8 Aug 9:40 PM
(Four hours prior to Tillman's crisis at the end of Chapter 9)
Circe
I had been sitting on the back porch and just chatting with Alexandra like we'd been friends for ages. Of course the two bottles of wine had also helped the conversation. Eventually we meandered to Tillman.
"Alexandra, can you tell me anything about Tillman? It seems like he knows all sorts of things about me but I know very little about him. Can you tell me about how you came to know him? I don't want you to get in trouble or anything though."
She got a far off look in her eyes and I saw the beginnings of tears. Alexandra paused for a moment like she was choosing her words carefully.
"I really like you Miss and I know that you will keep this to yourself as much as you can, knowing what Tillman's talents are. What I'm going to tell you I've never told anyone else but I very much want to tell you."
"Firstly you need to know that I work for Tillman, both in a civilian role and a military one but I knew him long before I ever went in the military. The short story is that Tillman and one of his teams saved my life and that of my two sisters. Civil war was raging in my home country and some rebels came to our house one night. My father tried to protect us and our mother but the rebels overpowered him. The tied him to a chair and made him watch as they brutally raped my mother for days. Eventually she died from the abuse and then they gouged out his eyes. The leader would not let the men touch me and my sisters but I didn't know why."
"We were blindfolded and put in a truck which traveled for a few days. We stopped one night and were taken into a house and our blindfolds removed. An older woman was there and she took us with her and told us everything was going to be alright. But it wasn't. She ran a whorehouse and we had been sold into the sex trade by the rebels."
"It was a nightmare Miss, and it went on for weeks but me and my sisters did what we had to in order to survive. Then very late one night, when all the customers were passed out, there were flashes of light, and bangs, and soldiers with night vision goggles clearing the rooms. They told all the girls they were friends and they were there to take us to safety. There were female soldiers with them and they took us to helicopters. On the way out of the whorehouse we saw many dead customers and the security men who guarded us."
"We were brought to the United States and Tillman arranged for everyone to have good homes and educations. When I turned eighteen I decided to join the military to try to pay back some of the great gift I'd been given. After a few years Tillman arranged to have me transferred to his special unit. But I can't tell you anymore about that side of things."
Honestly I was dumbfounded. This lithe, beautiful woman was a rape survivor and someone on a very special military team. I had experienced some of her personal strength previously and now it all made sense. "Please go on Alexandra. I'm just happy with whatever you are allowed to tell me."
"Yes of course Miss. In any case, Tillman saved my life, and not just that one time. It has been many times since on various missions. But I should also tell you this, but you must promise to never tell Tillman, even under torture."
"Alexandra, I will do my best but I'm not sure I can promise that. You know how capable he is. I can promise you that I would have to be in extreme pain before I said anything."
She paused for a moment and looked intently into my eyes as though she were trying to judge my determination to keep her secret. Then in a moment I could see that she had decided.
"Miss, I am in love with Tillman, and have been for years. Who wouldn't be after what he did? But he does not love me. Not in that way anyway. He sees me as a little sister, and if he ever found out my true feelings he would kick me off the team because he would say that my emotional involvement could cloud my judgment. But being on the team is the only way I can watch out for him, and I love him so much that I care more about his well-being than my own personal feelings."
A couple of tears formed and ran down her cheek which were quickly wiped away as she perceptibly forced her composure back in line.
"I should also tell you that I'm very worried about him. He never talks about it but at one time he was engaged to a really great woman but a terrorist group found out about her. While he was away on a mission they kidnapped and tortured her. Eventually the strangled her and dumped her body. They taped the whole thing and put it on the internet. He actually saw a highly censored clip of the video while he was sitting in the airport on the way home. He pretended like it didn't impact him but between that and the stuff we have done on missions..."
Her voice trailed off into tears and I joined right in. After a few minutes of hugging and crying she continued. I had questions I wanted to ask but didn't dare interrupt such an outpouring of feelings.
"He has nightmares Miss and gets very little sleep. And they are getting worse. He used to talk to all of us about things beyond the missions but now he is just so withdrawn. But you came along and it seemed to help. He looks at you in a way that he's never looked at me, or any other woman that I know of. Some of the guys have mentioned how he looks at you and they say it's the same look he had with his fiancΓ©. And I know what you are thinking Miss. You are thinking about my feelings and how that if I love him so much it must really hurt me for him to have feelings for you. And you are thinking you should step away. But you cannot do that. I want him to be happy because of all that he has done for my family and so many others. He deserves some happiness that I can't give him. But maybe you can. And if you are able to help him then I would be indebted to you and it would complete my happiness."
"But I'm so afraid that he's going to do something to himself. He has sunk to depths that the Team is just as worried as I am now but we are helpless to reach him."
At that last statement Alexandra began to cry and this time she didn't try to hold it back. I cried along with her. Such a sad story for a man who had done so much to help others. Then I got really scared. I had a premonition that something bad was about to happen.
"Alexandra?"
"Yes Miss?"
"I'm going to ask you to do something for me. I'm scared something bad is about to happen to Tillman and I want you to get in touch with him right now. Tell him that I'm freaking out about something and that he needs to get me to his place right away and that you think I'm in really bad shape. Will you do that for me? For Tillman?"