The Accident
"...We found significant interactions between biological sex and sexual orientation, indicating that the significant effect of heightened size for the putamen cluster was driven by homosexual women..."
-Quote from scientific article on relationships between the hypothalamus, putamen and sexual orientation
A straight woman's medical procedure activates her Gaydar
I fiddled with the white hospital wristband on my left arm and absently read 'Alice Dupree' on it again. I'd had an accident. In my car.
I knew very little about brains until that auto accident drove a bit of sharp metal into my head. That sliver went kind of up the middle and it took me almost three months to recover. While I was lounging around in the hospital listening to doctors prognosticate about my chances, I'd had time on my hands so I did some research.
So, here is the thing.
My Hypothalamus was at risk. That's the brain portion that sits like an avocado pit just under the neocortex. You know, the neocortex is the main brain with all the wriggly parts where you think. The Hypothalamus is the bit that the main grey matter wraps around like a big blob...it's right in the middle of the head. Hardly surprising. The limbic system is nestled in there too. The limbic is where emotions reside. Anger. Fear. And of course, love. Not surprising that it also means the organs and its pieces there play a role in human sexuality too.
What I later figured out was that there is this structure surrounding the Hypothalamus that is called the Putamen. I never heard of it until the accident, but it turned out to be the exact spot where the edge of the piece of metal rested. In fact, it had pushed a bit of putamen physically up into my main brain. The doctors tell me that they had to go incredibly carefully to remove the sliver. Taking a couple hours to ease it free without wiggling it about too much and slicing up who knows what.
Afterward, they told me that post operative scans showed the putamen area of my brain had swollen from the injury. Irritated by the metallic shard probably. It had blown up and out to several times its original size.
They thought time might allow the swelling go down.
Cat scans and MRI images over the last few weeks have not shown it to reducing at all yet. It was almost a month and a half after the operation. The medicos all said that it might still un-swell, but you could hear the 'perhaps' in their voices when they did so. Beware the mighty 'might' word too, when it is coming from clergy or doctors.
Then last night, I was sleeping in my room in the hospital. I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I was horny.
Understand - this was a good thing. My clitoris had not gotten hard to my knowledge since the operation and I had been halfway dreading that the accident had somehow messed up the sexual portion of my head around the hypothalamus too, and that little chunk of automobile might have made me incapable of sexual feelings or something.
Suddenly, here it was though. Unmistakable. I had a little throbber going.
Back again with a vengeance, apparently.
I knew I was wet from some dream I had been having before I came awake. I could not recall what the dream was specifically, but it must have been hot and it had certainly done its work. The tingle in my clit was stirrings of heat in my vagina were unmistakable.
Pleased, I abruptly decided to test myself to make sure that I was in fully working condition. I was already in bed. What the hell?
I reached down, lifted my gown to my waist under the sheet and shoved my fingers into the loose panties they'd issued me at the hospital. I envisioned my last lover who had possessed a nice seven-inch penis and went to town, flicking and rubbing my clit rapidly the way I like sometimes when playing with myself.
I got so far along and then I felt my desire slipping away.
This confused me as I was focused on what he had looked like when we got it on. His big hard-on waving about. That view should be heating me up nicely. I redoubled my focus and started masturbating again harder. Imagining us kissing and me feeling his big hard penis rubbing against my thigh as he pinched my breasts.
Still, the feelings kept slipping away from me.
I switched up and tried picturing another guy I'd had the hots for. Nothing. I was losing my erection. I switched around and thought instead about some favorite porno videos I had watched over the years. Envisioning a threesome with two ripped guys, one with his hardness in my mouth, the other in my vagina. It was one of my favorite fantasies. Always got me going envisioning it.
Still nothing.
I was getting frustrated.
At that moment though, a night nurse staffer came in.
I am not rich and my health care is not gold standard level so I was in this four-man room and three of the beds had patients in them right now counting me. The hospital just used curtains to separate the beds, but real privacy was an iffy proposition depending on the last person to move them around. At that moment I could not see my other two bedmates, but the space between them was wide open and visible in spill out light from the corridor.
I had frozen my fingers when the nurse came in and I was watching her to make sure she had not seen my wrist tenting the bedclothes and repeatedly lifting the sheet above my crotch as I diddled myself. I was assuming... make that hoping... she would leave soon so I could get back to caressing myself, but she was busily rummaging through a cabinet at one end of the room trying to find something. For some reason though there was this odd faint green glow around her that seemed in make her more visible in the half light. I recognized her slightly. The candy stripes were clear on her nurse dress and I knew she was an eighteen or nineteen-year-old intern with frizzy hair who helped around our ward. The kind who are working for little or nothing in the money line; basically, trying out nursing to see how they liked it before they took the big dive into the cost and time of study required to get a nursing license.
She bent over, reading labels on bottles with a small flashlight to enhance her sight and I thought there was a lot of ambient light through windows too so I could make her out pretty well. I blinked. The greenish glow still there. My eyes drifted over her on their own. Oddly, they followed her bottom as she bent and shifted forward to aid her peering in the poor illumination. I found my eyes tracking the rounded curves of her ass. The wide hips. The legs. Her skirt on the nurse's uniform lifted quite a bit in that position and she moved her hips side to side as she worked. She wasn't the prettiest girl in the world and had some of the late teen chubby weight on her that American girls tend to put on if they are not focused on controlling it.