Although there are female dominatrix, and male subjugationists, by and large the practice is the opposite: Males are Dom; fems are sub. This treatise is written to reflect this norm; however, genders may be exchanged at will.
Domination is the ultimate seduction: The Dom is seducing the Sub into giving up his or her self-will. Domination is a persistent, controlled, thoughtful, thought-provoking, detailed seduction; it is not entered into without forethought; it is not successful without control.
Pain, humiliation, degradation are but a small part of the Dom/Sub relationship. A true Master not only loves His Slave, He is enamored of her; He is obsessed with every sensation His Slave feels. A true Slave thinks only of her Master; she trusts Him completely to not only see to her pleasure, but to know her secret desire to please. So, in the end, The Master is as much a Slave as the Slave is the Master.
A Dom/Sub relationship must base itself in Love. Without Love, there is no true Dom/Sub experience- merely a contest: weak vs. strong. With Love, the Master and Slave reach a complete understanding of each other, and the Domination and Subjugation experienced is profound. It is as beautifully simple as a mathematical equation: Love for a person equals thoughts of that person; these thoughts lead to arousal; arousal leads to awareness of sexual pleasure; awareness becomes sensation; and, finally, through sensation, the Master establishes control.
Sensation and Control are the very basis of Domination and Subjugation. So how does a Master gain control?
The Role of Pain
A true Master uses pain wisely. In and of itself, pain is- well, painful- and a true Master understands that the promise of pleasure makes a more compliant Slave than the experience of pain. So the Master uses pain to establish a touchstone, a contrast, to pleasure. Breasts and nipples are an excellent example: A Master will perhaps start out using pleasureful stimulation- soft light touches and tweaks to arouse the Slave to awareness. He will wait until the Slave begins to demonstrate signs of pleasure: quickened breathing, sighs, a slight arching of the back; and then He will reward that display of pleasure at His touch with a quick, sharp painful stimulus, such as a deep, cruel, endless pinch of the entire nipple. Once the Slave has reacted to the pain, the Master will reward the Slave with soothing pleasure again. It is this contrast, this never knowing what reaction will be drawn from her next, this merging of one sensation into another, which allows the Slave to begin to lose herself to her Master's whims.
Again, an example: A Slave must be punished for some minor disobedience- or, merely for the Master's pleasure. The Master tells the Slave, "Now I will punish you," and gives complete instructions to the Slave for her disposition. "I want you to bare your bottom and bend over the arm of the couch. You will stretch yourself out, keeping your hands up over your head, and your face up so that I may see your expression. You will count the 10 strokes aloud." The Slave has received no sensation yet, but is already completely overtaken by awareness of coming sensation. Using a slightly uncomfortable positioning, coupled with the instruction that the Slave count the strokes aloud, creates a tension in the Slave; she is already experiencing a swifter heartbeat, a nearly unbearable awakening of her skin, as adrenaline begins to race through her system. She assumes her position, and the Master CRACKS! the strap across the soft flesh of her upturned bottom cheeks. It is a blow, a sting, a flame, in quick succession, and the overwhelming sensation of "OW!" causes the Slave to nearly forget her instructions to count aloud. "One-" she gasps, and the strap is already coming down for the next stroke- CRACK! "Two! Oh!" CRACK! CRACK! "Three- four-" spills out in whimpers. CRACK! "Five!" is heard as a moan. The Master stops now; He wants to admire his work, and lays the cool palm of His hand over His Slave's heated bottom. He passes His hands all over her ass, soothing the burn in some places, and coincidentally reminding her of all the places He has yet to touch with the strap. He watches her struggle to control her breathing, to calm her heart, to hold herself still. He knows she is feeling only her ass right now, fiery hot, that the tingle of her clit is lost in the consuming pain of her bottom cheeks, so He slips a finger down between her thighs, and slides it along her now wet cleft. Now the Slave jerks her hips in response- the jolt of sensation at his touch on her clit awakens her awareness to the pleasure she is receiving. The Master steps back, and brings the strap down again- CRACK!
Used this way, pain becomes one of a Master's best tools to establish control. However- and here is where so very many promising Masters lose their promise- true Masters do not depend upon pain to give them control. True Domination depends upon much, much more.
- The Role of Praise -
A true Master understands the role of praise in the control of a slave. Consistent, loving praise will not only soothe the pain a Master inflicts, it will become the reason a Slave submits eagerly. No Master wishes to constantly fight against His Slave's natural will; that is not Domination, but war. A true Master uses praise to enslave his Slave; He reaches into one of the oldest of human needs- the need to belong.
Despite the seeming dichotomy, a Slave must be pampered and petted to give her Master her best. No Master wishes a broken, listless, "enduring" Slave, no- a true Master desires an eager, willing participant who will give Him pleasure in any way He desires, whenever He desires, exactly as He desires. This is accomplished through praise.
A Slave must know exactly how to please her Master. She is not to anticipate, nor is she to guess, what her Master wishes of her. His instructions to her must be clear and uncompromising; when she does something displeasing, she is punished. Conversely, when she does something pleasing, she is praised. It is only through praise that a Slave knows exactly how to please her Master; to punish without praise is senseless. Let's return to our earlier example to understand the role of praise.
CRACK! The strap has fallen for the tenth time, and the Slave's utterance, "Ten-" is a barely heard sound caught in her throat. Her face is streaked with tears she could not stop, and her lips are slack and trembling. Her bottom feels enormous, almost pounding with heat and pain, the skin a glowing red. The ache in her arms from holding her upper body off the couch is wearisome; her neck is tense with strain from holding her head up so the Master can see her face. In short, she is miserable. Once again the Master lays His palm upon the cheeks of her ass; His hand is cool against the fiery heat of her skin. "How nice," He whispers. "What a lovely shade of red, My Sweet. Your bottom should always be this way." And again His fingers slip down between her legs where they cup another heat, this one moist and damp. "Perfect," the Master breathes. "Nice and wet, just the way I want you." The slave now feels two physical sensations: The burning pain of her freshly spanked ass, and the hungry bloom of pleasure as His fingers fondle her clit and stroke along the cleft of her pussy. She cannot stop her hips from moving back against His hands and fingers, and He chuckles softly when He says, "Oh, you like that don't you? Good girl- I want you to like every thing I do to you tonight." Now she understands the emotions she is feeling: trepidation and anticipation; both heighten her sense of arousal, and she knows she will do anything to please the Master.
You see, praise is the only way a slave has of knowing she is pleasing her Master. He may- and will- use pain whether she deserves to be punished or not, sometimes simply for His own pleasure in watching her feel what He gives her. So punishment, or the lack thereof, is not indicative of her pleasing Him. Only through praise can she know that what she does, how she obeys, how she reacts and endures, is what her Master wants of her.
Novice Masters use much cruder techniques, such as tightly tied ropes and careless rape, thinking that bondage and overpowering are enough. That is because they are young in this journey and have no inkling of the power of more subtle technique. Bondage has its place in Domination- certainly- but merely as another training tool. A true Master is enthralled when His Slave can control herself through whatever He gives her.