla world and anything outside of that scares them to death, to which they react defensively and lash out. Truthfully it's their loss. In the meantime we keep things to ourselves, and if we are lucky, we stumble across a kindred soul who shares our 'interests'."

"The way you talk it sounds like you have 'interests', not that I'm prying."

"Oh Miss. I don't mind telling you. My passion is in being a Dominatrix. I've given it lots of thought and I think it's a reaction to what happened to me in my youth. At first there was anger in how I treated my Subs. Then I grew beyond that. I decided that those evil men from long ago were still controlling me even though they were long dead. And I decided that they weren't going to do that anymore. So I learned to love my Subs and give them pleasure, to make up for the abuse I was given. Those evil men intended it all for bad and I've turned it into good. Plus my military service has also undone what they did, many times over."

"What happened to those men that did that to you and your family?"

"Tillman doesn't talk about it Miss, but I have talked to others who were on his teams then. Some of them were killed but they were the lucky ones. The others, the ringleaders, well Tillman got a hold of them and mentally destroyed them. Some went insane and killed themselves and others are just permanently incapacitated. They live in a world of mental torment where they still have awareness of who they are but are trapped in their own heads. I've seen one or two bad guys after he's finished with them and it's truly frightening what he can do. And that's what's so amazing about him, he has such capacity for destruction and an equal capacity for compassion. But he seemed to tilt more towards the dark direction after his fiancée was murdered."

"I know you told me a little about his fiancée but I'm fuzzy on the details. Terrorists right?"

"Yes Miss. It was horrible and he never talks about it and it's almost like it never happened. There is a particular terrorist group that has really been damaged by our counter-terrorist operations and Tillman was a key leader in many of those missions. An idiot senior officer in the Pentagon decided he wanted some time in the spotlight and divulged to the media the results of one of the operations and Tillman's role as the leader. As a consequence the terrorists were able to identify the locations of some of the team members and their families. Tillman's fiancée was one of those. While he was away on a mission they kidnapped and tortured her. Eventually they strangled her, dumped the body and taped the whole thing and put it on the internet. He actually saw a highly censored clip of the video while he was sitting in the airport on the way home. Her name was Victoria and such a wonderful and beautiful woman and she was perfect for Tillman. The things those animals did to her were unspeakable and she endured so much before she died. By all accounts she never screamed in any of the tapes and never begged for her life."

Alexandra was full on crying now and so was I, but it was important to me to know the history about this man that I loved more and more each day.

"So were the terrorists ever caught?"

"Some of them were. Well killed anyway. They never made it to jail or anything like that. But we're pretty sure there's a cell of them still operating in this country. In fact, Tillman's last mission was an overseas one trying to gather some intelligence on the group and their whereabouts. Getting these animals has become his main mission in life and I don't know what will happen to him once he's wiped them out. He might start getting better or he might descend into a darker place of no return. But all of us have high hopes that you will be his savior. We all think he really cares about you but he just doesn't seem to be getting over the hump. We don't know whether it's getting over Victoria, forgiving himself, or just admitting how much he cares about you. Whatever it is we really hope and pray it happens soon so that he can heal."

"Can we change tracks here for a bit Alexandra?"

"Yes of course Miss."

"I realized I don't even know your full name, or even if Alexandra is your real first name."

She laughed lightly. "Yes it's my real first name. I'm Alexandra Belladonna Des Champs. Tillman calls me Champ. My parents called me Belle."

"Belle. I like that. It means beautiful in French right? It fits. Not only are you beautiful on the outside you are also beautiful on the inside, which is much more important. You have been such a help to me and you have given me so much. You've listened to me when I needed to talk and been patient when I was being a bitch. I love you for that and I don't think I could have gotten this far without your help."

"Thank you Miss. I have to say that you've also helped me."

"Really? How have I helped you? I've done nothing."

"That's not true Miss. You have shown me strength and endurance. And I see what it means to put yourself aside for the one you love. I don't know that I could have laid face down in a puddle of my own urine. But you did, just because you put Tillman first. And I'm convinced that it's not just because you love him. I think it's also because you want to help him and on some level you knew that laying in your pee was going to help him somehow."

"I'm touched Alexandra. Really I am. I never thought of it in those terms but I have to admit laying in my own pee wasn't very pleasant but it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. But based on your earlier discourse I would never think less of someone who liked it."

We both laughed at that for a few moments.

"You are a quick study Miss."

"Well you have to be with Tillman or he hits you with a riding crop!"

With that we both went into hysterical laughter to the point that we both had tears rolling down our cheeks. Eventually we were hugging and laughing and it was getting late.

"On a serious note Alexandra I have a favor to ask."

"Yes Miss? Anything for you."

"Well...based on what you said about people and their 'interests'..."

"Please Miss..."

"Um, it's been a long time since I've had any sort of close human contact and I just need to be near someone. Yes there have been moments with Tillman but they were spent mostly being concerned about Tillman. Sooo...could we sleep together tonight? Not sexually. I just need human skin to skin contact and we have so much in common."

But before we do that, assuming that you agree, I would like to experience you as a Dominatrix, if that's okay? I've had so many new experiences and your revelation has captured my interest."

"Well Miss, I can say that Tillman relaxed many of the restrictions regarding our interaction and I think your request would fall in the accepted category. But you must understand it will not be the same experience as what one of my Subs would feel. You and I are friends and that changes the dynamic between Dom and Sub to some degree."

"But aren't there married couples that do the same sort of thing? They already have a close relationship, even more so than friends."

