This is a (very) gentle femdom romance story. It's slow burning, cozy, and kind. Safe for curious vanilla readers who want a soft and sweet story about consensual domination and submission. Snuggle under your blanket and enjoy.
***
It took three long weeks to get here, sitting at this little cafe on my first date with Christopher. He was my favorite match by far from the app. It wasn't just his looks. I'm not that shallow. He was groomed, dressed just a notch above casual, and clearly partook in regular exercise. That was enough for me.
Mostly I liked his sweet personality and the way he thought about life and people and everything. He hadn't turned all fashionably cynical like most people our age. I loved talking to him. We'd been texting every single evening since we matched, always a little more than the day before. It had become my favorite part of the day.
"You're just like I thought you'd be, Kira," he said softly. Most of the things he said were soft-spoken. He had such a kind voice, and my name sounded better on his tongue than my own.
"You're almost just like I thought," I told him.
"Almost?"
"I thought you'd be shorter, like me. Maybe you shouldn't take so many pictures next to spruce trees and bookcases."
That made his smile turn into a laugh. He was very easy to laugh, a naturally happy sort, but also pretty shy. He would look nervously away while talking, frequently adjust his already-adjusted glasses, and sometimes even stammer a bit. I tried to help ease his nerves by focusing the conversation on the books we were currently reading. It was a familiar topic for him, as he owned a little used bookshop not far from this cafe.
"I love a good, cozy mystery or romance book in winter," I said. Outside there were light flurries that we both occasionally turned to watch. "I just want good things to happen to good people and nothing too sad or violent."
"That's a popular request lately at the shop. I'm a little sick of all the gritty stuff too these days. I'm actually reading a cozy fa-fa-fantasy right now myself."
He looked away when he stuttered over that word, and I felt bad for him. I wanted to tell him it was fine and he was safe. That his shyness was cute like all the rest of him. But things like that take a lot more than a few kind words to rectify.
I couldn't help but wonder if part of his shyness tonight sprung from our chat a few days ago. That was when he mentioned, all quick and quiet and mid-sentence, that he could be pretty submissive. I think, looking back on it now, that he was trying it out, downplaying it. If I laughed or implied disgust, then he'd have typed 'lol' to me, and it would have only been a joke or an autocorrect error. SchrΓΆdinger's submissive.
But I personally found it alluring. For years I'd known I had a strong dominant side, but I've so rarely gotten to express it. Guys see me, small all around with delicate, feminine features, and it usually brings out the caveman in all of them. Even now in my late twenties guys sometimes found it fun to pick me up in two arms with no warning at all. But Christopher here was different, willing to see me the way I felt inside. I bet he was the kind of guy who would even ask to kiss me, or wait until I kissed him first. A lot of women hated that, but it was exactly my type.
So that night, when he typed his nervous, quiet little confession, I typed back, "You're submissive? Good."
"Really?" he'd responded. It took an entire thirty seconds of three flashing dots for that one word.
"You heard me," I said, because I thought it sounded dominant and I was feeling a little flirty. I added a little winking emoji next to it to be sure.
I thought our chat might evolve into some kind of sexting but instead he was so adorably happy after that exchange. Even more than the usual amount. Exclamation points everywhere. It made me smile then, and now to remember it.
"You read a lot but I don't see you in the shop," he said. He wasn't hurt, but a little surprised.
"Honestly, I'm more of a library girl."
"Oh," he said. He feigned disappointment. "They're always stealing my customers."
I laughed. "Now I've got a good reason to visit. Do you want another coffee?"
I wanted to stay right here, talking and talking until the cafe closed and the owner shooed us outside. He'd even seemed to calm a bit in the past twenty minutes. His leg bounced a lot less under him as he sat.
"Hmm," he said. "Maybe just some ice water. So hot in here."
I took that as flirting, but then he fanned his face while we waited in line for my second coffee and his ice water. It wasn't even hot in the cafe, and every time someone opened the door I clutched my sweater tighter to me. At the time, I thought nothing of it. Maybe he just ran hot.
But back at the table, when we tried to pick up where we'd left off, things just weren't the same anymore. I was in the middle of a childhood story that usually made just about everyone laugh, and he just sort of blinked at me numbly, like he was half-asleep. Was I boring him to death now? Where had I gone wrong? My feelings were hurt and I felt a blush of embarrassment rising to my cheeks.
I decided then to get down to business and end all this confusion immediately. "So what are you hoping for with me?" I asked. I couldn't have been more direct about it. Now was his chance to bring up friendship, or say he was just enjoying the single life, and let me down easy.
He mumbled out his answer so quietly. "I really, really like you. I'm sorry-" Then he slumped forward to lay his head on his arm, flung over the table. I gasped, covering my mouth with both hands. He made this little whimpering moaning sound, and closed his eyes in a grimace.
"Christopher?" I stood up, my heart pounding like crazy. The barista was only eighteen or so, and took a nervous step back. No help at all. So I checked my poor date over myself. I shook his shoulder, and then put a hand on his cheek. My hurt feelings were now swiftly recovered. The poor guy was burning up.
I knew just what it was right then. There had been an invisible nightmare stalking this city, hitting unsuspecting people like a bus and laying them flat out for a solid twenty-four hours. I got hit with it myself a few weeks back.
"Hey, wake up," I said gently, my lips right up to his ear. "Stand up and follow me. You can do it."
I coaxed him outside like that, as gently as I could. The moment the frigid December air touched his skin the chills began, making him double over, teeth chattering. "I don't feel good," he said, sounding like a frightened child.
"I know, I know," I said. "You have a fever."
"Did I ruin our date?"
I laughed softly. He wasn't thinking straight anymore, so I was getting pure, unfiltered Christopher right now. At least he was still a sweetheart. "You didn't do anything wrong. I had a lovely time."
"Oh! Me too," he said, a burst of his usual joy cutting through his pain for a second. Then he doubled over a second time, shuddering and grabbing his own arms to stay warm.
"You walked here, right?" I checked. He nodded. "Let me just drive you home."
The poor man fell asleep in my car before I even turned out of the parking lot. It was actually a little adorable, him making the car window his pillow.
Seeing that made my choice clear. He was so obviously incapacitated that there was no way I could dump him off at his place and leave him there like this. So I turned left instead of right.
"Don't worry," I told him. He didn't seem to hear me. I pressed the back of my hand to his cheek at every single stoplight. "Don't worry. Don't worry."
Maybe that was more for me than him, because I was pretty worried, truth be told. I pulled into my little designated parking spot and gently rubbed Christopher's shoulder until he opened his eyes. "Follow me."
I offered him a hand and he took it, his burning palm against my freezing one. He obeyed without question, trudging behind me into the lobby and down the first floor corridor, lumbering and awkward. His teeth still chattered.