"Yes they do Miss, but there are many different flavors of Dom Sub relationships and what I do doesn't fall into the same type as what a married couple might be doing. My Subs are mostly men but they all share one thing in common. They are very powerful, confident, and successful people in their chosen avocations, but each has a desire to have a very powerful woman in control of them from time to time. And in order to do that I have to maintain a persona that matches their mental image of a woman who could dominate them. If they met me outside of the persona then the image would be destroyed. They feel that there is a void in their lives and I can fill it. They are all decent people and I love each one of them very much and it gives me such joy to make them happy. It's such a wonderful feeling."

"I understand Alexandra and I know it won't be the same experience but nonetheless I would be indebted to you if you would bring me into your world for a while."

"Okay Miss, but in some ways this needs to be like the contract you have with Tillman but I do insist on a safe-word. If at any time you become uncomfortable, want to stop, or feel that there is a line that you don't want to cross, then I insist that you use the safe-word. Are we agreed?"

"Yes Alexandra, we are. And I choose 'S'More' as my safe-word."

"That's a strange choice Miss. May I ask why you chose that?"

I giggled a bit and fluttered my eyes at her.

"It's because I'm expecting to be like melted chocolate once you are done with me!"

Alexandra laughed but there was a little evil undertone to her voice coupled with a perceptible huskiness.

"I guess me will see Miss. It will take me about half an hour to get ready. You will go to your room and stand facing the closet door. Once I come in do not turn around until I tell you to and you must follow all my instructions, unless you invoke the safe-word. Now go!"

Obediently I went and stood facing my closet door. I wasn't expecting anything sexual, at least not overt sex. I had experimented with girls in college but it just wasn't my thing. Not that I didn't find it exciting and certainly there were good things about it. It's just that I like a man, a strong and confident man. Someone to pull my hair and breathe heavily between my shoulder blades while he reaches around with his other hand and roughly grabs and squeezes a tit. Yessir, that's my cup of man and I like it scalding hot.

True to her word, about thirty minutes later I heard the door to the room open.

"I am Mistress Alette. You will refer to me only as 'Mistress' until such time as you have earned the right to call me Mistress Alette. You will stand still and not move. I need to examine my new property."

I felt a leather gloved hand trace briefly over my neck and then reach into the collar of my shirt. Then in one swift motion my shirt was ripped from top to bottom and torn off of me. Alexandra was a not a weak woman, but I think I've mentioned that before. My pants, bra, and panties also met their demise in the same fashion. Thankfully none of them were favorites. There I stood, buck naked and facing the closet door. Not that I hadn't been naked in front of Alexandra before, but this felt different. Maybe it was just the circumstances or maybe the anticipation. In any case I shivered a little and my skin broke out in goose pimples. I felt a leather tab of some sort trace the outline of my body and lightly flick my butt cheeks.

"I guess you will do for now. Turn around."

The sight that met my eyes when I turned was breathtaking. Alexandra had truly transformed into Mistress Alette. Thigh-high stiletto boots, elbow length leather gloves, a leather corset covered in horizontal straps and buckles, and a studded choker, all in black. Also in black were lipstick, shading in cheeks, eye shadow, and sharpened eyebrows. Her hair was all teased out and up and had little black crystals woven into it. She held what looked like a twisted vine stick, about three feet long, with a leather strap on the end. Her stance said she was in charge and everyone had better acknowledge the fact.

"On your knees and kiss my boots!"

I quickly did as I was told and felt the vine stick tapping on my ass and then tracing up my spine.

"Look up at me."

The perspective was awe inspiring and made me feel little and vulnerable. But I also felt safe. That was a strange dichotomy. The hours progressed and I have to say it was mostly sensual even though there were moments of pain and humiliation. The vine stick was the main player in this production, caressing when I did well and reprimanding when I didn't.

Mistress Alette didn't have me do anything that even came close to a safe-word boundary, it was just the scenes being played out that created a growing eroticism. The obedience she commanded and the attached rewards created a desire in me to please her even more. I really got into the role, so much so that I truly became submissive. I embraced it to the point that I could see myself begging to just lay at her feet for the rest of my life. My arousal and sense of attachment grew to a breaking point.

"You have pleased me tonight and so you shall receive a reward."

She lowered the vine stick at an angle to where one end touched the floor while she held the other.

"You may rub against Little Mistress until you climax but you must not touch my person or the reward will be withdrawn."

I was so into this that I just squatted down and moved forward to straddle the vine stick with my pussy which was now dripping wet. The surface of the vine was glass smooth like it had been polished with many years of use which made me even hornier thinking of all the other Subs who might have done the same thing. Within moments my wetness was actively running down the vine stick and my orgasm rapidly built.

"You will not make a sound as you orgasm or the reward will be withdrawn."

If you've never had to do that then you don't know how hard it is, especially if you are really into the sex. And it makes it even harder to do when you are told not to, which adds to the excitement which makes it even harder to be quiet.

The orgasm built and I pressed the vine harder against my clit and ground against it faster and faster. Hunger built and my breathing came in labored gasps and then wave after orgasmic wave rolled over me. My muscles shook and quivered as I wrapped myself around the vine stick as the orgasm completed and abated, yet I made no sound. It was pure bliss.

"You have done well and I am pleased. But Little Mistress is all wet and you must clean her up."

She lifted the vine stick in front of my face and I willingly licked it clean of my juices. I was so happy.

"You may now get in your bed."

I climbed under the covers as Mistress Alette gave me a small smile and left the room.

About twenty minutes later a naked Alexandra slid into bed next to me.

"Can I ask you a question Alexandra?"

She nodded.

"Why a vine stick?"